Electrical Muscle Stimulation - Not just for lazy buggers, but useful in more kinky pursuits too ;-) (Bodi-Tek EMS Sports Elite 2)

Member Name: roebuddy

Product:	Bodi-Tek EMS Sports Elite 2
Date:	30/11/00 (5315 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Works with all muscle groups and has one or two extra (unintended) uses (!)

Disadvantages: A bit pricey and has inconvenient trailing wires

EEEeee - EMMMMmmmmmm - ESSSSSSsssss!
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A number of companies have brought out Electrical Muscle Stimulation (EMS) systems to help people develop muscularity (for blerks) and tone (for gals).

I bought one a few months ago from Bodi-Tek.
Essentially the system is a signal generator, to which yoo attach conductive pads. Yoo place the pads (amidst a contorting mass of wires) onto specific muscle groups and hold them in place using massive Velcro straps.
Yoo can now alter the strength, frequency, impulse duration and pause time of the stimulation as desired.

This one is black with a red and white finish - more blerkish, probably. There are equivalent ones with smaller rounder and generally more comfortable pads with compact signal generators that are white and blue 'specially' for ladies that yoo can see in any Argos or Index catalogue, modelled by that Nikki Butcher, or whatever her name is.


A Real Pro
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The system I got is the 'Sports Pro'

It consists of the signal generator, with four electrical outputs and 4 corresponding pulse-strength dials (increases the voltage and frequency). It has two throttles, one for Pulse duration and the other for pause duration.

There is also a switch: Sports mode or Therapy mode.
Therapy mode starts off pulsing slowly at (numerically countable) frequencies and gradually increases, but never gets to anywhere near the same frequencies as sports mode. Therapy mode is really like a deep muscle massage - if you're injured, this is gentle enough to really be of benefit.

Yoo also get the adapter, two large Velcro straps, two small ones, four pairs of cables, 4 pairs of large conductive pads, two pairs of small conductive pads, a small bottle of conductive gel, the manuals [easy to read leaflets with pictures [ooooh, aaahh!], all stored very conveniently in a small soft carry cas
e. Yoo also get six batteries free, but yoo're better off with the adapter. (Save the batteries for anything else). All for a cool £99 pounds.


Retail Boos ... [I Mean Blues! Fat lotta Difference!]
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I got mine from Argos. [I hear boos]. I guess I have to explain myself.
I looked around quite a bit for this product in several places. AS the Argos catalogue is available in 70% of all UK households, including my own, I used it as the benchmark.

I checked in several specialist sports shops and the same model was being sold for upward of £150 quid. [Boos to JBS, or whatever they're called!]

I then checked the Index catalogue [EVEN more Boos! Please, quiet now..] as they often try to usurp Argos for prices. Low and behold they seemed to have done just that. By about ninety-nine pee.

So I got my first system from Index [sssssssssss! Enuff already!]. I took it home to find that the system firstly wasn't black. It was maroon. Instead of four electrical outputs it had three. Instead of twelve conductive pads it had eight.

It wasn't the model I though it would be. I assumed that being the same price (give or take a quid) it would be the same model. Bloody Index. The only thing I've got from them that was good value were a set of curling and triceps bars (£11.99 reduced from £19.99 - which was same as Argos's price)

So I returned it and ended up getting Argos's version - better value considering either way you spend nearly one-hundred poynds ["to be sure"].


The Eg
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Following that brief overview, I'll give yoo an example. Well in fact its me.

I'm neither fat not excessively thin.

That's a pretty on-the-fence statement. Yoo're probably thinking "yeah right".

Well to give yoo some idea, yoo measure fatness or skinniness and fitness in a n
umber of ways. But here's one.

I am in the position where I sometimes have a six-pack and sometimes don't.
If I don't then a bit of work (as little as a days worth) can bring back some tone and some definition. Further continuous work (upto 14 days) gets 'em bulletproof again.

There are some that pity me and some that envy me for being in this position.

But really it's the ideal position to be in when providing an opinion on this product.

I really can see the benefit of this type of product. But yoo might need to be aware of some of its shortcomings.


The Fine Print
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When yoo first get it, please read the instructions. The guide comes with pictures of where all the muscle groups are, and is really useful. It's more a pamphlet than a manual and easy to pick up in every sense of the term. [ My ex springs to mind :-) ]

It says that yoo need to use EMS at least three times a week for eight continuous weeks to visibly see new and improved definition to the stimulated muscle groups. I suspect that this is for people in the worst-case scenario, because I saw improvement in a couple of days.
But that's probably sensible to cover all of Bodi-tek's bases.

If yoo don't get any exercise in a certain part (or indeed any part) of your body, or if yoo're not Able to, then this device certainly can help improve tone. No doubts.
It is however NOT A SUBSTITUTE for REAL Cardiovascular exercise (running, jogging, swimming, etc.). Yoo still need to run around and break out into sweat, because if your heart doesn't get exercise, the rest of yoo won't last long enough to show off a six-pack when you finally get one.

Doubly so, because if yoo have a cardiovascular regime already, the EMS effect is enhanced! Heavyweights reading this may be dismayed that the already fit benefit EVEN more with this device - but it's true
.

