Perfect Match: legitimised prejudice? (BBC 1)

Member Name: ShoppingGirl

Product:	BBC 1
Date:	10/08/02 (399 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: A great fun dating show

Disadvantages: Gave airspace to a pair of prejudiced snobs

(DISCLAIMER: yup, I know I'm in the wrong category - this programme aired on channel 4 not BBC1, but my last 3 requests for new items have gone ignored and I have nowhere else to place my op! Forgive me, I am mortal...)


OK.


Every now and then, an edition of a 'reality' programme comes along that doesn't sit comfortably alongside the others in its' series. You know, like when there's a couple on 'Changing Rooms' who just don't get the concept, and get genuinely upset when their bedroom ends up orange and fuschia. Or when Sandy and Sunita suddenly decide after watching two years worth of Big Brother, that in fact it's not for them - as the rest of us scream - 'Why did you go in, then?!!'

These editions of our staple faves on TV can be either hilarious or very uncomfortable viewing. Last nights edition of the fabulous dating show, 'Perfect Match' was one such programme, and I'm still not sure if I think the producers should have aired it at all.

For those of you who've never seen the show, it's a really simple concept. Take one long-term singleton (male or female), and then get them to choose two people they trust to pick them a 'Perfect Match' from a pre-selected batch of about thirty eager love seekers. There's a relationship expert on the panel too - she's usually the brains of the outfit - and the controversy comes from watching in horror as somebody's mum or boss picks their partner for them!

The panel bit is great fun, kind of like a relationship 'Pop Idol' as we see hopefuls whittled away and the winners emerge.

The lucky date then gets to move in with our singleton (that's a bit weird, I must admit) and we see how they get on as a couple - much cringing, laughing and occasional romantic sighing later.

There's a fallback plan too - if date number one doesn't cut it, there are two more
hopefuls in the wings who can be substituted at any time.

Basically, it's a lighthearted show designed to appeal to the nosy, match making gossip in all of us. Personally, I'm addicted and my boyfriend is too! It's become our 'must see' tv of the week.

Last night however, we saw a much different version of this programme. With as much sensitivity as I can muster, I'll try to describe it to you...

Our lonely heart was a girl called Anita - a 28 year old sales rep. Anita was of Indian origin, but tended to socialise in very mixed circles, and appeared to have a typical Westernised lifestyle - BMW included!

Anita struck me as very pretty, but perhaps not the most charismatic of girls. She was obviously intelligent, but had quite a whiney demeanour that I found a bit off putting.

Her background was that she still lived at home with her wealthy, but very traditional, Indian parents. Her best friend (who wasn't Indian) and her parents were the lucky people Anita chose to be her match makers.

I should have seen it coming from the start - when questioned, her mother basically said that she wanted Anita to find a man for marriage, as at 28 she was getting far too old to be single. The young Indian men they had lined up for her over the years had proved unsuitable, as Anita wasn't keen to have any kind of arranged relationship.

The best friend, however, had a whole different idea of what would make Anita's perfect match. She said, he'll have to be tall, sexy and white! She was there to counteract the parents more conservative ideals...

As the panel cranked in to action, however, it became clear that this wasn't the right kind of programme for Anita's parents to be on at all. They just didn't get it. They rejected every single man who appeared before them. 'Not for our daughter. Not for our Anita' was all they said.

Finally a real conte
nder turned up - an Indian guy who was - ch-ching! - a doctor. He was deemed to be good enough, and sent off to live at snob towers with our princess.
Jenni, the counsellor, and Anita's best mate could only put their heads in their hands as all manner of fine specimens (white/ black/ professional/ non professional) were rejected without mercy.

Of course the joke was on mum and dad, as this doctor bloke turned out to be far too groovy and outgoing for their daughter - who started off on a very bad note by not knowing what to do with a bottle opener (at age 28?!) and being unable to make a meal for them as she had 'never had to use a cooker before'.

I almost felt sorry for her. And it made compelling telly to watch Anita whine and moan and eventually drive this cheerful, gregarious guy up the wall.

