TOILET BOWLS TASTE BETTER THAN THIS (McDonald's)

Member Name: yoshitoshi

Product:	McDonald's
Date:	16/08/01 (106 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: cheap

Disadvantages: tastes aweful

When I was kid I was always lured to the playground of McDonalds, with phrases like “should of got a watch from McDonalds”, and toys like those Frisbee UFO happy meals plus the train tables to have your 5th birthday party on. Oh McDonalds was heaven all those 18 years ago. Then I grew up and my taste buds matured with the adulteration and emergence of Burger King and I realised Ronald McDonald was just too friendly with Gary Glitter for my liking.

THE MACY D EXPERIENCE

Walking down the high street at midnight in a half-drunk state, you spot that glowing M sticking out in the distance, its like heaven is here and God is calling you in. You see the light and think I will follow, I must walk with God.

THE ENTRANCE

At the double doors where push and pull are a contradiction of terms in a chaotic state you manage to push instead of pull and muck around with the door until you have opened it. You walk into the Restaurant, which is in itself a complete lie of the word as it is like no other restaurant you have ever been in. You check out the crummy yellow tables, and walk over to the hardly existent queue. Browsing out the menu displayed above you, you think mm no Double Whopper or Big King XL meals. The thought processes wurr away until your mind is made up, 2 seconds later your up at the counter .The one burger short of a happy meal-ACNE 2 Gold Star Kid greets you, skin so degenerated that you have met better-looking lepers. You wonder why their skin is so bad and spot the burgers being fried away and the fries bubbling in that grease box, then you realise why.

THE ORDER

So its food time, she asks, “What would you like?” you reply “Big Mac meal please”. Not only do they ask if you want it large but now they have a supersize version that would make most fat Americans happy. Your feeling a bit of a fat bastard today, so yeah supersize it is. Then she asks “what drink would
you like?” thoughts of Vodka and Red Bull cross your mind, you reply “Coke please no ice” you know the drink is cold already and totally watered down as it is, let alone having half the Arctic Icebergs shoved into your cup. So little Miss ACNE kid takes your money then walks away to get your meal. 20 seconds later she is back and you take your brown tray of food, not forgetting the straws and napkins.

TIME TO STUFF YOUR FAT FACE

You sit down at the light smokers nicotine style yellow table, yes you picked the bloody wobbly table and half your coke goes everywhere. But these faults do not make much difference as your more hungry than a starving Ethiopian. You take a chip from your super-sized bucket of fries, it looks limp, pale and overcooked in comparison to the new fries at BK or the ones at KFC. You tease it between your lips, letting it tenderise you to prepare you for the taste. God if only you walked to the Kebab shop, there is no taste to Macy D fries and they are luke warm not hot.

You pick up your limp Big Mac, the picture on the wall really is not justice to the truth. Taking a big bite sensation of MMMMM that oniony creamy thousand island sauce and garnish is tasty but the burger is like dog food, definitely not flame grilled and definitely not as meaty as a whopper. You take a sip from the barrel filled Atlantic Ocean sized coke, tastes so totally watered down. In all this is a very poor mans Burger King. Finishing your meal taking a painfully slow time, you feel still hungry because the burger was simply not big enough to meet your needs.

MILKSHAKES

From back in the day Macy D’s had a good reputation for their vegetable fat shakes. They were a lot thicker than the Burger King equivalent, plus you could just get a take away milkshake that would mean no VAT added, that was a bonus for a hard up kid on £2 a week pocket money. Burger King has caught up a treat now in that department
when the milkshake machine works that is! I really like the idea of the newish McFlurry but I guess that soon Burger King will have a better equivalent.

SPECIAL MEALS

I liked the specials Macy D’s would come with like the McRib and their Indian variety, if only they had nice food all the time. Why cant they keep popular food that is tasty rather than the usual lack lustre lines that they have, it does not make much business sense.

CLOSING TIMES

Over the years, McDonalds have caught on that convenience food needs convenient opening times. Although Subway and kebab shops rules by far at weekends as they are often open till 3am. McDonalds does have a fair old crack of the whip till 1am but it is definitely missing out on the drunken clubberz coming out for cheap food. In some McDonalds in the U.S.A they opened nearly 24 hours but you will only get that in London, not in Sunny Suburbia.


CONCLUSION

Food is cheap but does not meet my taste requirements, I wouldn’t put it in your mouth let alone mine! It’s the fast food of last resort if you can not find a Burger King, KFC or Kebab shop! I did not mention about their breakfast menu because to be honest I am not the type of person to wake up early plus I would rather have a greasy full English fry up in a dirty café.

Summary: