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Australian Gold Dark Tanning Accelerator Spray

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  • Cheapish
  • Can't buy it here
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      26.07.2014 12:36
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      • Cheapish

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      • "Can't buy it here"

      As brown as an Aussie dole bludger!

      I love the sun and can’t sit inside when it’s out. We belong together. It makes me feel good being brown and an unseasonably warm sunny day in March or October the best feeling on the face to perk one up for the dark nights to come. I have travelled all over the world in the winter following cricket and so ended up chasing the sun. I’m now naturally light brown in our winters and only require a little bit of sun in April to be tanned. Because I’m in a serious relationship with the sun I need protection. The cheap band in Wilkinson’s is not always appropriate.

      In a recent report it exposed just how much of a mark up sun tan cream manufacturers make when the sun comes out, more expensive than Don Perignon per liter in some stores, similar to the printer ink scam. It’s very much subject to supply and demand economics as far as prices go. The various brands consist of very similar ingredients and the chemical processes quite straightforward to make the stuff. Some cost a lot more to buy, especially kids brands, children susceptible to all manner of rashes and swelling when creamed up in the sun. I’m surprised the adverts are not more fear inducing for children’s projects to make worried parents get the most expensive brands. Then again that may score them away from being in the sun and so sell less.

      The idea with the Aussie oil is to be four-in-one. It deep dark tans like a traditional oil like Hawaiian Tropic but also offers protection like a cream, and the moisturizing qualities for the skin but a clean cooling gel delivery. The hemp bit is supposed to deliver revitalizing Vitamin E alongside the suns vitamin D giving effects. It’s a lotion/gel blend so cool to the skin and the moisturizing tag designed to target female consumers who fear skin damage to their face. If you sit in the sun you will get skin damage guys, what ever sun protection you use. Ultraviolet Radiation is bad for all of us.

      At this point I’m supposed to show you a bronzed picture of my abs and hulking shoulders and gently oil my six-pac but you will have to wait for that, girls, although I do private shows. It comes in at about 12 pounds for 250ml, which isn’t bad for a sun product here, if you can find this brand in our stores. It’s an imported product and rarely available here in the United Kingdom so surprised it’s the POW here, presumably the company wanting to get a hold in the UK through a marketing campaign strategy here. I got my supply, believe it or not, off the London Cheerleaders, who wiggle their pom poms at Northampton Steelbacks home Twenty20 matches. They are mostly Aussie girls based in London and giving away supplies from their sponsors. As a ‘cricket writer’ I have to make the most of opportunities on offer. Sadly they didn’t let me apply it pre-match but you live in hope.

      The oil is in a swanky container and feels cool to the skin when applied. Apparently it’s a big hit in tanning parlors in Thailand. If you slap too much on you are wasting it as it only needs one layer and there isn’t much of it in the bottle. Don’t think +50 will give you anymore protection than +15 and you simply pay more money for the more protection. Skin cancer rates are rising in the U.K. but +15 should be enough to provide basic protection. Don’t go out in the midday sun if you are fair-skinned. I’m darker skinned now so don’t have the ginger fear factor when it comes to buying creams. I’m not that convinced the Vitamin E from the hemp seed mush makes your skin softer in the sun and just a selling point gimmick to women to buy this brand. But it certainly makes it smell funny. I thought Hemp was another name for pot.

      It gives you that darker tackier tan women of a certain age and social climbing class get when they go to the Maldives or Minorca and perhaps more suited to men. Women don’t look sexy when their tan is too dark, especially if they are over 40. A nice light honey brown is sexy for bikini girls. I would say that if you believe the marketing hype then you will buy this but for me just another sun oil that I hope you can soon buy in Wilkos. Sadly, as yet, you can’t buy sun cream in pound stores because of that steep mark up.



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  • Product Details

    Natural oils and vitamin E moisturise and protect while your natural pigmentation tans /