* Prices may differ from that shown
Have you ever tried these? If you are one of the few who wish to take part in a Cafe noir initiation ceremony then please let me know.
Those wacky Fox's Party rings are ideal for the tots but these biscuits are strictly adult only. I am afraid that the mere sight of that shiny packaging sets my pulse racing - but first of all you have to track them down !
They make regular appearances in selected supermarkets, maybe McVities target the discerning biscuit connoisseur, surely not, I buy them regularly!
OK, lets start off by taking a stroll around the packaging. Beautiful! A small shiny plastic packet , dark glossy brown in tune with the coffee theme, the McVities logo sits primly in a nice shade of china blue. The name of the classic biscuit is there in a rather relaxed laid back continental style font and just to tease you McVities have displayed one of their tantalising iced squares, not only do we have a full frontal but a total back view too!
Cafe noir- black coffee, this title puzzles me slightly, the biscuit is covered with light coffee icing?
At £1.25p for a 200g packet these have to be an occasional treat, I last bought a packet from Sainsbury.
As you would expect from any upmarket packet of biscuits they have a good strong tab pull that helps you get into the packet safely.
Often the biscuit that has been on the top has been slightly crushed, nothing to worry about it still tastes just as good.
Just lift one out of the thick shiny packaging and stop to admire it for just one moment. First of all take a good look at the biscuit as a whole, a sort of holistic biscuit session!
Instantly you will drink in the depth of the short snappy crisp biscuit that lays underneath the thick layer of coffee icing. On the back you will see a few piercings that have been put there before the biscuit has been cooked, the makers name and yet again the name Cafe noir appears in that continental style font.
I feel you need to look at the Cafe noir from all angles, drink in the beauty before you even consider letting it near your lips. As you turn the biscuit side on it looks strong and capable, when you flip it over and examine the thick mid coffee coloured icing you can almost comb your hair in the sheen on top of the crunchy coffee icing.
How you tackle the delicacy is totally up to you, you can snaffle it quickly, savour every moment, lick and make last, nibble sensitively or dunk if you dare.
I am sorry, but I cannot condone Cafe noir dunker's, these biscuits are beyond my wildest dreams let alone wanting to stick them into a cup of boiling hot tea !
It isn't possible to take a half hearted approach toward the Cafe noir biscuit, it won't let you. The biscuit needs to be gripped firmly between the teeth and shown who is master.
As the semi-sweet thick crunchy biscuit caves in under your incisors then the coffee flavoured icing starts to shatter under the pressure.
Maybe we are looking at no more than a minute of pleasure per biscuit but it is a minute that can never be recreated - unless it is with another Cafe noir!
The coffee icing is memorable yet subtle and McVities have ensured that this product is totally irresistible. You just try shutting that packet after one or two, if you can then you are a better man than I.
One Cafe noir has 39 very worthwhile calories and like most forbidden fruit they are high in carbohydrates and sugars but surprisingly low in fat.
Maybe these should be issued on a prescription to ensure that you don't go wild but I give you my word that combination of crisp biscuit and mild coffee icing is thrilling.
McVities Cafe Noir Biscuits have to be my favourite biscuit of all time. I would like to call them "coffee biscuits". As they are my favourite biscuits EVER, I am very suprised that no-one has even THOUGHT to write a review about how great these biscuits are!
Now I can be the first to tell you:
On the top of these wonderful biscuits is a gorgeous thick layer of coffee flavoured icing that feels as smooth as a baby's bottom(or something like that).
These blissful biscuits take you on a journey to coffee HEAVEN. The crunchy biscuity lining underneath adds to the pleasurable taste.
If you dont have a cup of tea/coffee(even better) to dunk it in read this: (if you do see "dunking") For people who want the ultimate experience you have to lick all the icing off before eventually eating all the biscuit itself. (May cause a sore tongue afterwards.)
For the ultimate dunking experience you have to place your thumb and index finger either side of the biscuit and turn it upside down (icing faced down) and place only and ONLY the icing into the hot drink. Then carefully slide the icing off with your tounge and pop it into your mouth.
COST: £1.25 (only available in Sainsburys, where I live)
CALORIES: 39 (per biscuit)
FAT: 0.5 (per biscuit)
When purchasing Cafe Noir Biscuits be extra selective to the packet you buy. When deciding; hold each packet to your ear to check for crumbs. (If you hear crumbs this is the perfect time to put the packet down and try for another, as this means that someone has foolishly dropped these little wonders.)
CAFE NOIR BISCUITS BREAK VERY EASILY AND ARE VERY FRAGILE.
TAKE EXTREME CARE WHEN HANDLING!