absolutely sh*t! i cannot believe anyone would pay for this. the internet is awash with quality porn. televisionx is laughable - i would be gutted if i had paid to see this - thnx google :) just terrible (nothing is shown) awful, awful, awful. Dirty Desmond - if you want to be a pornographer, at least do it well. What a c*nt.Avoid at all costs - it's pathetic.
I work shifts, and funny hours SO my partner bought me a Subscription to TV X, thinking I could come home in the early hours and watch an hour or two then get to bed. How can I tell her her Present was RUBBISH? I feel very angry and cheated it is a second rate carry On , the Bravo Channel is more explicite and Ch 5. I feel like complaining to my MP it is SOOO bad. They could only get away with it in this country, and they tell lies they say " It gets harder after encryption NO NO NO it does not. DO NOT ---REPEAT--- DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THIS TITS AND BUMS CHANNEL IT IS A JOKE. I am sure if enough people complained something would get done, they rely on it being " dirty " to put people off. It is supposed to be against the trades discription act to make false claims, yet they do it every night.
For those of you who have read my review of "The Adult Channel", let me aplogise in advance. This will hardly be ground-breaking stuff, but in view of the small amount of opinions voiced, I felt I had no choice. Television X- the Fantasy Channel (channel 970 on Sky Digital) is another fine example of a subscription only British Porn channel at it's very best... From 10pm to 5.30am you can view the "hardest action available on UK TV", with promises of a much harder content after encryption repeated on a regular basis throughout a moderately encouraging 10 minute freeview (12am). Included on the menu are the hottest British and American films, some "cracking" British shows from Shagnasty and Muttley("Stop the Pidgeon!!!"), Ben Dover and Superdick, and "Fantasy Night Calls"- a sort of Phone sex line with semi naked women on screen crossbreed. Factual bit over for now. This may all sound very good indeed, but it is actually utter pants. The hardest action available in the UK appears to involve an immensly disproportionate amount of nipple-licking, some sort of obscene yodelling contest where the key work is "F*!k", a huge amount of lesbian action, no penises at all, ever and copious amounts of oral sex peformed on gruesomely shaped plastic by either hideously large(fake) breasted women or by skeleton women who desperately need something to eat (no, you sick minded people, I meant food!). The men are all clearly Baywatch cast-offs, with David Dickenson style orange skin, breast as large as some of the women and a Jim Carrey degree in gurning and other agonised looking expressions. Now, before you all write and tell me anyway, I KNOW that the BBFC regulates the content of the shows. I know that erect penises and semen are not allowed on TV in this country. But I also know that the laws have recently been relaxed, certainly within videos and the like, and I would be curious to
know what effect they have had on Subscription TV, if any. And for those of you who don't want to watch, DON'T! It's pay-per-view, you don't have to, but what about those of us who do(more than would openly admit it, I'll bet). As I have said elsewhere, these critisisms are broadly applicable to ALL the channels available on UK TV. Yet Television X know this, and still state that programmes get stronger after encryption. I'm sure you've guessed by know, but believe me, they don't. They are just an extension of what you see in the freeview, which is very little. So how do these channels get away with lying through their teeth about the strength of content? Answers on a postcard please. One final thing about Television X. I had a subscription two years ago (set up when drunk AGAIN- where the hell is my missus when I come home???), found the programmes an utter joke and called them to cancel immediately. It turned out that there was a £12.99 connection fee, and that the contract (over the phone) was for 12 months. Soon after, I had a big bust up with the misses and we went back to our parents and she took the ITV Digital box. Neither her nor I ever watched the channel again, but we still had to pay 12x £7.99 for the subscription. This, my friends, is an utter disgrace. How dare a company enforce an oral contract over the phone with a seriously intoxicated bloke after he has decided in a more clear headed state that what he was watching was sh**, and that he wanted rid of it? Answers again on a postcard, please... I know I said the Adult Channel was bad, and it is, but Television X is run by a dodgy, lying bunch of immoral bast!@*s. This has nothing to do with the appalingly bad content (well, perhaps a little), but heed this warning- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!
