It's Chaos! (Transport in Bangkok)

Member Name: plappyflugilips

Product:	Transport in Bangkok
Date:	29/05/01 (162 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Cheap, Exciting, Convenient

Disadvantages: Occasionally very slow, Smelly, Some people will try to rip you off

"Transport in Bangkok". That's in interesting one. Having just come back from there, I think I'll have a crack at it.

ROADS IN GENERAL: The roads in Bangkok are insanely busy, virtually all the time. The government seems to be dealing with this by building more roads - tollways - on top of the old ones, on concrete pillars. It looks awful, and doesn't seem to be working, as the denizens of this frantic town are even more keen on their vehicles than the government is on its roads. Everyone in the city seems to be careering around on an amazing variety of vehicles adapted in an amazing variety of ways, carrying an amazing selection of goods. Most people seem to have motorbikes, and lots of these have been adapted Heath Robinson style - with welded scaffolding sidecars - to carry broomsticks, ice, fruit, people and so on, through the hectic traffic. Pushbikes get a similar treatment, some of them looking more like mobile canteens, stacked with bubbling concoctions. Roadworks are going on all over the place all the time, and the building of the new Skytrain designed to alleviate traffic problems is (ironically?) causing lots of delays as lanes are closed to allow them to work on it. They drive on the left, incidentally.

TUK-TUKS are probably the nosiest and smelliest things you'll encounter on the road, but they're great fun to ride in, as long as you don't value your life too highly, you don't mind inhaling neat traffic fumes, and you have the ability to override the driver's opinion on where HE thinks you should go (usually his brother's brothel, or his mate's bar). Best not to hire one of these anywhere near Khao San Rd, as they'll think you're new to the town / stupid, and try and charge you over the odds (expect to pay about 50 baht max for a 10 minute bone-jangling).

TAXIS have the advantages of air conditioning and crumple zones. Make sure you get them to
turn the meter on when you get in, and then make sure they charge you what it says on the meter. Sometimes when you get in one they have the cheek to say "Meter, plus one hundred baht" which means they're adding money on for nothing. Taxis for hire have a small red light shining through the windscreen (the one on the roof remains on at all times). At the airport, you are a walking pound sign, so IGNORE EVERYONE SHOUTING AT YOU as they are dodgy and will rip you off. Instead head straight for the official taxi queue. A taxi to the town centre (24km) should cost 200-400 Baht, depending on traffic. Hanging from the backs of the front seats, you'll generally find guides to how much you can expect to pay per kilometre, although these figures vary slightly since the metre continues to tick even when the taxi is stationary. Alternatively, there's a limo service priced at 650 Baht. Having not used it, I can't really comment on it. Taxi drivers pay top whack for the most holy Buddhist amulets around, since their profession is regarded as one of the most dangerous, so they need the best protection. You can see why as soon as you hit a main road. Traffic lights are often regarded as a mere suggestion, and lane markings may as well not exist a lot of the time. Horns seem to have eliminated the need for mirrors or signals, with everyone beeping constantly to remind everyone else of their presence. These blokes know exactly how wide their cars are, to the millimetre, and you frequently find yourself wincing as you hurtle through a gap in the surrounding madness that you never would have attempted in your own car. Taxi drivers generally have an eerily serene air about them, and don't utter a word in near-death situations. Apparently this is something to do with the Buddhist attitude towards 'losing face' through anger, and has undoubtedly prevented a fair few road-rage incidents. Don't expect a white-knuckle ride every time
however, as the frequent gridlock can transform the shortest journey into an epic, trundling odyssey. Apparently, some Thais even have televisions and toilets fitted in their family pickups, the traffic's that bad.

SONGTHAEWS seem to be more common on the outskirts. They're like mini pickups with benches along either side of the back, and a roof on top. You're not quite as open to the wind and fumes as on a tuk-tuk, and they usually stick to set routes up and down main roads. People get on and off in the same way as on buses, so you'll find yourself jammed in between a few smiley Thais. Prices are next to nothing since the journeys are short. Expect to pay less than 10 baht.

LONGTAIL BOATS ply the waterways of the city, and for a few baht you can enjoy the magnificent views from the rivers and canals, if you can endure the stench of sewage and diesel (actually, the smell of sewage becomes acceptable after a short while, believe it or not). The attendants are surprisingly good speakers of English and, as usual, very patient with Europeans stumbling over Thai pronunciation. It's fun getting on or off these things, as they don't always stop at the piers so you have to jump off in motion and stumble about looking gormless in comparison with deft-footed Thai commuters.

MOTORCYCLE TAXIS are exhilarating, but also extremely dangerous, since you'll be riding with someone who drives like Evil Knevil through some of the most insane traffic in the world with no helmet. The riders could be mistaken for the cast of some musical about Greasers or motorcycle gangs as they usually hang around in packs wearing brightly coloured vests / shell suit tops. Apparently lots of people get killed and injured whilst riding these things, but hey life's all about taking risks isn't it? As far as I could tell, they charge about the same as tuk-tuks.

BUSES are slightly psychedelically painted, jus
t to remind you that you really are a long way from home. There's an airport bus service to the centre and back for 70 Baht, although they don't run at night.

TRAINS from the airport are dirt cheap, and full of dirt. The train from the Airport Hotel to the centre (Hua Lampong) costs 10 baht, takes up to an hour, and doesn't run at night.

THE SKYTRAIN however, is uncharacteristically clean, punctual and user-friendly. Running from Sukhumvit Soi 77 to Chatuchak (near the market) and from Erawan intersection to the Shangri-la Hotel on Chaopraya river, it's not exactly the London Underground in terms of coverage but it certainly saves time on selected journeys. There's also a station near Jim Thompson's House. There are maps in the stations showing which stations are in which zones, and charts displaying how much it is to get to each zone. All you have to do then is put your change in the machines and press the right zone button. There are change booths available too.

WALKING around Bangkok is an adventure in itself. If you can deal with the constant offers of gems, silk and sex from passing tuk-tuk drivers, the frequent and unexpected holes in the pavement, the intense temperature and cloying humidity, then you should be able to walk to and around some excellent temples, shops and palaces. Crossing roads is a tricky combination of assertively barging your way through traffic and jumping out of the way of more assertive / psychotic motorcyclists. Get yourself a copy of Nancy Chandler's Map of Bangkok (but try not to get it out in public) as it's an excellent guide to the city. Wat Po is worth a look, even if you only see the Buddha. They also do excellent massages in the adjoining massage school.

HIRING A VEHICLE is cheap, but you're better off leaving the driving to a pro, especially if you're considering hiring a motorbike (you'd have to be mad).

IN GE
NERAL, getting around Bangkok is easy and cheap, the main downsides being the traffic and the fumes. Leave yourself absolutely ages to get to the airport. In good traffic, the journey from the centre to the airport should take less than an hour, but the possibility of near-gridlock is always there, and even when you're at the airport you could be stuck in the immigration queue for quite a while, whilst one person peers intently at everyone's passports before stamping them. Don't mean to sound like Marvin the Paranoid Android or anything. I'm just trying to save you from missing your plane, y'know?
Keep your wallet safe, and beware of the amorous advances of people of dubious gender. Thai people in general are honest, good natured and friendly, so whilst you should always be on your guard, don't write everyone off as a con-merchant.

USEFUL LINKS:
Tourism Authority of Thailand http://www.tat.or.th/
Stickman's Guide To Bangkok http://www.chopsticks.net/stickman/
Lonely Planet Bangkok http://www.lonelyplanet.com/destinations/south_eas t_asia/bangkok/

Bon Voyage!

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