This soufflé's a flop (Fcuk Polished Cleansing Souffle)

Member Name: ms_memory

Product:	Fcuk Polished Cleansing Souffle
Date:	25/05/09 (94 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Nice fragrance

Disadvantages: Utterly pointless product

*** Ms Memory's bodywash soufflé challenge ****

Challenge 1: Work out what a 'bodywash soufflé' actually is: (N.B. The name has ben changed from Cleansing Soufflé.) In my mind's eye I see myself possibly sponging myself down with a soggy, deflated cheese pie. But no, this product from the FCUK Polished range is a pinkish-white pearlescent cream that looks more like hair conditioner than shower gel/scrub, and comes in a round, dusky-pink-coloured plastic pot with brown lid and chic graphics. Like the other products in the Polished range, it has lovely, sweet, musky fragrance (cheifly consisting of vanilla, mandarin and osmanthus flower and nope, I'd never heard of the last ingredient either).

Challenge 2: Accept that this really is supposed to be used in the shower, despite how it feels: The soufflé is described as an "ultra-thick, luxurious and nourishing bodywash" but feels like I'm rubbing myself down with gloopy, past-it-best body lotion. It doesn't lather up and drips off my skin in blobs, if the water hasn't melted it first.

Challenge 3: Attempt to believe the blurb on the pot, which claims that this stuff actually cleanses the skin: I grab an exfoliating shower mit, slap on some more product and scrub furiously. It still doesn't lather up, but it makes it a bit easier to spread as the soufflé is diluted and turns into something resembling sticky yoghurty body milk. It doesn't feel as though this is cleaning my skin at all though, in fact, it makes me feel dirty due to its gloopiness. The smell's nice though.

Challenge 4: Try not to let it slip away: Twice I scoop up more product from the pot only for it to slip out of my hand and whirl away down the drain. As I contemplate the disappearing pink goo I fail to notice that the water from the shower is rapidly trickling into the open pot (which I've balanced on the side of the bath). By the time I grab it, the water has diluted and dissolved away about a 25ml of the remaining goo (i.e. a third of the pot). A squeezy tube would've been better for the shower, methinks.

Challenge 5: Have another shower (with soap!) to actually get clean. The bathroom smells lovely, but the scent's already faded from my skin and it feels no more moisturised than it did when I got in the shower.

Conclusion: The chocolate teapot of shower products. Pick it up from Boots for £2.25 (for 75ml), but don't say I didn't warn you!

Summary: Yuck