Six Flags Ohio (Six Flags Worlds of Adventure (Ohio))

Name: Cammij

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Product:	Six Flags Worlds of Adventure (Ohio)
Date:	17/09/01 (556 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: So much to do, Fair Price

Disadvantages: Too spread out, Too much Marvel comics themed crap

Hi folks, just got home from Six Rags Ohio. It is a unique park as it is the product of the marriage of Sea World Cleveland and Geuga Lake amusement Park. I also got the great experience of being there on their Oktoberfest Weekend and on "Saturn (Auto) Owner Appreciation Day"

I only went because I got free tickets from AOL. I got like 7 Free tickets altogether otherwise it would have cost me $40 to get in and $20 for my kid. This is on top of getting drilled $9 for parking. But you do get the best of two parks, Sea World and Geuga Lake cum Six Flags of Ohio.

For those of you who do not know. Actually I bet most of you do not know, do not care and do not care to know, but the park is 30 milessoutheast of cleveland Ohio near lake Erie. It is seasonal, open from May to September and has quite a few Rollercoasters, 6 Arenas for seeing animal shows, numerous Rides, a huge water park, a wave action pool, magic shows, a great 4-D movie show featuring Leslie Nielsen, musical acts and water shows featuring daredevil waterskiers. There is enough stuff packed in there to fill a whole day without doing everything and seeing every show. They have a great Looney Tunes oriented playground for little tykes that is any youngsters paradise.

Ok, now that I have given a relevant enough description of the place you get the twisted view on the place that you have come to expect from me.

I dig this park because many of the workers are Slovak, Pole and Yugoslavian. There is just a special place in my heart and my crotch for women from those countries. I pant like a dog all day long as I gawk at these Ewas, Evas, Mariyas and Janas. I was especially distracted today and was left walking around with a perpetual semi because it was Saturn day and all the people that bought saturn cars got in free. For some reason, and I assume it has to do with extra wide seats or extra head room for big hair but women that buy saturns are especially prone
to be with black men. Now my attitude on interracial dating may surprise people, but nothing turns me on as much as a white girl who dates blacks. I love going to Zebra parties and smoking a good cigar while a few hung black studs work over these white girls. My personal belief is that a girl isn't a woman until she has been with a few black men. A girl might act like she is all that and I like to see what they got when they are with a black guy. I want to breed my wife or at least adopt a bi-racial child so people would see us together and assume my wife dates blacks. I just love seeing these mixed couple all over the park and I imagine these hot Slavonic girls with black guys.

There is a new term in the world of animal acts; Animals no longer do tricks. the new word is "behaviors". The people running the walruses and dolphins kept saying "Behaviors" in place of tricks. I guess it is supposed to somehow diminish the fact that these poor creatures have been held captive in a tiny pool and forced to do shows for our amusements. But the lazy jerk animals don't lift a flipper without expecting a load of fish in return. I think they probaly starve the animals to get them to do tricks for fish. The Otter act was a total waste, and the shows always are a total waste for adults, I hope they are geared for kids and make them happy. My kid only sat there and kept saying "where monkey" because the otter would blaze across stage and disappear. Have any of you ever noticed how ugly a walrus is?, I mean the whole creature is just all ass.

It was Oktoberfest and they had all sorts of overpriced Bratwurst and Beer (LaBatts). I liked how my culture is reduced to an oompapa band and Bratwurst. We produced Automotion, Bach, the great philosophers and protestant faiths, and wiped gypsies off the continent but get remembered for slack jaw Bavarian bands and Bratwurst. It irks me. Some old man and woman were walking around wear
ing some beautiful German traditional costumes and had respective "Mr and Mrs Oktoberfest" banners on them. My wife asked the guy if she could take our daughters picture with them and the guy said no and waved her away rudely, so I asked him "Auf Deutsch" and he said "Aber naturlich" and made us take several poses with them. I appreciated their help but it is a bunch of crap that they only wanted to do their duty when I made it apparant that I am half German.

