Before I start, just let me make clear that I have had to use Fedex on a great number of occasions, and every one has been a disaster, so this is not a one-off rant based on an isolated incident. Given the number of times I've had dealings with them, and the fact that they have a 100% record of screwing up, I have to believe that some of you - should you decide to use them - would also suffer similar treatment, as opposed to me being a victim of Sod's law.

The most recent delivery I had through Fedex, and which finally made me return to Dooyoo, was last week. I ordered a CD-Rom from the US on the 19th April, and instantly started using the online tracking service. I was a little disturbed that my address was wrong. They had the right street and postcode, but the wrong town. But I supposed that might be because the people selling me the CD had passed it on wrong. So I phoned Fedex customer services to have it changed.

"No problem Sir, I'm changing it on our files as we speak."

That turned out to be a lie, and in fact it eventually took four phone calls, each time being promised that they were changing it there and then, before they actually did change it.

Meanwhile, my package arrived in the UK on the afternoon of the 20th April. I was mightily impressed. That really is international priority I thought. I'm still not sure it's woth $32 for something as small and light as a CD, but it is quick.

I watched as the CD reached Runcorn at 5am on the 21st. That's only 40 miles away, so I was getting all excited that I was about to get my disc only two days after ordering it. The address on the tracking service still read wrong, but I was convinced it must be right on the courier's instructions, because the nice man on the phone had said he was changing it.

Well the disc didn't arrive. On the tracking service it still said it was in Runcorn, which seemed such a shame when it had managed to cross half the world in a day. Nevertheless, I assumed there may have been a lot to deliver that day, but surely it would come the next...

...well, no. So I phoned and complained. When I asked them to tell me my address it turned out they still had it wrong - although it really shouldn't have made a difference since the postcode and street were correct. Lo and behold, after I called, suddenly on the tracking details there appeared an attempted delivery on both the 21st and 22nd, both claiming that I hadn't been in. Unfortunately I had, and there hadn't been any attempt.

Now it was the weekend, so on Monday I phoned and started getting a little testy. The first person I got suddenly thought of a great excuse to get off the phone, and said, "I'm sorry sir, my system has just crashed, so I'll put you through to someone else." This meant I had to start all over again. The next person eventually said she was very sorry about the fake attempts at delivery, and the package would be with me within the hour.

Three hours later I called to see why this hadn't happened, and, after spending half an hour on hold so they could speak to the local branch of BusinessPost, was told very sheepishly, "Sorry sir but your package doesn't seem to be out for delivery today."

At that point I hit the roof, with the result that my package did arrive very early the morning, six days after I ordered it. The CD case was absolutely shattered, but that's not unique to Fedex.

This all wouldn't be so bad so far, but it's the follow up which I know will come. Obviously the package has to come through customs, and I understand that there may well be VAT and import duty to pay. With UPS I never have had to, but that's beside the point. The problem is that Fedex will send me a bill for VAT, duty, AND their charge for bringing it through customs. You get an explanatory letter, saying without their help your package would have languished in customs for days, so they are charging you for speeding it through. For some reason though, this charge is a percentage of the value of the item. If I'm paying for the man-hours of a Fedex employee bringing it through customs then I don't understand why. And I don't understand why they don't tell senders about this later charge so that senders can warn the buyers. Everyone I've bought from has been very surprised to hear that I received a further Fedex bill.

Basically I wouldn't use them if I didn't have to. Unfortunately some vendors only give one delivery option and I do have to.