Just a word of warning before we get into the meat of this op - if you've come here wanting to hear all the gory details of this television channel, you're going to be a tad on the disappointed side, because how can you take seriously any programme whose sole purpose in life is to act as eye candy for men in shabby raincoats as they practice the five knuckle shuffle ... yes, you heard me aright, my dears, it's no holds barred time and we're in for a rant against the purveyors of porn, the male race. "There are only two sorts of men, w***ers and liars" - Mrs D. Well, I'm afraid she's got that one right, has the wrinkly one, because Television X - The Fantasy Channel knows its audience and knows it well, the warty handed men who shut the curtains at twelve after the missus and the lids have gone to bed for a quick twang of the wire. But let's not become too base and self-righteous, my dear readers, and let's at least attempt to give something of an objective and factual review... Television X can be found at channel 977 on Sky Digital - it starts transmitting at 10 every evening and goes through to 5.30 next day. Each evening's programming starts with a ten minute freeview designed to whet your appetite and get you to sign up with this seedy little bunch for the full night's viewing, which, as I check it on the handset (!), reads as follows: 10.10 -A to Z of Fetish 10.20 - Extreme Close Up 10.30 - Five Minute Preview 10.35 - Extreme Close Up (continued) 10.45 - Malibu Hookers 11.00 - Five Minute Preview 11.05 - Malibu Hookers (continued) 11.55 - Josephine 12.00 - Ten Minute Preview 12.10 - Viewer's Tapes 12.20 - The Lecturer 12.45 - Fetish 01.00 - Five Minute Preview 01.05 - Fetish (continued) 01.55 - Presidents Perversions 02.20 - Ultimate Fantasy 03.30 - Janet 04.10 - Ego Do you get the pictu
re? This is soft core porn of the cheap and tatty variety with a lot of the material imported from the States, but the lasting impression is one of 'Move along, nothing to see here.' If you want to see more than the previews, you will need to ring 08705 220220 to give the sweetly pretty young things there your credit card details and sate your baser desires with some soft focus moving versions of Penthouse. Because unless you are willing to pay (about a tenner a month), you will miss out on everything once they 'encrypt', although by all accounts (of course, I have never partaken of this shallow little fare myself) what you get in the encrypted progs is only spun out versions of the trailers and previews, so you'll just have to move a bit quicker in your dirty little pursuit, Pervy Pete. The naked girls do their level (well, horizontal, anyway) best during the previews to persuade you to fiddle with your plastic, but all they actually do is make themselves look pretty foolish, because Television X is like a Daily Sport for the box and the way they jut out their chest puppies makes it look like they are sitting in pretty uncomfortable sofas, even that lovely Miss Jordan woman, who for some reason constantly wears a tea towel over her head while she mouths inanities at the cameraman. They've got a website at www.televisionx.co.uk which implores you to sign up again, but then points you to another site to get your blood rising with some frankly fourth form prose, you know the sort of thing I mean, but check it out if you don't know or you don't believe me (do you doubt dave27, gentle readers?). Of course, I may have misjudged you, and you may well be interested in the adventures of Dildo Dan, Shagnasty and Muttley, Omar, Ben Dover and all the rest. If you are, why not leave a message to say so in your comment on this op and I will, of course, pass on my apologies for misjudging you. Now, I'm so
rry and all that, but my tolerance has now all but been exhausted and I can no longer keep this up without starting to get a bit pointedly critical, so it's obviously getting high time I was calling it a night so that I can go watch the Five Minute Pre... oh shit, they got me...
Ah, Television X – The Fantasy Channel, NOT! I have seen this channel quite a few times, I won’t tell you where and I won’t tell how, but lets just say it is not actually paid for, I mean come on, you’d have to be hard up to pay around £10 a month to watch that load of crap, I say around £10, because the prices actually vary by whatever Cable or Digital system you are using, with some of them asking for as much as £12.99 a month. The channel can be subscribed to through all Cable and Digital systems and is shown from 12 AM, through to 5.30 AM. So what can you expect on this channel? ======================================= Well, if its some good old hard-core porn you are after, well to put it frankly you’ll be very disappointed, if it’s good old classics like “Debbie Does Dallas” you are after, once again you’ll be very disappointed. So, come on Brian what do they show? ==================================== Well, if your taste in women is “Gigantic and Ridiculous” looking false boobs, you know the kind that look as it they are about to explode into a messy mixture of plastic and flesh, then you’ll like it, or if you like women that look a funny shade of Orange due to cheap false tan lotions and those ridiculous white bits where their bikinis have been, then you’ll like it, this of course is a males point of view. OK, sometimes you may see a very pretty and natural bodied girl on this channel, but the majority of time it is these fake, plastic and over-tanned women, that look as if they’ve had more face-lifts than Michael Jackson or make the infamous Jordan look natural (actually, speaking of Jordan, you will often see her during the breaks advertising what’s on next). What about the action? I mean does it get naughty? Well, it depends on what you call naughty, you see in Britain we have stro