Trebly so. If yoo are large, then the initial effect of EMS is to make yoo look even larger! EMS increases muscle tone, and soon thereafter, muscle size. It can't burn off fat as readily as cardiovascular exercise, so yoo end up having bigger muscles with the same amount of fat, making yoo look even larger.

[Honestly, it really does pay to have some sort of cardiovascular regime - contact / comment me if you need suggestions. Don't pay the ultimate price.]

There are some important contraindications too. For instance, it's not a good idea if yoo have a bun in the oven or are preggers. Also the product may not suitable if yoo have allergies or are susceptible to irritation. The electrical impulses may cause inflammatory cells to be released / activated in allergics.

I'm neither preggers nor allergic, but even so, after some intense use my skin does go red - but yoo should expect that, and should?nt be worried if that happens to yoo.

The best way to use this system is to use it in combination with a CV regime and EMS in situations where CV exercise is impractical / impossible, like at work or in the car or writing for DooYoo.
(Incidentally, although the system is portable with batteries, if yoo have an in-car electrical adapter, it works better off the car's battery - just make sure the engine is running while yoo use it).


Nitty Gritty
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Now to some of the nitty gritty.

When yoo use it, start off at low pulse settings. Yoo'll feel gentle tingling. If yoo can take an increase for a more intense 'workout' then jack up the pulse setting. What yoo feel here is more painful, and can cause your muscles to go into cramp - so be careful. (I like this though).

After anything but the lightest of use, yoo really doo feel as though yoo've been in a workout. Your muscles, whichever ones yoo've been working, have the same sort of ache
as if yoo had been doing loads of sit-up-press-ups or whatever. Because of this, yoo've got to be prepared for muscle groups that yoo only rarely use, cos the ensuing ache will be very painful - but that would be the same as if you had exercised those groups with manual (as opposed to mechanical) techniques.

It's really funny when yoo put the pads on your biceps and triceps. Not to be sick, but yoo end up really looking 'sick'! Especially on high settings!

I've seen a product in The Sun's TV guide, which is an all in one EMS strap that yoo put around your waist for 6-pax and obliques. Around 80-quid, I think it may be worth the hassle (and the extra tenner) to get one with wires - as they are more versatile for the other areas where they may be useful: this becomes more obvious in later parts of this opinion, relating to the latter half of my title.


Spare Parts for Spare Tyres
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Reading the instructions and manual yoo will see an order form for spare parts, like cords and pads. Seeing this yoo may start to wonder how short the lifespan of the materials yoo bought are. Sure they won't last forever, but so long as yoo take care of them (especially the conductive pads) yoo can make the most of them for quite a considerable length of time ( > 1 year).

The conductive pads have one side that can retain water. This fabric has to be kept moist (better still wet) to conduct electricity effectively. But being fabric, it can also take up oils and residues found on skin - which reduces conductivity. The easy solution to this is to bathe the pads periodically in soapy water.

This brings me to another slight inconvenience - the fact that yoo have to keep the pads wet. Sure yoo get a nice bottle of conductive gel, but that definitely does not last forever (although it's conductive effect is longer lasting and more consistent than plain water).
Generally th
is means that unless yoo are totally nude, that yoo will have wet blotches all over yo clothes (could be a problem at work). The pads work really well when they are wet - if they are only slightly wet, then before long the electricity and heat from yo body will evaporate the water and severely reduce conductivity.

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** UPDATE ***
**************
In some respects, Bodi-tek may have been better off providing the consumer with a powder or formula to make one's own gel. I can easily imagine a bottle the same size as the one provided containing such a formula would last a good deal longer than the gel they've slung in. As it is, to look at, Bodi-tek have done little else but provide us a bit of water (albeit with SOME conductive potassium salts) - the bottle itself probably cost more to produce!

They're not hard to find, but if you really want, you can easily pick up an economy-size tub of conductive gel (not necessarily a Bodi-tek brand - principally, they all work the same). In fact most are thicker and more effective than the initial sample you get with the machine (more expensive too, I hasten to add). Most places that stock these devices also stock gel [including Argos and Index - SSSSSssss!!!], as do chemists.
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So here's the kinky bit.
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The sensation is, suffice it to say, rather unusual. And if yoo happen to be of the variety of human that leaps up in shocked-though-pleasantly-surprised confusion when yoo accidentally sit on a less-than-soft foreign object, then this tip could be for yoo.

If yoo're curious, like my Ex, then yoo're gonna want to try it. She was curious. So was I. We tried stuff that we thought could be electrifying. And the configuration that worked was pads on either cheek ~ four cheeks in all ~ and I'm not talking the ones on yo face. I think she enjoyed it a little t
oo much cos the knob came off while she was continually twiddling it to get more pulsation and power. Being linked to the same machine meant getting stimulation at exactly the same time. Power being manually switched - low intensity .. HIGH INTENSITY! Soft, low vocalisation .. HIGH, LOUD VOCALISATIONS!!! Sweet Relief ... PLEASURE-DERIVED PAIN! Synchronous, intense gluteus constriction ~ to cramp-inducing proportions?..

Ahem!

I don't recommend that - I mean the twiddling the knob bit. The EMS system comes with a 12-month warranty, and is not covered by misuse.

Summary: