Constipation ? Not after a visit to 'Perfect Pizza' you aint! (Perfect Pizza)

Member Name: eclipsehater

Product:	Perfect Pizza
Date:	05/05/07 (418 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Quick relief

Disadvantages: Spend a weekend in bed

Ok, here's two stories to make you pass up that 'Meat Feast pizza'. This is going back to 1998 but seems things haven't changed. This is for the (Im) Perfect Pizza in High Street, RUSHDEN, Northants, if it's still there and hasn't been burned down. My mate at the time was a great foodie and his grub had to be 'jsut so' suffice to say, that if he ate somewhere it was top notch. One day in the car we're both hungry as horses so a quick pizza seems a good idea. Pulled up outside, mate jumps out goes in, joins queue .. i'm sitting there in the passenger side chewing the leather off the dash drooling over the pictures in the windows, not the page 3 ones I add!!

About 5 mins later, mate comes out with a face of thunder on him, me asks what's up, said that the 'kid' behind the counter had the dirtiest finger nails he's ever seen, absolutely black they were, encrusted with dirt, so he decided to make his excuses and leave. Bang goes the damn pizza.,

Anyway, several months later on a friday, i'm at home all hungy bungy and hadnt eaten so much as a crust of bread all day, so i ordered a 'seafood special' and a bottle of coke, oh bloody yes, the seafood was special all right ...

Pizza arrived on said goon with hairdryer - sorry, moped, pays the man his wedge and disappears inside to scoff said food with coke. All fine so far...

Dusk comes and i feel tired, wnet to bed a little earlier than normal, woke up at midnight in a cold sweat absolutely on fire, thought 'funny aint got heating on' and i was roasting. Tried to get out of bed, and just fell down BANG! couldnt move a muscle, thought the munchkins had crept out of the cupboard and superglued my feet to the back of my legs, absolutlely crippled in agony i was, every bast**d muscle and tendon was pain, pain, pain. Just like walking into a Glasgow pub and calling all the drinkers a bunch of haggis eating in-bred tarts!!

I then needed the loo, could i get off the porcelain bus? Could I hell as like, why is it when you need 12 packs of diocalm there just aint any around?! For me i couldnt move off the bog i sat glued feeling myself dehydrate, and when i did get back to bed, shit!!! RUN !!!! nearly never made the bombing run on a few occasions I can tell you. Saturday i felt like id been run over with an industrial steam roller and the bastard reversed just to finish the job off. I was on the bog so much the seat was polished as my arse buffed it like a mirror - not to mention the new case of haemmoroids ... :(

All weekend, bog, bed, bog, water, bed, lucozade, bog, bed, right through to monday, could i go work, nay lad, couldnt damn move, it took it right out of me, what was the cause? The f***ing prawns on top of the Perfect Pizza 'Seafood Special'.

NEVER EVER AGAIN ...

I cringe when i see one of their concessions on the street, keep your seafood special for the seagulls - they like shitting all day and now I know what their arse must feel like, bread crumbs anyone?!!!!

0/10 for cleanliness and food storage, bad case of food poisioning and laid me up for a week and a bit.

Summary: Shit - literally