ng legalisations on things like this, there are rules to be kept to and not broken, these rules include things like; At no time must a fully erect penis be shown, At no time must an actual act of penetration be shown, At no time should any Semen/Sperm be shown and things like that, whilst in other places around the world, especially certain parts of Europe any of these things could and would be accepted. So, onto the Fantasy Channel, the sort of things you’ll see on here are pretty much soft-porn and to tell you the truth, I have seen just as bad on Channel 4 and 5, I mean the closet thing to seeing an act of Oral sex is seeing the performing girls head bob to and fro, and the nearest thing you see to an actual sex scene is the backside of the male going to and fro (incidentally, something that does NOTHING) and that’s about it, honestly, of the 5 and a half hours that are shown, the vast majority of what you’ll see is heads and males backsides going to and fro. As many of you will know, through seeing the free previews on the old satellite systems that tried to lure you into actually subscribing to it, they promise to be an extra raunchy and super sexy channel once the “Free-view” has finished, take no notice of this, the channel hardly gets any hotter and the action no more steamier, as a matter of fact, it actually gets boring after an hour or so (if that). What type of programmes do they show? ===================================== Well, most of it is just the usual poorly acted, cheaply made and pathetically over the top American porn, you know, with the type of girls that looks as if they’ve been around the block a few too many times and have bodies that resemble something made up by Doctor Frankenstein and the men are the usual muscle-bound brain-dead freaks with pony tails and sun bed tans. I wouldn’t mind, but whilst these films are being shown, on the hour and every h
our, the channels break off, for a 5-minute “Free-View” and this is right in the middle of the film, Yes, you could be sitting there watching a bit of action (yes, it does happen sometimes) and all of a sudden you are transferred into a break of 5 minutes, the film then resumes where it left off. Then they have the British shows, where a couple of men will pick up an apparently un-suspecting and innocent girl off the street, who just happens to be going shopping looking like a second-class prostitute and she’ll end up shedding her clothes and having sex with them; Yeah right, this type of thing happens everywhere, and on everyday is sunny England, NOT. Apart from these, you’ll see the odd 10 minute show, where you get a Girl dressed up in the usual i.e. Nurses outfit, Maids outfits, etc and they’ll do a strip scene for the duration of the programme, these are actually the best parts of the evenings shows, so that tells you how hot and raunchy this channel actually is, or should I say not. And that’s about it, so would I recommend it? NO and that’s a big NO, its pathetic, cheaply made and over the top crap and I’m just glad have never had the misfortune of actually paying the ridiculous prices they ask. Now don’t get me wrong, I like many hot blooded males and a lot of women (to whom the majority will not admit it) enjoy to watch a little bit of porn every now and then, but I’m afraid that the majority of the woman and the actual programmes on this channel don’t do nothing for me and I suspect the same with lots of others who have watched the channel, so I warn you, stay away, it absolutely crap and a total rip-off. I have resisted in writing anything too vulgar and of sexual content in this opinion, so I don’t offend anyone and just in case a youngster happens to be reading it.
Television X is a soft porn channel shown on cable television and is a pay per night or per month channel and you pay 3.99 a night or i think about 12.00 a month and i have no problems with it at all. Hard core or soft it makes no difference as long as those in the films are consenting adults and know they are being filmed where is the problem. Many people make a song and dance about sex on the telly and they are right to do so when it's on terrestrial tv and not controlled in any way but with TV x you choose to have or not therefore it does not upset anybody who does not want to see it. The channel it's self shows very mild sex scenes and certainly does not have private part close up's or erections,and is more like some of the more risque films you would probably see on a late night C5. I beleive that probrammes like this are ok and if you enjoy them at least you can control when they are shown and avoid situations where children may acciedently turn them on. I actually find some of the programmes i have seen on it quite funny and as far as a sexual turn on goes this does not even begin to hit the mark. Agree or disagree you must say that channels like this should be aloud to broadcast and those who wish to watch cheap tacky very mild porn this channel is ideal and they should be aloud to do so. If it does'nt harm you and you don't have to watch it then you should not have a problem. TV X is great fun for the occasional browse but if your trying to turn on a loved one then get to the vid shops and pick up something from amsterdam etc as this will do nothing but leave you in stitches.
