Product Type: Tesco Ready Meals
Newest Review: ... I have had a couple of other meals from this range and they were pretty okay-ish, so I was hopeful that this would at least be slightly ple... more
Dieter's Dog Food
Tesco Light Choices Minced Beef and Potatoes
Member Name: larlipop
Tesco Light Choices Minced Beef and Potatoes
Date: 15/03/10, updated on 15/03/10 (105 review reads)
Advantages: Lovely potato and peas, cheap and easy
Disadvantages: The mince is barely fit for human consumption
Yet again I have fallen prey to my mother's dieting escapades and the consequential diet-y, low-fat food products that go along with it. Curses! Can I just state, and I say this in a caring way, my mum is a complete fool, for one "diet" options are generally more expensive/less healthy/not that far removed from the original versions anyway, and for two, mum you are perfectly slim as it is! Stop being a silly goose.
On returning home from a hard shift at work yesterday (mothering sunday+footie=busy pub!) I was practically withering away to nothing. My ma decided to manipulate the situation by getting me to eat up this ready meal that she didn't want, and was on its 'last legs' so to speak. So this was thrust in my face as soon as I got in, and although 'minced beef and potatoes' didn't exactly thrill me I was at the light-headed and snappy stage of hunger and was practically eating my shoe at that point. If dogfood had been offered I would have given it serious consideration. Turns out I may aswell have...
This is a part of Tesco's 'light choices' range. I have had a couple of other meals from this range and they were pretty okay-ish, so I was hopeful that this would at least be slightly pleasant. Oh me and my childish hopes. The cardboard sleeve boasted (in a big red circle! You can't miss it!) that this costed a mere £1. A £1! that's, like, a fouth of a vogue magazine! For food! Goodtimes I suppose, since readymeals are usually grossly overpriced.
Being female I also checked out the calorie count. 200 calories?! For the whole fricking thing? Quite, quite amazing.
I was getting in the spirit of things now, so I gave it to Mike (the microwave, duh!) for a few minutes and was rewarded with a hot, steamy plastic tray of some sloppy looking food. I wasn't nonplussed by appearances, I learned and accepted sloppy ready meals years ago. The smell, however...well I can't say I was exactly drinking it in. The smell reminded me of when you're on a plane and they start heating up the food, but grosser. Ho hum.
Plopped out in a bowl, it seemed a plentiful portion. Enough for delicate ladies anyway. Half the meal was made up of the 'minced beef' saucy bit, in its greyish-brown, lumpy splendour. The rest was cubes of potato and a generous amount of peas.
It was finally nom time (we have wierd terms for everything in my house, just so you don't get too confused), and in the spirit of Spring and hope I'll start with the good bits. The potatoes were a starchy joy(!), fluffy and yielding with a nice earthy flavour, indicating these were in fact REAL potatoes and not some reconstuited crap you usually get in such meals. The peas further raised morale, they were fresh-tasting, plump and sweet. All-round stellar peas.
The minced beef part was, sadly, not far off repulsive. It had an awful sticky, almost gluey consistency with tiny bobbles of beef throughout. I was actually thankfull in the end that the beef was diced so small, since the few larger bits I did come across were, just, totally vile. Hard, and rubbery, lord knows what part of the animal it originated from, completely disgusting. There was also some very finely diced carrot and onion in there, but not enough to be noticable in texture or flavour. I'm guessing they were there to bulk out the sauce and lower the calories.
The overall flavour was vaguely meaty, but with an odd bitter, almost sour aftertaste that seemed to pervade and violate my entire oral cavity. Very akin to dogfood. Ewww times ten.
After eating the potatoes and peas I gave up on the sauce. I was surprisingly full at this point and I just COULD NOT GO ON with that sloppy excuse of a..puddle of putrid...homeless person's urine...sauce. Just couldn't. I told my mum she was a child abuser and then flounced off to get some orange juice in a vain attempt to rid my mouth of the unpleasantness. It only slightly worked! I had to taste it for hours after! No matter what I did! Horrific! (can you sense me getting more high-pitched?)
I must grudgingly acknowledge the plus points of this meal. It is cheap, easy to prepare, low calorie and has rather tasty tats and peas. Since I could, to the same effect, buy some normal peas and potatoes and eat those (but why would I do that?) these plus points can only accumulate to one star in my opinion.
The vulgar minced beef part will give me shudders for years to come and for this I suggest, all those except masochists AVOID as one would avoid doggy-poop on the pavement and/or swine flu. It really is that bad.
Summary: Yuck, to the power of 100
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