A strange fantasy unicorn world thing (Northern Line)

Member Name: mpafp

Product:	Northern Line
Date:	03/08/03 (175 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Happy parallel universe

Disadvantages: Black can cause fear or misery

I?ve always loved the Northern Line for some odd reason, from the first time I saw it on the tube map:

1) It?s black, which is a very stylish colour
2) It stretches all the way across London from joint-furthest north to the furthest south of all the tube lines.
3) It is shaped like an angel?s wing
4) It has some of the best station names in london

Here is an in-depth guide to some of those stations and the kind of mental images they create. Some of these stations I have never actually alighted at, so I should warn you that the descriptions may be inaccurate. Nevertheless, in my mind there is an idyllic world joined by a black line which I now proceed to describe.

High Barnet
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A metaphor for heaven. Something to aspire to. I imagine a Victorian funeral director comforting Mrs Brown with the euphemistic words, ?Don?t worry, my dear, Mr Brown has simply left for the happy fields of High Barnet?

Morden
******
By a happy coincidence, the last stop of the southern section of the Northern Line also sounds like a metaphor for death, albeit a rather more unpleasant one. If you are a good boy you?ll end up in High Barnet, but if you are bad you?ll end your days with Morden (from latin, mortus;death). High Barnet, like heaven, is situated up at the top; Morden exists in the murky underworld of the London Tube Map. Let it roll off your tongue, let its morbid sound be a lesson to you, moooooooor-den.

Totteridge & Whetstone
*******************
Here, people in oversized stilettos struggle to maintain their balance as they pass among knife sharpeners, seated at their grinders.

West Finchley, East Finchley, and Finchley Central
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Three types of finchley, how delightful. The lesser spotted finchley, the house finchley...

Burnt Oak
********
As Grandpapa settles down in front of the fire for the evening, he lights h
is pipe, and the smoke rising through his nostrils reminds him of burnt oak.

Tufnell Park
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A slightly under-tended public garden, all the more delightful for its unkempt nature. Tufts of grass provide a wholesome playground for nature-lovers.

Golders Green
************
The last rays of the setting sun gently caress the weeds in the outfield, as the village cricket match draws to a satisfying draw. This is golden England.

Chalk Farm
**********
An eccentric professor constructed the wind-powered chalk-mining device which stands in chalk farm around 1857. A windmill drives a rotating wheel, which slowly grinds away at quarry wall. Extra power, when needed, is provided by a sheep tethered to a turning device.




...and it goes on. On top of all this there is a guardian Angel, and a Bank for all your financial needs. Plus the Northern Line covers some of the most important stations: London Bridge, Charing Cross, Waterloo, King?s Cross etc. And Mornington Crescent (listeners of a certain radio programme will realise the significance of this).

All these were enough reasons for me to like the Northern Line before, but...

[cue sentimental music]

...that was before I was given the final reason to like it, which is that it is the line which takes me to see my girlfriend in Highgate [aw!].

Also, the Northern Line has Tooting Bec, which is the only tube station in London which sounds like a South African describing the return journey of an early motorcar.

Summary: