Music? On MTV? No Way! (MTV)

Member Name: Attacksushi

Product:	MTV
Date:	16/04/04 (223 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: funny (in a 'laughing at them, not with them' kind of way), some crossover appeal

Disadvantages: where's the music?, nothing intelligent, some adult themes pre-watershed, hard-to-follow slang

You know you're getting old if you can remember the days when MTV played music videos. Right now, it's easy to forget that the 'm' stands for music. Hardly any ever gets screened.

But in this day and age, do we really need MTV to show heavy-rotation music videos? There's an ever-growing number of digital channels to fill that niche, whether you're after the current chart-toppers, golden oldies or even classical tunes. With so many all-music channels as competition, it's no wonder that MTV has moved on.

Unfortunately, the content that has replaced the music varies enormously in quality. There's nothing intelligent on MTV, but if you're feeling bored and you're not up for any intellectual stimulation, then watch it. A lot of the shows are imports from the American version of the channel. Many are about dating - with, of course, a twist. Dismissed pits two contestants against each other, with them both taking the object of their affections on a date together. At the end of the date, one of them is 'dismissed'. If you're after bitchiness, then this is a great show. Alternatively, people who want to gaze in amazement at the current slang being used in the States should check it out.

Speaking of slang, some MTV shows feel like they should come with subtitles. Cribs takes the viewer on brief tours of celebrities' houses. Because it's an American import, these celebrities range from the well-known in the UK - Simon Cowell and Robbie Williams have been featured - to complete non-entities (Li'l Zane, anyone?). A lot of the celebs are rappers, and if Cribs has taught me anything, it's that rappers have TERRIBLE taste in interior decoration. Gold-plated toilet seats, le
opard-print rooms, vomit-green cars - many of the houses look like they've come straight out of Ab Fab. Cribs is amusing to watch, but it can be incredibly difficult to catch what's being said. Fortunately, I don't think that the viewer's missing out on much if they don't quite understand.

Most of what's shown on MTV is kid-safe, but parents might have some complaints about the dating shows. On Room Raiders, where a contestant searches through three bedrooms before picking one of the residents for a date, some disturbing things can be found. A lot of children watch MTV, and I'm not sure that their folks would be happy to see things like, on a recent episode, a vibrator given lots of screen time.

Some shows are just amazing to watch. Things like Made, in which American teens have their lifestyles changed as they strive for a goal (examples include 'I want to be a cheerleader', 'I want to be Homecoming Queen' and 'I want my band to win Battle of the Bands') really remind you of how different our cultures are. It's all trash TV, sure, but it's quite compulsive viewing.

The UK-produced shows have more of a tongue-in-cheek feel to them. Screenplay is a funny look at current movie releases, hosted by the rather brilliant Alex Zane, who should really get a job on terrestrial TV. Sadly, the British version of TRL - one of the few shows on MTV that actually airs music videos - is a disappointment.

Occasionally, MTV shows cross over. Jackass and The Osbornes are both hugely successful. One show that looks like it could repeat this trick is Rich Girls, which follows the lives of two extremely rich, spoiled American teenagers (one is the daughter of &#
84;ommy Hilfiger). It's already developing a cult following, and it would appeal to fans of The Osbornes.

A lot of MTV shows are utter crap, but you shouldn't come to this channel expecting something along the lines of The Southbank Show. Just sit back, turn off your brain and relax!

Summary: