Helping people to find the WAY forward (The WAY Foundation)

Member Name: rosebud2001

Product:	The WAY Foundation
Date:	08/06/09 (123 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Helpful, excellent and secure forum, assistance when you need it.

Disadvantages: None

Ever since the internet first came into my life, back in 1995, I have been a fairly heavy user and I have made friends online and referred to it for advice whenever I could - considering it the most compact of reference libraries.

When my husband died it was no different - I used it to get information on books that could help and websites too.

The first website I encountered was Kate Boydell's Merry Widow - which is very good for the early days of bereavement but can be a little heavy going when you find yourself starting to move forward a little.

It was, however, on this site that I found a link to the WAY Foundation, and I decided to join.

The WAY part of the title stands for Widowed and Young - and is aimed at members under the age of 50 - perfect for me as I was 44 when I found myself widowed.

Membership costs £15 per year and for that you get periodic newsletters, and you can join in some of the many social activities the site offer on both local and national levels.

What was the most important thing for me was being able to get in contact with people who were in the same situation and who understood from the off how I was feeling.

Many divorced people seem to think being widowed is the same, but it isn't. You can choose when you divorce a person if you never want to see them again, but once you are widowed that choice is taken away from you. So while friends who have gone through divorce thought they knew how I felt, in reality they had no idea.

Once I joined I was contacted by telephone by the local area contact for WAY and she took my details and added me to her mailing list. This meant that whenever there was an event taking place locally, I would get an e-mail informing me.

There have been a fair few events organised but due to a combination of factors, the main one being the difficulty I have in getting a sitter for my daughter, I have been unable to take part as yet but I do hope to change that in the near future.

WAY also organise holidays, which can be a minefield for widowed people with young children. Every year there is a trip to CenterParcs which is popular, and there have also been holidays in Scotland, including a trip to Loch Lomond for new year. Again, I have yet to take part in these but to have the option is very useful.

WAY also have a large stock of books on topics that members may find interesting. Many of these are hard to locate so they offer a book loan service which is free, except for return postage. The books available are listed on the WAY website.

What I have used the WAY foundation for the most is their forum, entitled SWANS, which stands for Sometimes We All Need Support.

To safeguard people at what is undoubtedly one of the most vulnerable periods of their life, the WAY Foundation will only let you post on this forum if you are a fully paid up member. This means that registration isn't straightforward, but I personally find it reassuring as I am a little paranoid about giving too much personal information away online and have sadly learned of people out there who behave like predators towards the bereaved.

Once you have finally registered your user ID and password the forum offers help and assistance from members on a variety of topics including sub-forums for general chat, for advice, an area for those who are widowed and do not have children, and a forum for those who are moving on to new relationships.

Some of the discussions can be very interesting and through the site I learned the shocking fact that the Widowed Parents Allowance is taxable, unlike maintenance from former partners which is classified as non-taxable and you are encouraged to contact your MP to complain about it.

This anomaly makes me very angry and is something I wish would get more coverage in the media. Too often, of course, the media are trying to demonise "lone parents", without stopping to consider the feelings of those of us who never set out to be one.

There are also two chat rooms on the forum which I found invaluable in the early days following my husband's death. That is when the loneliness hits you and it's very reassuring to know there are other people out there you can talk to and understand how you feel.

The forum isn't a really active one but I like that as you can dip in and out as required. Grief affects us all in different ways and sometimes I don't feel the need to visit for a few weeks, but then the low points come along and I know I need to go to one of the few places I know will help me.

The newsletter is a glossy A5 publication and contains information on volunteering, local events, holidays and the AGM. Almost everyone you come into contact with on WAY is a volunteer, giving up their own time to help others and their dedication to the foundation is unwavering. The magazine staff are no different and you are welcome to submit articles for publication.

I have just renewed my membership for my second year as a WAY member and suspect I shall remain one for some time to come.

I would hope none of you ever have to use the services the WAY Foundation provide, but if you do, I am sure you will find membership as helpful and as comforting as I have and realise that you are not alone as you follow the new, and unwanted path that life has handed you.

It's also worth noting that WAY isn't just for those who have lost a husband or wife - it's for anyone who has lost a partner whether married, unmarried, co-habiting or in a civil partnership.

http://www.wayfoundation.org.uk/

Summary: The place to come to if you have lost your partner at a relatively young age.