When reporting back to the panel after a week, it was obvious this was nowhere near a perfect match. Time to draft in man number two then...

Only here's the problem. Anita's mum and dad refused to allow the carefully selected second and third men anywhere near their daughter, and said they would only consider continuing with the programme if they could now choose a replacement from a pre-screened selection of Indian professionals.

Hmmm.... are we still comfortable with this?

Then things lurched from bad to so much worse. The clearly deeply annoyed Jenni turned up at Anita's house to dicuss criteria for selecting Mr Right. And it turned out that not only did the hopefuls have to come from India, they had to come from specifically chosen, socially acceptable regions of India.

Are you following this? Channel 4 funds matchmaking for racists?

But the best was to come: when asked why her daughter wasn't to be allowed to meet any men fron the Punjab region, her mother explained it like this, 'for us, this is not a good area. it is like for you, you don't want your daug
hter to meet any Irish' - !!!! I am quoting here. Directly. I am not making this up.

Jenni's lips became very thin at this point but she soldiered on (she's a big and very brave woman!). When asked what kind of family Mr Perfect was to come from, her mother stated loud and clear that no man would be acceptable if his parents owned a corner shop.

Yes, this was on Channel 4. 'No corner shop owners please, we're prejudiced'. Anita's mother was not taken to task for her outrageous comments - I can only imagine that the programme makers felt they spoke for themselves, and that the viewing public would be outraged anyway.

So... back to square one. New men, same questions. Whats your surname? Your profession? What does your father do? etc etc. Soon enough another fall guy was selected to enter the dread zone...

He was really, really intelligent and deep. Oh, and a doctor (of course). Good looking, stylish and with loads of charisma.

Not suitable for poor old Anita then, who couldn't answer his 'rude, probing questions' such as - what gives you a buzz? What do you want to do with your life? etc etc, preferring to curl up in a chair and look the other way.

Pretty soon we realised that bloke number 2 was on a hiding to nothing too, as he tried and tried to make some kind of connection with the pampered princess.

So soon enough we were back in front of the panel, with Mr and Mrs Snooty basically being told that once again, their daughter had proved un romanceable. At this point, all concerned realised it was time to chuck in the towel. The free holiday that Anita and her new partner were entitled to was taken by Anita on her own.

And at last, some sense seemed to be trickling through her brain. She said that she realised she had a lot of growing up to do, and that she needed to start to learn to do things on her own. Which was about the only positive moment in this
whole sorry mess of a dating show.

Clearly, this family should never have been chosen to appear on a fun programme about relationships. To them, their daughters future marriage was a financial and social transaction, not based on feelings or on love, but on social status and money.

Why did channel 4 allow these people on to begin with? Didn't they interview them first? Did they ask them - are you going to be rejecting men on the basis of skin colour? And if not, why not?

Anita's parents clearly love their little girl to bits, and wanted the best for her, as any parents do. But to be told that Punbabi men and corner shop owners need not apply? Hello??!! Major, horrible, nasty prejudice alert!! I squirmed all the way through.

And while I realise that the arranged marriage is a strong aspect of many cultures, this couple gave it such a bad name I can just picture the nations Indian youth right now, packing their bags and running away from home.

Poor Anita - by the end I really felt for her, literally torn between her own needs and desires, and the desire to please her parents. It wasn't her fault she was a spoilt princess - mummy and daddy had seen to that.

I just feel that if channel 4 want to make programmes about Indian culture and relationships, then they should do so in a balanced and sensitive manner. This programme was a chamber of horrors, and made a spectacle of two very narrow minded people. This simply was not the format to use for this girl and her parents - it just made them look bad, and the programme look pretty exploitative.

Dating shows are appearing everywhere, and make great viewing. But they should stay true to their remit to entertain and to bring people together, not to give air space to rich, prejudiced gits who could frankly afford a professional dating service anyway.

I just can't wait for next week, and a relaxing, sexy edition of Perfect Match. Complete wi
th laughter, snogging and fun.

Is that too much to ask?

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