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  • Might Frighten the Horses
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      07.07.2001 20:22
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      • " Might Frighten the Horses"

      Question: What is “Greggs, Glasgow” ? Answer: Greggs are probably the finest ‘feeding stations’ in old Glasgow town. You may feel that ‘feeding station’ is an exaggeration. On the contrary, as those who know about these things will tell you, Greggs are far more than your run-of-the-mill bakers. Anyone who lives or works within the confines of the wonderful conurbation that is Glasgow and who remains unaware of this fundamental truth should be made to take up a course of intensive therapy, enabling them to fully appreciate the finer things in life. Greggs are nothing short of an institution in these parts. Question: How do I find a Greggs in Glasgow ? Answer: While in the city centre, you can find any one of the half dozen or more Greggs by simply undertaking a simple and time honoured tradition, - Look for the queues. It has come to my attention, over the years, that the people of Glasgow - “know a good thing when they see one” and they ‘see one’ when they see a Greggs (Greggs of Rutherglen, that is, to give them their ‘proper’ title). The queues in question can be seen to form around the lunch-hour period and, in more localised pockets, at the various times allotted for the pies to “come out”. - you could add to these times, those when the bridies, sausage rolls, cheese savouries and the like are due for retrieval from the ovens which are part-and-parcel of any Greggs shop. Simply look down any street in Glasgow city centre (I could have included the outskirts of the city, but that would have been asking a bit too much of my poor wee fingers) I digress, right, - you’re looking down a street in the city centre, - OK ? Do you see a queue outside any of the shops in that street ? No ? Well, there are two, - no make that three possible interpretations of
      your observation. 1. It is after five o’clock and the shops are all shut 2. It is an unusually quiet period, after all the pies and such like have sold out say, and the locals’ hunger pangs have all been sated. 3. There is no Greggs in that street. On the other hand, if upon looking down a Glasgow street you do in fact see a queue wending its way along a pavement, occupied by expectant, slightly agitated, intelligent individuals, - then you have (almost certainly) found your local Greggs shop. Question: What can I buy in a Gregg’s shop ? Answer: How long have we got? Greggs, speaking personally at least, is nothing short of ‘foodie heaven’. If you enjoy the act of eating, then Greggs are the answer to a foodie’s prayer. Where to begin? Ah, yes, I know. Greggs Large Country Grain. It might look like you ordinary brown loaf - but bite into a slice of this wonderful bread and you know you have found your perfect loaf. Unless you have a sensitivity to nuts or seed, this is a ‘must try’ for those unfortunate enough not to have tasted its unique flavours. Seeds of all descriptions and even the essential bread at the heart of this loaf is ‘just right’. I must have tried out just about every brown loaf on the market. Some are nearly ‘great’, with those who nearly do it for me including Warburtons Seeded Batch loaf. The Warburtons falls down in my opinion by being both too moist and too expensive. In addition, I find the small loaf is insufficient for my needs (like lamorna, I like the big ones) and the large size, at over £1:00, is far to expensive for a loaf that is only ‘nearly right’. A Large Country Grain will only set you back 83p. and you can (if you like small ones) buy a smaller version for less than sixty pence. When it comes to Greggs Large Country Grai
      n... buttered, toasted or even plain - that’s right, you can eat this loaf naked - just as it comes. Whatever way you choose to eat this wonderful loaf, it is an experience to be treasured and savoured. (unlike when I eat it - as the Neil Diamond song say as - “Done to Soon”) What else do Greggs have on offer? Well, rather than stay at this keyboard all day, rhyming off all the fabulous treats to be had at your local Greggs shop, I’ll keep to the few wee things that I find to be ‘essential eating experiences’. Sausage rolls; delicious straight from the oven or these delightful savouries are so ‘just right’ they can be eaten C-O-L-D. In this sultry weather, they are a delight to eat cold. An additional aspect that adds to the appeal of a Greggs sausage roll is that the youngsters appear to thoroughly enjoy them. In these parts, they are seen as an essential part of the harried mother’s answer to the vexing question of ‘how to feed the kids’ during the long summer holidays. Now for the ‘dangerous’ bit. I thought I had better put that in - just as a wee warning as it were - so that those of a more sensitive disposition would know only to read this section after ensuring they were fully satisfied ... food wise that is ;-7 Question: What non-savoury items can I find in a Greggs shop ? Answer: Once again, I will keep to those items which I find most attractive. There are others, - which I suggest you try out for yourself as I have no way of knowing what your personal tastes run to. Then again, after reading some of the opinions in dooyoo, my personal likes and dislikes appear insipid little things ... I digress. You’ll possibly understands where I’m coming from when I say this is the dangerous bit -when I say just one ‘little word’ - DOUGHNUTS. Yes, I know, I do
      honestly. I’ve been there. The range of ‘doughnuts’ on offer in Greggs is really quite excellent. My own personal favourite is the caramel doughnut. Caramel icing on the outside of a delectable, delicious doughnut, - while inside ... inside there is the most delicious ‘cream’ filling. They don’t holdback either, the filling in all Greggs doughnuts is generous and delicious. When they put them in the paper bag, they add a little grease-proof ‘protector’ to stop them sticking to the top of the bag. Now, tell me that isn’t ‘above and beyond’ service wise ? Greggs really have thought of everything. (which reminds me - back at the ‘sausage rolls’ section, I should have said that, once paid for, the staff will gladly put your order, of sausage rolls, cheese savouries etc., aside so that, in the short time it takes to sell out an entire oven load of such delicious savoury treats, you can be away and do some shopping and return five minutes or ten minutes later - knowing you order will be there for you - isn’t that excellent ?) It has been known for two whole oven loads of sausage rolls to sell-out in less than ten minutes - that’s how good they are. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, - doughnuts. How about their ‘Devon doughnuts’, yes that is where I’ll go now, I mean I really W-A-N-T to go there. Devon doughnuts, for the uninitiated, are those tasty treats, those little pieces of heaven with the cream inside. Mmm-m-m-m-m. I can taste one right now. Lets be honest here folks, I could go one right now. ;-) OK let’s *all* be ‘honest’ here , - yes? - yes, - It’s all right I’m here for you, - you can tell me, - I understand. You can talk to me, -after all - there’s nobody here ‘sept thee and me .. Its safe, you can admit it. You’ve done it too, haven&#
      8217;t you. Yes, I thought so. - You’ve used you pinkie to ... you know ... Right, where was I - oh yes. Greggs, Glasgow. What more can I say? When I saw this category I just had to start writing, it’s as simple as that. I mean, “Greggs, Glasgow” ; what we’re talking about here are simply some of my favourite places in the entire world. And while I’m at it .... I was wondering - who it is in dooyoo shares my addiction? Who was it - what ‘sausage roll sampler’, what ‘Country Grain Kid’, what Devon Doughnut devotee’ asked for this category item? Could it be - that we have been rubbing shoulders with our fellow dooyooers while queuing in West Nile Street ? GG

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