The Operator's Cow Pie (Meat)

Member Name: The Operator

Product:	Meat
Date:	11/05/02 (394 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You tell me!

Disadvantages: It's got cow in so it's crap for veggies

You've read my receipts before haven't you? Some of them have even been crowned, y'know! You know that I'm a bloke who likes to cook occasionally, when time and shifts permit and also when the inclination propels me. It's not a hobby, eating's a necessity and sometimes a damned inconvenient one too. I don't know anything about cooking apart from what I've gleaned from watching others do it so when I do make something a bit on the special side, it's usually made up on the spot with whatever's left over in the fridge; like tonight's one. Which isn't something daft like squid or fishfinger sandwiches, it's serious OK?

I've got two very very favourite dishes. Spaghetti bolognese (which doesn't actually exist in Bologna - I asked a friend from there once who knew these things and he denied it, saying we invented it) and Shepherd's Pie. Or Cottage Pie. Shepherd's Pie is made with lamb, geddit? Cottage Pie with umm...beef. I've got a little friend who would eat either for breakfast, lunch and dinner given half the chance but those are the boring and bland shop bought ones. The ones I cook up are a tad different so here goes with my own version of a classic English farmhouse dish. Which I doubt my little friend will like but we can only wait and see. Or force feed her of course.

OK. Here's what you need:

1 lb of good minced beef. That's 454 grammes to the continentals and that's the last you'll see of suspect measurements.

Several good sized spuds

I onion about the size of a cricket ball

2 cloves of garlic

A handful of mushrooms

A squeeze of tomato puree

A slug of milk and a large knob of butter or cheaper dairy equivalent

Salt and pepper and ahem, a beef stock cube. I know I ought to make my own but, well...

And basically anything left in the fridge which is about to go off such as a gree
n pepper which has seen better days, a chilli pepper and some Busha Browne's Spicy Tomato Love Apple Sauce.

Ssshhh! A secret ingredient. Nothing exotic or controlled, just something to turn it into a better than run of the mill dish

This lot should cost you no more than 4 quid depending on the quality of the mince. But there's enough here for four good sized servings or two giant-sized ones so it's pretty good vfm.
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Now, go on, turn that lot into something palatable, clever dick.

First, slice up the onion and crush the garlic cloves. Not with a press, use the blade of a knife, it's so much more satisfying. Then chuck those into a hot saucepan with a little sunflower oil and sweat them off for a few minutes until the onion goes a bit soft. Not too much mind, you want the onion to cook in the meat, not in the pan and you don't want it to disappear to nothing in the end result.
Brown the mince up in a large frying pan, making sure you've got all the lumps out of it. Add the onions and garlic and stir in. With the exception of the mushrooms and the stock cube, add all the other ingredients such as the peppers (not too much green pepper, about half of one will do), the chilli (again, only a small one, this isn't to be too spicy), some salt and ground black pepper, the tomato sauces in modest quantities (especially if you managed to get hold of the Busha Browne's - from Sainsbury's) and then the secret ingredient. Ah! You see, when I first made this I thought I'd gone over the top with the spicy stuff so I looked around for something to temper it without taking away too much of the taste. My eyes saw the fruit bowl and a very sorry looking apple. In it went, cored and sliced up. Don't put the mushrooms in yet. I said, not yet, OK?

Peel and boil up the potatoes. You're going to make mash so you can save yourself a lot of bother by slicing them up nic
e and small so they mash up easier. I use a fork to mash so you can get all the tiny lumps out. I can't stand lumpy mash but if you're really lazy you can start it with a masher. Mashing can be quite strenuous so think of all the calories you're burning up, lardies. Don't forget the milk and butter, will you? You can even add a little bit of spring onion or some chives. Even a sprinkling of cheese to the mash if you wish; it's up to you.

By the time the potatoes are boiled and mashed, the rest will be ready for the next stage, providing of course you've not turned the hotplate off. If you have, you're a fool and shouldn't be allowed near sharp objetcs. Get a large, fairly high sided dish or casserole dish. I've got a ten inch square ceramic one with two inch sides which is ideal for this.
Put the mincy stuff in the bottom and then add the sliced mushrooms and the beef stock. You don't want the mushrooms going all soggy and losing their taste so that's why I put them in towards the end. My preference again but it's my ball, ok. Mix everything up and add a little water if it's too dry. Ladle on the mash, making sure you make a nice seal around the edges of the dish and make pretty patterns in the top. Carve your initials or those of your lover in it, go on - be romantic. Slide it all onto the middle shelf of a pre-heated oven (400 deg but I don't know what that is in gas, sorry) and leave it for about oooh, 3/4 hour until the mash gets all lovely and crusty. That's the bestest thing about Cottage Pie isn't it, a nice crispy top crunching under your fork.

Serve with love (or a beer) and enjoy.

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