Heinz Baked Buses (Buses & Coaches in general)

Member Name: Yermansays

Product:	Buses & Coaches in general
Date:	10/05/01 (82 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Cheap

Disadvantages: Small seats, No seats, No buses

I’ve completely rewritten this op as my previous effort was lazy and deserving of the number of “somewhat useful” and “useful” ratings it generated. In common with a number of dooyoo members, I have begun to revisit some of my earlier efforts and make changes.

We should all use public transport. Yes, get those nasty cars off the road and we can all become civilised again. Everyone will get from A to B faster, traffic jams will be a thing of the past, business will improve, the air will be cleaner and there will be no more school runs. This is the dream and to help us live this dream the mayor of London is going to charge a levy on cars coming in to London. This will be in addition to the red routes, the prohibitive parking charges and the over zealous parking wardens intent on generating as much cash as possible for their employers.

All roads lead to public transport and I’m going to concentrate this op on buses in London, as this is where I live. I will give a typical example of attempting to travel on a bus at peak times in South London.

I arrive at the bus stop. We’re off to a good start here; the word “stop” is a contradiction in itself. It should read “The bus might stop but don’t count on it.”
I look around and note there are only three people waiting for a bus. This is good; hopefully a bus will come along soon before the numbers start to build up. No such luck, the number of people waiting has now increased to twenty plus. After a while, there is still no bus and more and more people arrive. Finally a bus arrives but it stops twenty metres short of the stop. One person gets off and the bus drives by. Is that a smirk I can see on the driver’s face? This little routine repeats itself two or three times and the bus stop is now surrounded by a mob.

A bus comes along. It’s dirty, noisy and is spitting out filthy exhaust fumes. It stops, the
crowd surge forward, people I’ve never seen before come running from shops and behind walls. It’s the summer sales; everyone wants to get on that bargain bus. The conductors voice can be heard “Let the people off the bus first.” The people get off and push their way through. Everyone else tries to get on at the same time. There is shouting and swearing. The lucky ones get on and the rest become even more determined to get on next time. Welcome to the number 36 during evening rush hour.

Travelling home, some are standing and the rest are sitting. The seats (we are told) will seat two people. The reality is the seats will usually seat 1.5 people. The .5 of a person has one cheek on the edge of the seat, the other cheek hanging loosely over the outer edge and their knees pushed up hard against the seat in front. I'm sure baked beans all squashed together in their little tins have more space. They would certainly win in the leg room department, if they had legs.

A lot of the time the conductors won’t even bother collecting fares or checking passes because it’s too much of a hassle to fight their way through the poor sods that have to stand.

Finally, upstairs in no mans land some kid travelling home from school is about to have his mobile phone stolen. In fairness I’ve not witnessed this but it does happen, kids do get mugged on buses, at best they are picked on because they are unlucky enough to be wearing the wrong uniform or better still happen to be travelling on their own. Most parents with a little bit of cop on tell their children not to sit upstairs but always to stay downstairs where it’s safer.

It’s your choice, car or bus?

Summary: