Playtime All The Time! (CBeebies)

Member Name: mreyre

Product:	CBeebies
Date:	19/02/02 (4192 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Playtime all the time, well between 6 a.m. and 7 p.m, anyway!, never need to buy videos ever again, can suit your lifestyle around the repeated programmes

Disadvantages: you could watch it all day and get square eyes, encouraging kiddies to watch too much tele, could cause arguments!

It’s a good job that this new BBC Digitial site was launched in February and not on April the 1st as I would have thought the BBC were joking. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on which way you look at it, the BBC are not joking and all your toddler’s favourite programmes are available throughout the day.

Thankfully, they start at 6 a.m. and end at 7 pm. (The hours when most pre-school children are awake, well, my three year old, anyway!) You simply press 622 on your Sky remote control and Bob’s your uncle. Peace all day! Well, I’m afraid that is how some parents will see it. When I was a lad (showing my age here), we could go out and play in the fields and make dens with no worries of being abducted, etc. In today’s society, I wouldn’t send any child of mine out unaccompanied and that is a view shared by many parents.

Therefore, children need other things to amuse themselves, and unfortunately by broadcasting children’s programmes for all the hours which they are awake, this is solving the parent’s ever increasing nightmare. I call it the “moving wallpaper” syndrome.
I have noticed that whenever you visit friends’ houses who have children, the TV is permanently on (ie. “moving wallpaper”). Most of the time the children aren’t even watching it and flit from playing with toys back to the TV again, and many families eat on the settee these days, still in front of the moving wallpaper.

Now, unfortunately for Lucy (our 3 year old daughter), she lives in a house full of teachers. (Poor her, when she gets older!) Therefore, we limit her TV viewing as much as possible, but since the launch of this new channel Cbeebies, we are fighting a losing battle. Here is a typical example of a typical day on Cbeebies:

6.00 a.m. Teletubbies
6,45 Bits and Bobs
7.00 Playdays
7.20 Bill and Ben
7.30 Bob The Builder
7.45 Teletubbies
8.
00 Story-makers
8.15 Clifford the Big Red Dog
8.30 The Shiny Show
8.50 Brum
9.00 Tweenies
9.25 SMARTeenies
9.40 Tweenies

10.00 Teletubbies
10.45 Bits and Bobs
11.00 Playdays
11.20 Bill and Ben
11.30 Bob the Builder
11.45 Teletubbies
12.00 Story-makers
12.15 Clifford the Big Red Dog
12.30 The Shiny Show
12.50 Brum
1.00 Tweenies
1.25 SMARTeenies
1.40 Tweenies

…….and so on, this pattern is repeated twice more from 2 p.m.until 7 p.m, then the channel closes down for the night. This is when you put the little dears to bed. I half expected Zebedee to spring up (showing my age again) and announce “It’s time for bed”, but no such novelty I’m afraid. Perhaps I should write in and suggest it? Anyway, with a comprehensive schedule like this, there is no need to ever buy or rent a child’s video ever again!

Now, by repeating the programmes 4 times a day, throughout the day, the BBC are actually covering themselves here slightly as the chances are your toddler would not want to sit all day watching the same programme in the afternoon as they did in the morning. The BBC even claim, in their advertising bumph, that by doing this, this then suits your day and you can plan your viewing accordingly. Well, sorry BBC, but my three year old absolutely loves to watch the same programme in the afternoon as she did in the morning. Like most children of this age, she likes familiarity (which is why the insist on watching the same videos over and over again even though they know all the script) and likes joining in with the songs.

Before I describe some of the programmes, I must mention the excellent website (which kept Lucy amused for nearly 2 hours on Sunday). This is a re-hash of the old children’s pages to fit in with the new digital channels. Like the TV, the website is now split into two categories – the one for older children
www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc and our favourite, www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies. This is like an extension to the TV channel, with truckloads of interactive games, pictures to colour in and songs to sing along to.

So, to the programmes. One good thing is that the BBC are actually very good at making children’s programmes and make programmes of good overall quality. I figure that if Lucy is going to watch anything, it’s better than watching some rubbish Japanese animation with no educational value whatso-ever. Let’s analyse some of them:

1. Teletubbies:
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Created by the multi-zillionaire Anne Wood, follows the adventures of 4 cuddly baby-like creatures named Laa-Laa, Dipsy, Po and Tinky-Winky. I couldn’t tell you what colour each one is, but lets just say that Tinky-Winky is male, carries a handbag and wears a very fetching hat. Moving swiftly on….

2. Bits and Bobs:
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If you thought that Teletubbies was completely bizarre, wait until you see this one. This follows the antics of 2 fluffy balls, one called Bits and the other called Bobs. They just have a nose, mouth and eyes and talk in a Scottish accent (for some reason). They travel around the countryside in a multi-coloured vehicle with large wheels, finding out about the world around them. The tune goes “We’re trogging around, wondering where we’re going, we’re trogging around, wondering where we’re going (repeat ‘till really annoying)…do yo knowwwwww?” The main catchphrase of the show is “If you don’t know and I don’t know and if I don’t know and you don’t know, then do YOU know?” Okaaaaay…next….

3. Playdays
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Have you ever thought how strange it must have been for Zoe Ball growing up, spending her childhood watching TV and her Dad was there on the screen with a light bulb popping out of his head? I bet
she was fed up of him at home, never mind seeing him on the tele. How history repeats itself. Now little Zoe Ball’s son can do just the same – he can watch his Mummy act completely daft in a playground, putting noses on clowns in these repeats of early playdays. You must watch it, just to watch poor Zoe making a complete fool of herself.

4. Bill and Ben
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Not the black and white version that your Nan used to watch, but the re-hashed version. This is superbly animated with lots of new characters, including the infamous “weeeeeeeeeed!”. Now narrated by the fat bloke off of “Cold Feet”, you know the one who used to say “Niiiiiiice” on the Fast Show…..

5. Bob The Builder
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Scoop, Muck and Dizzy, Roly too, Lofty and Wendy join the crew
Bob and the gang have so much fun, working together to get the job done.
They’ve got their own website too, you know.

6. Story-makers
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Imagine my surprise when I saw the Cat from red Dwarf surrounded by funny puppets. This is an equally bizarre programme, kind of Jackanory on speed.

7. Brum
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A Midlander myself, and married to a Brummie, I do like this pay-on-words title. Brum, meaning “Birmingham”, and “Brum” as in sound a car makes.
Inspirational.
Shame the programme isn’t.
The old series used to be quite good, narrated by Toyah Wilcox, Brum used to well, erm, brum around Brum meeting people. Now all he seems to do is chase after people, Benny Hill style, with no Toyah.

8. Tweenies:
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This programme has been on for several years now, so why don’t the Tweenies actually age? Surely by now, they should be going to school, not under the supervision of Max and Judy? Perhaps someone should tell the BBC before it’s too late.

All these program
mes, and many more, are expertly anchored by the fabulously keen Chris Jarvis and some oriental woman who I haven’t a clue of her name. They are great at linking the programmes together and should deserve an award for not bursting into hysterics at every opportunity. I know I would. The other day, they made a collage out of bits of paper, and how Chris didn’t laugh when the woman said “Where shall I stick it?” I shall never know. I wonder whether Chris sticks his finished pictures on his bedroom wall when he’s finished them?

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