Very well, where does one begin on the subject of these inspired crisps?

It all began today when I purchased some of the aforementioned crisps. I have been researching them for a long while and I took it upon myself to go out and finally buy a small selection of packets of these crisps.

I couldn't wait to take them home and partake of their flavoursome goodness. However, before we get to the exciting part, let us first examine how these crisps came to be.

McCoys crisps are made by a group who call themselves "KP Snacks" who also produce the world-renowed crisps that are ''Hula Hoops" and "Skips". They ally themselves with a larger and more dominant presence called "United Biscuits", who are essentially the 'alpha male' in the snacks industry.

The McCoys legacy began in 1985, their establishment being perhaps one of the most famous events that took place that glorious year, and over 20 years later they continue to rise up agianst the tyranny of the other crisps and snacks, offering a democratic alternative that many consumers love. Their caption is 'Accept No Imitations' and this also doubles up as their fearsome battlecry as they charge against the infidels in the never-ending battle for dominance.

The first thing one may notice about these crisps is their outer exoskeleton, which is adorned with all kinds of decorative colours and shapes. The most prominent colour is the gold, signifying royalty, and sets them apart from the rest of the not so special crisps. There are different colourings for their tribal war markings, dictating which regiment the particular packet is a part of. For example, the regal blue colour (known as "Salt & Malt Vinegar) is a part of the Special Ops division, who deal with disruption tactics often employed behind enemy lines; as one can expect, these are perhaps the most 'elite' regiment and have the most flavour to them.

The price is very reasonable for the quality and skill of the crisps that you purchase. One may pay around £1.40 for a small squad of six packets (although the small numbers, they make up for this in superior firepower and skill on the battlefield), or around £2.50 for a larger squad of twelve packets. Do not fall into the deadly trap of buying each packet seperately, they are much more expensive if you do so, although these can be harnessed as mercenaries for hire to bolster your troops in times of need.

McCoys are perhaps one of the most fearsome types of crisp to come across as you make your journey to snack enlightenment. They have a strong smell to deter weaker opponents, but do not be scared of this as you will be rewarded for sticking through it. As you open the packet you will be greeted with around 30 of the beasts. Their apperance is in stark contrast to their opponents and you will soon realise why these are one of the elite crisp armies. They are strong and thick, with large ridges to reflect attacks. This corregated shape is used as a last resort of defence - if the enemy does get too close they will only hurt themselves when they make contact with the McCoys.

When I purchased these crisps I knew all of this information and so I had the proper knowledge with me throughout the course of the battle. One will find that they are quite harmless if you grip the McCoys between thumb and forefinger on the top and bottom of each individual soldier (crisp), however you must eat them quickly before they rub off their poisonous powder onto you - many people find that licking your fingers after each crisp is a good way to counter this.

I must say that I think of myself as someone who has partook of the finer tastes in life, but I have never come across anything like these crisps. They are pure Heaven. Perhaps I will pluck up enough courage to purchase another packet of these fearsome crisps again soon. I recommend these to anyone who feels they are adventurous with their tastes, but warn those who may be weaker and easily overwhelmed as the McCoys are not a force to be trifled with.