I know a lot of people dislike the concept of Valentine's day but for me it is a nice day to celebrate your relationship with your other half. It's a little mean on the single people but a day we always recognise (although my husband wouldn't mind if we ignored!).

Gifts
Over the years I have bought him clothes, a nice aftershave and CDs or DVDs. Anything that's a nice gift really that I know he will like to use. I am usually more organised than him when it comes to 14 Feb and prepare for the question from him around 12 Feb Q."are we doing VD this year?" A. of course we are!!!

Cards
We always get a card and I look out for something that's not too mushy but has a nice picture on it. It is pointless going for verse with my man as he doesn't read it, just glances at the picture and says thanks.

Going out
In more recent years we have opted for a night out on or around valentines. This is a lot more special now we have children and a rare night off is a true treat. We have many willing baby sitters so arranging cover is quite easy.

Where to?
Obviously it's best to choose somewhere you both like so each is suited. We have a local college site with an amazing restaurant that is a business but also a teaching place so you get high quality food and many courses for a very reasonable price. The service is outstanding and on Valentines day (we've been for the last 4 years) there is a rose presented to every lady, champagne and oysters on arrival, pink confetti, balloons, candles and a general hoo ha that is nice and not at all cheesy. Last year we were both ill with the noro virus and struggled to enjoy the night (we would not have left the house if we knew it was noro!) so we are looking forward to making the most of it this year to make up for last year.

Who pays?
I think it is unfair to make the man pay. Clearly if you have a joint account then it is halves, or if one has bought a gift and the meal is a gift from the other then that's fair enough. We save £2 pound coins, any cash back we have achieved through the year and I also cash in our change so we use money from this 'pot' for treats like this. We have only one rule with the pot money and that's that it must be used for doing fun things.

Final word
Every couple is different and so it's best you spend valentines doing something you both love to do, for us it's eating (!) but the most important gift is time and attention although it's nice when this comes with a nice gift and card too. Soft toys and gift shop tat are not for us but some people do love all this. You don't have to spend a lot for valentines but you should do something to show you care.