Kingflop Forkup Hard (Estate Agents in general)

Member Name: lozarian

Product:	Estate Agents in general
Date:	20/08/09 (44 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You set a new low bar for everyone you meet

Disadvantages: A general hatred for mankind is kindled in your soul

Just out of university, trying to move into London, getting a house with friends. An already stressful situation, people from around the country descending on London for a week with the desperate aim of finding a place to live. What could make this worse, more stressful, harder to deal with? KFH.

Having found a place we liked, put down the holding fee (oh you want £600 of my money before anything's agreed? That's fine. Would you like me to bend over as well?) and eventually got through to the landlord via the agent, the non-stop barrage of incompetence began.

Every time we tried to get in contact with the agent, she took two days to respond, she was never in the office so phone calls were useless. We asked for a 12 month contract with a break clause for the 4 of us in a 3 bed house. We were told that we needed to pay 6 weeks deposit and that the landlord had agreed to our offer.

You would think that the first thing an agent would do is tell the landlord the number and style of people putting an offer in, logically. "Hi, I have these 4 people looking at your property and have put an offer in of XXX per week, how does that sound?"

Of course not. Three days later we get told that the deposit has gone up by another 2 weeks rent because the landlord thought that 4 people in a three double bed house was strange. Not expected to have, oh I don't know, a couple living in one of the double beds.

Mistake one by agent: not telling landlord there are 4 of us.

Then we are told that the landlord wants an 18 month contract rather than 12 months. We were told that the landlord was happy with our offer. The agent had clearly not told the landlord anything useful

Mistake two by agent: not telling anyone anything.

Having about as many options as a badger stuck in a cement well we had to agree. Our lovely agent then said that the contracts were being drawn up and would be emailed out and posted in a day. Three days later we asked again "Oh they're on their way"

One week later when one of us gets to London and goes to the estate agents they get handed a massive envelope full of contract and bumpf. The excuse - the system was down. Which system? How can pressing print and posting something require anything more than a nervous and respiratory system?

What about emailing us the contracts. Or Just not lying every two days and saying they would be sent out soon? We know people in London, we could have got them to pick up the contract if we'd actually been told the truth once in two weeks.

Mistake three: Having the wonderful combination of character traits: Lying, lazy and useless.

With the contract finally in hand it gets opened and read. It is riddled with inconsistencies. There are documents missing, there are clauses which are standard in letting contracts which are missing, there are non-standard clauses which we are supposed to agree to. One of us needs a guarantor because they don't have a job yet. The guarantor is written as such as guaranteeing everyone's contract.

We have a 10 month break clause which the agent made us fight for. They did not, however, say that the break clause was for both parties. We did not agree to both parties. If we'd been told we may well have, but we weren't.

Then the agent tries to change the break clause to 6 months, which is what we wanted in the first place.

mistake four: Staggering incompetence at something a six year old could manage. Printing something standard and posting it.

As part of the contract there is an inventory check. We told the agent when we were going to be in London, we gave her dates, they still organised the inventory check for the TWO days this entire month when we are going to be at a wedding in Kent.

mistake five: memory of a goldfish.

This is all completely ignoring the amazingly rude manner we are treated with throughout the whole experience. No communication for a solid week, not telling anyone anything.

I cannot stress this enough, agents are all moneygrabbing bastards looking out for their own cut and screw everything else. There is nothing you can do about it, and they will turn the thumbscrews with the power they have. With the position of responsibility having a key role in sorting out people's places to live, something less than gargantuan incompetence and complete idiocy would be expected. It is not so.

Stay away from KFH. And agents in general.

Summary: Live in a cardboard box. It's easier.