Product Type: McVities Snacks
Newest Review: ... into buying into its demands. The wrapping, on the plus side, is also recyclable in most places, so by buying McVities biscuits, you are, i... more
The McVities Plain Chocolate Experience
McVities Plain Chocolate Biscuits
Member Name: Zmugzy
McVities Plain Chocolate Biscuits
Date: 03/04/07, updated on 29/05/09 (244 review reads)
Advantages: Superior taste and texture
Disadvantages: Packaging can be tricky to open
~~ Personal Testimony ~~
In my life so far I've eaten at least hundreds of thousands of McVities plain chocolate biscuits - enough packets stacked end to end to reach the moon and back. In Britain, the digestive biscuit has long had a strong cultural identity as the traditional accompaniment to a cup of tea and is frequently eaten as such - a tradition that I uphold. It's possible to live for a week on tea, milk and McVities Chocolate biscuits, although this is not recommended as it might lead to blockages of the waste disposal system. A dose of one packet per person per week should be enough to compliment most diets although cultural influences and stressfull living will lead some to ignore this recommendation. The manufacturers do kindly assure us though, that Mcvities plain chocolate biscuits can be eaten as part of a healthy diet and lifestyle.
~~ History ~~
Chocolate McVities are ancient biscuits. They have always been around since before I can remember. I've heard rumours that the company began producing them for the first time in 1925; the same year that Huddersfield Town won the league and one year after my literary hero Franz Kafka was laid to rest. These are nothing more than coincidences of course.
~~ Presentation ~~
A 2007 packet contains 24 individual disks snugly enclosed within a seductively dark and not too tacky wrapping. Such cylindrical packages you will find stuffed onto supermarket shelves in triangular piles. The presence of McVities in my kitchen cupboard always evokes a tide of emotional nostalgic warmth. This feeling usually evaporates however, when I try to open a packet. This is an often cumbersome task that usually requires a pair of scissors at hand. Tucked inside you will find the design of each biscuit consists of a circular base of wheaty digestive topped with a modest rippled chocolate coating.
~~ Taste and Texture ~~
As a product of late post modernism I would still describe them as possessing an authentic taste despite some mysterious and rather disturbing alterations to the recipe sometime earlier this century. This I believe is responsible for a slightly duller flavour of the biscuit base. This however, was never enough to annihilate the McVities plain chocolate digestive experience. The flavour is a not too sweet and not too bitter plain chocolate taste mixed with dusty sunburnt wheat. The texture is a husky slightly sticky crumble that lacks grit. I usually eat three per session or two during diet regimes or maybe one... don't be ridiculous. They're undoubtedly better when munched with slurps of tea rather than coffee. Full ingredients are conveniently located on the side of the packet and I am aware that these biscuits are suitable for both vegetarians and omnivores.
~~ The Superior Alternative ~~
Only plain chocolate will do mind. There is a milk chocolate variety of equal dimensions that is far too sweet. Biscuit connoisseurs should avoid them at all costs. You can easily spot them because they come in poo coloured packets. The biscuit mass of these inferior relatives forms a sickly goo of spittle in the gob upon mastication. They might be fine for inmates but not for your average raconteur. I know some poor unfortunate souls who have wasted years of their wretched lives consuming these inferior McVities offerings without ever realising the superior plain chocolate alternative.
~~ Price and Outlets ~~
Due to some bizarre economic law their price has been fixed for some time now at the £1.09 mark although the contemporary marketing device that encourages consumers to "buy 2 and get 1 free" is often an option at the major outlets - all to do with economies of scale so they say. Such outlets include Tescos, Asda, Morrisons and the Corner Shop. I have never found a packet of plain chocolate in the local dystopian nightmare that is Kwik Save.
Summary: A recommended munch for biscuit connoisseurs