Drinks and stuff are just obscene, $3.50 for a draught, $2.75 for a small soda. When is it enough? $4.00 Hot Dogs.

They had this Bermuda Triangle Ride. It is freaky. You are just in a room but the seats are on hydraulics and it beats you up pretty good. I thought Hamas had hijacked our sub and were going to wreck it. I tried to take charge when I realized we were sinking. I was explaining to people that we need to wait until water pressure equalized before we busted out when security finally stopped the ride and jerked me off. It was a cool ride, just too realistic.

They gutted Sea World and took away Shamu the killer whale but they made sure taht they kept all the revenue producing crap like the games of skill and chance. I won a great big lobster by cheating on a game. You get five metal circles to drop down and cover up a red circle. If you can do it you get a choice prize. Now the people working there make it look so easy but Popeye the wizard figured it out using calculas (invented by the German Leibniz when he wasn't eating Bratwurst drinking canadien Beer and listing to Oompapa bands... shut up about Descartes) and he found it was likely almost impossible to do this trick and win a prize. Hello, ding dong, I did not need to know how to do Integrals with sines to tell you that I beat it. I simply made a few of the metal circles in my garage and brought them with me. Neither worker realized that I had used 6 circles instead of 5. Idiots. I
got in trouble for snagging a plastic frog in one game where the plastic frogs bob around in churning water and they open and close their mouths and you have a fishing rod and need to "catch" them. The kid acted like he was the game warden when his frog smashed against the wall and shattered.

It is in poor taste to pretend you are hijacking the excursion ferry. Like people would believe it, like what can you smash into at 3 mph? I thought about jumping the geriatric captain with a knife and demanding that he crash the boat into something. But there was nothing densely populated except the line to get on the boat. that was bizarre, it takes 20 minutes to load up the boat, 3 minutes to get the ride across the lake from the Sea World side to the Geuga Lake-Six Rgas side and then 20 minutes to unload. You can walk across the bridge much faster.

The Saturn people put a temporary tattoo of their logo on my 2 y.o. daughters arm. I do not know how long to shun her. I just can't abide people with temp tats. E-mail me and tell me how long to shun her.

Manta Rays are cool. You can see them here. they are so spooky like ghosts glding along. totally cool. Almost better to watch than all the teenage biker trash girls.

What's up with all this stuff about not bringing food into the park? I will tell you I learned my lesson. It is not because they want you to pay $3 for a soda and $6 for a small portion of chicken fingers (I did not know chickens had fingers, they are always gone on the wings I eat) We have a kid so we get to bring in a backpack. I loaded it up with food for the animals since it seems so gross to buy them dead frozen sardines that leak guts all over you when you feed the barracudas or Seadogs or whatever is yapping for fish all day long. They give you a paper cone with daed frozen fish that smell and it is 2 dollars for three of them. I thought about it. I mean, who wants plain nasty fish. So I had a coupon for
VandeKamps fish sticks and I stopped at Giant Eagle and bought the fish sticks and some tartar Sauce. I also bought some "Fish Nuggets". I laid them on the radiator for the trip so they were thawed. I thought the animals would appreciate a change of pace. I ended up having to watch a movie about animal diets and scientifically balnced nutrients and why they do not want food brought into the park. I guess a stupid ass Walrus who weighs 1800 pounds will get fat if people feed him fish sticks. I really hate these people.

I saw something that appalled me....yeah that got your attention. When we were in the parking lot I saw a kid get out of his wheelchair and then his sister sat down in it and then he pushed her real fast, running behind her. Then he threw the wheelchair in the back of their pick-up truck. His biker wannabe father used profanity on him for his rough treatment of the wheelchair. He admonished him saying, "You stupid &@#% you still need that for Cedar Point next year". So I noticed this kid won all sorts of big prizes too. So if you pretend you are disabled you get special parking, go to the front of the line for rides, get special upclose seating for shows and people are sympathetic and let you win prizes. It was pretty appalling.

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