I'm caught in a trap! (Mousetrap, St Martin's, London) (Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap)

Member Name: andyk910

Product:	Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap
Date:	18/03/09 (124 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You can cross it off the 'to-do' list

Disadvantages: It's not very good, to be honest and I'm sure the author would be astonished to know it was still on

Someone once said that the great thing about sex was the even when it was bad, it was still good. You can make your own minds up on that one, but I would contend that the same does not apply to theatre. When it's not good, its rubbish.

The thing is, I am a big fan of live theatre. I think cinema has its place and it does things that theatre can not and I also value TV: But I do not think that either TV or cinema can ever completely substitute for live theatre, for being there with the actors, sharing a space, breathing the same air.

When it is good, it is great. I have seen companies from the RSC to a little amateur company in a room above a pub give performances that were spellbinding - clichés, it is true, but you really could have heard a pin drop as the whole audience seemed collectively to hold its breath.

Sadly, it is not always good. I have walked out of a couple of productions in my time (although I do try to do so in the interval when I can - I don't want to embarrass anyone. I remember the time my whole party of 10 people decided to sneak out of a really dreadful performance at one theatre, only to meet all the principal cast members who were at the back of the auditorium, waiting to make an entrance through the audience - oops!).

You forgive the school production and you maybe cut some slack for amateur home town stuff, but if you visit a London theatre to see a professional company and you pay well for the privilege, you are entitled to expect something in return.

Sadly, in my opinion, The Mousetrap is not good.

The play
*******
This is a whodunit. I would call it a 'classic whodunit' only it's not a classic - it's just old. There is a cast of characters brought together by unlikely circumstance, mainly not known to one another and it will be no surprise to you to know that someone dies and they have to try and work out who did the dreadful deed - oh, and there are plenty of potential perpetrators, too. In other words, this is basically the same plot that Agatha Christie wrote again and again. Most of you will have read at least one or two of the books (and some of you will have read 80 or more) and almost all of you will have seen one or more of the film adaptations and probably one or more of the TV versions, too. Many of those productions were better than this, better acted, better dialogue, much better scenery, brought up to date with all of the glamour, glitz and trickery a modern production can bring to bear, in other words more watcheable. This tired old play with a crust forming on its dialogue, with a plot so hackneyed that it is well beyond parody, with its total lack of tension or suspense - this is not Agatha's finest hour.

I'm not going to tell you who did it, not even a hint. One of the worst things about this evening is I didn't really care. This is not bad, as a play, it is just not good. It looks as though the author might have knocked it up in the restaurant car of the train from Torquay back up to London in the 1930's - it is a thoroughly disposable and unmemorable piece of theatre - and she gave it to a Godson as a gift, probably thinking it would run for 12 months and make him a few hundred - never in her wildest dreams, I am sure, thinking it would become the longest running piece of theatre in Britain.

If you go to the theatre much, you will recognise that some pieces are written of and for their time, intended to be consumed and thrown away like a topical magazine. Some pieces rise above this, having relevance to an audience decades or even centauries after they were written - they are classics. This is not a classic - it's just old. Why is it still on, you might wonder? Because it has been on for a long time, is the only likely answer. No-one has taken it off because it has continued to sell and for years now we have all known that it was on and it had been on longer than anything else, so we book tickets and go because it must be good (mustn't it?) because it is still on and everyone goes so it stays on! It is an Emperor's new clothes event. The theatre will never take it off, because it sells because it did sell.

The venue is OK, more modern and more accommodating than some London theatres, easy to find. Be aware, if you take a cab to the theatre, that taxi drivers have been known to tell you who the murderer is before driving off if you don't tip them.

When I was there, almost the entire front three rows were empty and I would imagine that these tickets were held by ticket touts or maybe the concierge of some of the better hotels, so that they could readily get customers in to see this play. The absence of people in these rows would have damaged the atmosphere (if there had been one) and it increased the feeling of separation between cast and audience.

Before the production commenced, my partner commented on how unusual it was to see a theatre auditorium almost all in polished wood - not flock wallpaper or gilt, but just plain wood. By the interval, we had both agreed that the wood was quite appropriate, as the dialogue was largely wooden also. To be fair, there was nothing in particular wrong with the acting, but frankly Burton and Taylor or Brad and Angelina could not have spun magic from this straw: It's just not very good.

Good news? Well, by London theatre prices, it is fairly cheap. You can get tickets without waiting a whole year, you can probably plan to go and see it in 2025 if you want, there is no nudity, swearing or the like, you could take your mother in law and maiden aunty - but its really, really not worth. Spend even less and go and see an amateur production somewhere - there is a fair chance, better than odds on I would say, that you will be more entertained and for less money. Or spend more and go and see a production of something you will be taking about for years to come. Just don't get caught in the trap.

Originally published on Ciao by me under the same username.

Summary: Age guarantees nothing, not wisdom or talent.