---Tequila when the doors are open---

This year I discovered two things about my work colleagues. Firstly, no one believed me when I said I was going to get myself and my friend well and truly drunk before we left the house for our work night out. Secondly my friend is a total light weight.

---One Tequila---

My weapon of choice this past weekend (and indeed the last year or two) was a bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila (Gold). First I'll wax lyrical about the history of this marvellous beverage.

Once upon a time (1795) when the King of Spain owned stuff - stuff being what is now Mexico-, a lovely little man (Jose Antonio de Cuervo) and his family were given a chunk of land and the very first licence to produce Tequila.

Tequila (pronounced Teh-key-lah) is made from a plant called Blue Agave which is commonly mistaken for a cactus but is actually part of the lily family. If you're thinking about some home made tequila then you might want to take note that the plants take between 6 and 12 years to mature. Worth the wait? I think not.

Blue Agave is grown in and around a town in west Mexico called... wait for it... 'Tequila'! Much in the same way that whiskey isn't whiskey if it's not from Scotland, Tequila isn't Tequila if it doesn't come from Tequila. (Yes, that made my head hurt too but rules be rules!) Rather sadly, you don't get Blue Tequila; it comes out a lovely warm golden colour.

---Two Tequila---

If you are eagle eyed, they haven't changed the packaging before I posted and you noticed (more probably BEFORE you had a drink) that the bottle is labelled "Reposada" then I give you ten points! Not sure what you can use them on but I'm sure I'll think of something. "Reposada" means "rested" and refers to how the drink is made and gives an indication to how old your tequila is. Reposada has been rested in Oak barrels for a minimum of two months but less than a year. Jose Cuervo tends to be around three months old. Your bottle of Jose will be between 38% and 40% which is a touch stronger than Vodka and generally is the best tasting Tequila going.

---Three Tequila---

Flavour wise, I find tequila in general really is an acquired taste. Jose is no different. It is one of those drinks that you either love or you hate. There are, however, some more palatable ways of drinking Jose, my favourite of which is in a Margarita! Typically that's tequila, triple sec (orange liqueur), lime and ice served in a salt rimmed glass though there are a million and ten different versions of a Margarita. Personally I throw a double shot of tequila in, replace the triple sec with orange juice, squeeze one lime into it and top it off with apple juice.

As for rimming the glass with salt, here's the best method: get a wedge of lime, put a cut in it across the wedge and slide it onto the rim of the glass. Give it a gentle squeeze and rub it round the rim of the glass. Take the glass and roll the rim on a plate full of salt (table salt is best for this, rock salt will kill you). Walla! A perfectly salt rimmed glass! Took me a wee while to figure that out.

---Floor---

The other popular way of enjoying tequila is in a shot though when I say enjoy, I use it in the macho "lets get each other drunk on really nasty stuff" kind of way. Most people don't actually LIKE tequila shooters. Usually you stick some salt on your hand, lick it, shoot the tequila and suck on the lime. Use a nice big chunk of lime and it really compliments the flavour of your Jose. Personally, I would have babies with a Jose served in a shot glass with some salt and lime.

If you are feeling pressured into doing a shot, short of saying no (which if you were responsible you really should) then you could always demand that your tequila is served ice cold. As with most alcohols, Jose loses all of its flavour when you chill it. For that reason its best not to store it in a fridge. Stick it in a cupboard or display it on your kitchen work top like I do.

---Five Tequila...???---

Yep, you noticed that I've counted more than the normal adage advises! If you can handle four drinks, you should be able to handle more than three shots of tequila before you hit the floor. I tested the rhyme with an old flatmate once and we managed to get to 8 shots of tequila before we felt a warm glow. While being slightly stronger than some other alcohols, Jose Cuervo is by no means "blow your face off" material in any way. Other myths include the worm in the bottle which is actually in Mezcal, a drink made of variations of the blue agave. Similar to Tequila, but not actually tequila! Isn't learning fun?

---It burns, it burns---

Actually, it doesn't. Jose is slightly warm but it's no where near a burn. It's hardly a light tickle. Another good point about Jose! Allergy wise it's only going to burn if you are allergic to alcohol but I'm sure you'd be avoiding Tequila if you were. Jose is also gluten free!

Unfortunately it's not calorie free, coming in at a rather comical 69 calories per serving. Maybe that's why I always feel randy after having Jose over? Hmm. Either way, you could have two and a half shots and it's the equivalent of a Crunchie (which I just so happen to have to hand to compare!). Hit 4 shots and you are eating two Crunchies. Go as far as the 8 I had and, Christ on a bike, you'll have consumed four Crunchies in one sitting. You Pig.

---Finish off the bottle---

So, in one 75cl bottle you will find yourself enough to share with a friend and get fairly tipsy. Usually, when I'm not being a bad influence, I come out with about a quarter of a bottle left over. If, however, you are glad when someone shouts "Ach, screw it, lets just finish off the bottle" then you'll easily get through a bottle in a couple of hours worth of shenanigans. That's not bad for the £12 you tend to pay for a bottle that size.

---Tequila when they're calling time---

In Conclusion, Jose Cuervo Tequila is quite spiffing. It doesn't come with a worm. It does come with a handy rhyme to help you remember how to count after you've gotten drunk. The contents of said rhyme are inaccurate for those who are either accustomed to drinking or are Scottish. Same thing really. Its flavour is something you will love or hate but if you like a good cocktail...ahem... then Jose should definitely be kept in your cupboard. Butlers called Jose are GREAT at mixing cocktails. Price wise it's very decent calorie wise it's suggestive. Now go fourth and sample the goods people. I say yay!