Don't want to sound repetitive, but... (TV X- Fantasy Channel)

Member Name: angry chris

Product:	TV X- Fantasy Channel
Date:	16/11/02 (9535 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Learning from this mistake., It's unintentially hilarious., You can choose not to watch

Disadvantages: It's soft-core tripe, Hideous genetic mutants are "stars", Long-term contract rip-off.

For those of you who have read my review of "The Adult Channel", let me aplogise in advance. This will hardly be ground-breaking stuff, but in view of the small amount of opinions voiced, I felt I had no choice.
Television X- the Fantasy Channel (channel 970 on Sky Digital) is another fine example of a subscription only British Porn channel at it's very best... From 10pm to 5.30am you can view the "hardest action available on UK TV", with promises of a much harder content after encryption repeated on a regular basis throughout a moderately encouraging 10 minute freeview (12am). Included on the menu are the hottest British and American films, some "cracking" British shows from Shagnasty and Muttley("Stop the Pidgeon!!!"), Ben Dover and Superdick, and "Fantasy Night Calls"- a sort of Phone sex line with semi naked women on screen crossbreed.
Factual bit over for now. This may all sound very good indeed, but it is actually utter pants. The hardest action available in the UK appears to involve an immensly disproportionate amount of nipple-licking, some sort of obscene yodelling contest where the key work is "F*!k", a huge amount of lesbian action, no penises at all, ever and copious amounts of oral sex peformed on gruesomely shaped plastic by either hideously large(fake) breasted women or by skeleton women who desperately need something to eat (no, you sick minded people, I meant food!). The men are all clearly Baywatch cast-offs, with David Dickenson style orange skin, breast as large as some of the women and a Jim Carrey degree in gurning and other agonised looking expressions.
Now, before you all write and tell me anyway, I KNOW that the BBFC regulates the content of the shows. I know that erect penises and semen are not allowed on TV in this country. But I also know that the laws have recently been relaxed, certainly within videos and the like, and I would be curious to
know what effect they have had on Subscription TV, if any. And for those of you who don't want to watch, DON'T! It's pay-per-view, you don't have to, but what about those of us who do(more than would openly admit it, I'll bet).
As I have said elsewhere, these critisisms are broadly applicable to ALL the channels available on UK TV. Yet Television X know this, and still state that programmes get stronger after encryption. I'm sure you've guessed by know, but believe me, they don't. They are just an extension of what you see in the freeview, which is very little. So how do these channels get away with lying through their teeth about the strength of content? Answers on a postcard please.
One final thing about Television X. I had a subscription two years ago (set up when drunk AGAIN- where the hell is my missus when I come home???), found the programmes an utter joke and called them to cancel immediately. It turned out that there was a £12.99 connection fee, and that the contract (over the phone) was for 12 months. Soon after, I had a big bust up with the misses and we went back to our parents and she took the ITV Digital box. Neither her nor I ever watched the channel again, but we still had to pay 12x £7.99 for the subscription. This, my friends, is an utter disgrace. How dare a company enforce an oral contract over the phone with a seriously intoxicated bloke after he has decided in a more clear headed state that what he was watching was sh**, and that he wanted rid of it? Answers again on a postcard, please...
I know I said the Adult Channel was bad, and it is, but Television X is run by a dodgy, lying bunch of immoral bast!@*s. This has nothing to do with the appalingly bad content (well, perhaps a little), but heed this warning- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!

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