I thought these channels were meant to offer Porn? Well where is it? Fair enough I must admit i've only ever watched the 10 minute preview about 4 times, and I was lucky to watch all 10 minutes. It was boring. Of course I am a woman so what would I know! All i've seen on the previews are lesbian threesomes, ancient men ( no one I would ever want to sleep with) and all these tarts phoning up the Adult Channel number. Now they keep boasting that it "gets hotter and harder after incription. So dial the number". It would have to get hotter as ther is no heat in the preview. What i've seen those 4 times, I haven't been convinced to order the channel. I think the channel costs £5 a night and it is on from 22:00 until 05:00. Or if you subscribe for a year it costs £7 a month. As with most adult channels they seem to aimed at men (or lesbians I suppose). I'm sure there are some women out there who would watch these channels if they had studs on in various situations, but that will probably never happen. So to conclude this channel looks crap. Maybe what's on the channel is what men are into, but all the men i've asked said this is not for them!
Television X is simply crap to say the least.
It shows complete junk compared to all of the other porn channels like playboy ECT.
All of the other channels show proper hardcore porn which people expect, not just two people getting off with each other. This is really pathetic.
It costs 23p a day which you might think is cheap at first but what they do not tell you is that you have to stay with them for a whole year and there is no way of getting out of it.
I think this is wrong because people expect to pay 23p a night when they feel like it, not keep to a 12-month contract.
i know some people think that they are getting a very good deal but what you have to say to yourself is, have i look at all of the other channels first.
if you have ever seen the free previews then id hate to tell you this but that is as far as it goes. what you see on the previews is not far short of what you get when you pay.
The channel tells you that you are going to see the best porn ever when you subscribe, but really its crap compared to the other ones. They really mislead you and this is out of order. I hope you agree with me because if you dont then they have pulled you into a very deep hole which might be hard to get out of.
Some people might not agree with me about what I have written but just think about it at least dont ignore it! :>
I made a silly decision to subscribe to TVX last year hoping I would be able to see a bit more than normal! The advertising goes on about how it is all hardcore after encryption and the best uk porn channel there is. How wrong can they be. They tell you the price and you think well for just 23p a day you can have all that but what they don't tell you is you are locked in for a 12 month contract! The next shock is the quality of the program you get. If you have seen the free previes well that is about all you get. An extended version of that. No hardcore anything. The programs are repeated every week and the models/actors if you can call them that are so old! I certainly would not reccomend this to anyone. I suppose it serves me right for being so dirty!
If you can put up with those dull boring tarts during the ten minute tedium, oh sorry 'tease', before this channel kicks off then you will be even more disappointed. I sadly made the mistake of wasting £5 on pay-per-view. The programs on this channel last about 1-2 hours and are sadly lacking any content whatsoever. These are censored channels as well so its strictly waist-up viewing. To be honest, isnt this why most people watch porn channels? There isn't even a humour value with the bad dubbing or awful elevator background music either. Save your subscription money and go down to your local adult shop and buy something worthwhile. I am sorry but I give this channel a definitely limp thumbs down!
This Adult channel is not really worth a look. It is very stupid and not at all likely to get anybody even a tiny it turned on! Every night all the same programmes are shown.OK,maybe they are different but you wouldnt know it. The freeview promises 'harder action after encryption' but don't believe them.What you pay for is in fact no different to what you can see for 10 minutes for free. So just watch the 10 minutes and then go to sleep!
Take my advice and save your money to put towards a decent adult video....this channel just doesn;t deliver at all. TVX reckon they're the market leader - well god help the rest of them then! You don;t get to see anything so unless you have an overactive imagination you're wasting your time. For what you get it's expensive - I've seen hornier 18 rated horror films than this is. Yes, the women are all very pretty, but the whole channel is aimed at men....what about us women???? Don;t we deserve a sex life too?! All the programmes, using the term very loosley, treat women as objects and not individuals....same old stuff every night. Bloke seduces woman, bloke shags woman, woman happy and content......unless you're a female viewer that is. The thing I object to most of all is that it's perfectly acceptable to see a female body fully nude, but not a male body.....possibly because they think women should be chained to the sink. Don;t bother
I must confess that I am reviewing this channel under a slight handicap! I have only ever seen the first 10 minutes! For the uninitiated, those guardians of the public morals (the Independent Television Commission) have deemed that such channels have to be encrypted lest the ordinary viewer be unable to shield their eyes!). Not being a memner of the dirty mac brigade, I am unwilling to invest £6 per month in viewing the remaining 4 hours 50 minutes per night, but it is fairly obvious that it consists of corny films whose plots are as flimsy as their heroines' knicker elastic. Under the rules, they are not allowed to show the male organ in its full glory, so it is the sexual equivalent of trying to make Top Gear without moving any of the cars!