The Orient Expressed! Chinatown San Francisco. (Chinatown (San Francisco))

Member Name: GillMN

Product:	Chinatown (San Francisco)
Date:	19/06/09 (125 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Extravagant, Fabulous food and sights. Intriguing sex shops!

Disadvantages: Sometimes noisy! Very busy. Tourists everywhere!

Now I happen to think that San Francisco is one of the most magical cities in the world, so when you get into Chinatown in the City centre you are in fact entering a magical world inside another magical world! What could be more enchanting? I've been to San Francisco quite a few times and I always go for a meal in Chinatown. I've never been to China (yet) so this is the next best thing for me with the added bonus of it being a democratic sort of place, unlike the real one. (Don't get me started on China and Tibet!)

So, what's it like?
First thing to know is that it is it is the largest Chinese community outside of China and it's Blooming crowded! That's what! Once you get used to that you are okay but it seems to me, every time I go, that the average inhabitant of Chinatown is about 5 foot 4 inches tall, holds a normal conversation as though bent on homicide, has elbows that have been sharpened by the military and has never heard of the concept of body space. Queues? You have got to be joking! The only queues you are going to see in the shops here, are the pigtails on the traditionally dressed old men. (they were banned in the 1800's but have since made a comeback.)

Trying to buy fresh bean sprouts is an act of heroism.
However.....and it took me a bit of time to get my head around this, all the shouting and elbowing is actually quite friendly. My friend Yan reckons that you need to start worrying when they stop shouting and all go quiet. That's when you need to put your smoked chicken on the counter and back out quietly and slowly. I went into about three supermarkets in Chinatown and they were all the same. American Chinese shop assistants can't talk below 560 decibels. It's written into their contracts or something.

When you finally finish your food shopping (and take your ear plugs out ) there is a lot to see in Chinatown. There is nothing minimalist about the shop windows and frontage here! If you have a thing for dragons or golden, paw waving pups, this is the place for you! It's marvellous to see the designs, the colours, the lucky banners, the paper lanterns and streamers. Personally I think they try to out-China China! Sometimes it's hard to tell what is on sale for all the extraneous bits in the windows. Even the Bank of America is covered in dragons!

Chinatown is also the place to be if you are feeling a bit poorly. There are more Chinese Herbalists licensed to practice in San Francisco than in the rest of the US put together. I read that in a shop window so it must be true!
You can be treated by herbalists, acupuncturists, iridologists, bone displacers (don't ask me, I didn't fancy finding out about that one!), astrologers and zen practitioners.

You can have your fortune told. You can be massaged by someone walking up and down your back (I didn't do that one either!). You can have your own brand of tea blended for health and longevity. You can have a snakeskin jacket made, (come back next day to collect it.) You can find your perfect 'social partner all genders catered for!' (all genders?) (Tempting, but no I didn't try that shop either!) You could spend a full week just marvelling at the shops before you get to Chinatowns' most famous attribute and that is it's restaurants!

The restaurants represent every province of China. (plus a few that have been made up I think.) You can eat in a lowly little Chinese snack shop or a sumptous Chinese Palace. Prices range from about $15.00 to well over $500.00 for a banquet. I am told that anything that it is legal to consume in America is purchasable to eat here and I can believe it.

I love the restaurants but I have a problem with the amount of choice offered and wimplike usually let someone else order for me. The first time I was in one (about 20 years ago) there was a huge slogan written on the wall saying "We say NO to MSG!" I sat there puzzling about it, wondering if it was a political slogan. When I asked if my guess was correct, my host started to shout with laughter! He almost choked on his Wan-Ton. Bloody Mono-Sodium-Glutamate was what it was on about! How was I supposed to know that? He told the waiters too! It's not easy to eat a meal in dignity with half the restaurant giggling at you. No wonder I got taken out to so many meals, I was the Entertaining English Lady Lunatic!

I seem to remember being told that here are over 2,000 restaurants to choose from in San Francisco. I imagine that is true. I have been in half a dozen of them so I have about 1,994 to go before I've tried them all. The ones I ate in were all beautiful and the food was well presented and tasty. I didn't always know exactly what I was eating, I just trusted the people I was with not to be too extreme!

There are four decent sized parks in Chinatown and in the morning it is possible to see groups of people practising their exercises together or going through their TaeKwonDo routines. It is extremely interesting to watch! There are free lessons and classes available there if you want to try it. In one of the parks I watched a choir practising for a church concert. I thought it was really clever because you could buy tickets for the concert from the conductor if you wanted to. So they got to practise and publicise at the same time! It was lovely to listen to, a bit of peace amongst the bustle.

If you want a bit of fun, visit the Fortune Cookie Factory and see how the famous cookies are made. I was more interested in watching that than eating them because I think they taste of cardboard! I never found out who got to write the fortunes. I would not have minded having a go! "You will meet a lot of short dark strangers who will cry laughing because you have never heard of MSG." or "Beware the Sumo Wrestler who gives back massages!"

~~~Don't read this bit if you are easily offended!~~~

One side of the restaurant area is bordered by sex shops. Not the hidden furtive little ones we see signs to in England, these were more like supermarkets.
It was a very educational experience for me, seeing what people bought to help turn themselves on. I couldn't even begin to guess what some of the items were for.
There seemed to be an inordinate amount of inflatable sheep hanging around. (I am trying so hard not to make a joke about Welshmen here!)
You could buy wigs for bits of ones anatomy that are usually associated with Brazil.
Or chiming eggs?
Or spikey things that ......No, I'm not even going to go there!

Most of the goods in the shops were made in China and sold direct by their families in the USA. I imagine there are a lot of baffled factory workers somewhere on mainland China.
"What were you making today, Comrade Cheng?"
"I don't know Comrade Xu, but it involved a lot of plastic woolly things that went "baaa".

~~~Okay, you can look now!~~~

The Main entrance to Chinatown is marked by a beautifully ornate and huge traditional Chinese archway. This is on Grant Avenue which also plays host to the Chinese New Year Celebrations. You will find the evening market quite close to here too. It is best to enquire when they are held because it seemed to me that they were a bit of a 'movable feast.' They are worth going to, not just because the stalls are interesting but you also get to see a lot of street theatre. Chinese gymnasts and jugglers have to be seen to be believed!

Chinatown is easy to find in Downtown San Francisco. It is boundaried by Sacramento Street, Taylor Street, Bay Street, and the waterside. It's about 2 square miles in total. It is almost thirty minutes walk from Fisherman's Wharf if you don't stop to sightsee. (About three and a half hours if you do!)
Many trolleybuses and trains stop there. It is possible to go on guided tours if you don't feel like going it alone, your hotel will give you information on this because it is a very popular place with tourists.

It is a busy, intriguing, noisy, taste of the Orient, a good place to eat, a fun place to buy some very unusual presents or learn a new martial arts skill. I love it there!

Summary: If you are going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some Chinese Lanterns in your hair.