If you were asked to name a soap opera, you’d probably say Coronation Street, Eastenders, Emmerdale, or Neighbours; that is, if you’re one of those good, honest citizens who actually go to work during the day to earn a living. Those of us who have nothing better to do than watch daytime TV can add another name to add to the list. It is Doctors which is aired daily at 2.05 pm on BBC1, for half an hour. Now it won’t surprise you to learn that Doctors depicts the everyday events of a busy doctors’ surgery, in this case, in Letherbridge, a fictional suburb of Birmingham, where it seems very few people actually speak with a Brummie accent; indeed, in one episode, a brother and sister with just a couple of years’ age difference spoke in different regional accents!

The show has been broadcast for three years or more now, initially occupying a lunchtime slot, then moving to the early afternoon. I came across the programme in its early stages, then missed quite a big chunk, and these days tend to be a transient viewer, that is, I’ll perhaps watch it intensely for a few weeks, then miss a week or two. It’s the kind of programme where it doesn’t matter if you don’t see every episode, because you can easily pick up the thread again, and as I started to prepare this review, I was surprised, and not a little worried for my sanity, at just how much I remembered of the programme’s history. I’m sure it’s a great deal more eventful than most doctors’ surgeries, as you will soon learn.

The practice operates from the newly built Mill Health Centre, following an explosion which destroyed Riverside, the previous surgery. The Riverside practice has combined with the cleverly named Best Practice, which itself was formed when two of the Riverside partners decided to form a breakaway practice, causing a temporary rift between the main characters. After much rivalry, it was agreed that the two practices would reunite in bidding for the right to open a super-practice, hence the move to the new building, and in fact, these arrangements were already in place before the explosion occurred.

Perhaps the best way to describe the programme is to introduce the main characters and how they fit into the storyline.It gets complicated, so make sure you’re sitting up at the back!

~ Dr Brendan McGuire, known as Mac (Christopher Timothy) ~

Mac, a reformed alcoholic, is the senior partner and founder of the practice, and is married to Julia, who is the practice manager. They have been married to each other twice now, and have three grown up children; in between the marriages, Mac was married to Kate, who was the previous practice manager, Julia having taken over the position upon her re-marriage to Mac. (Mac’s marriage to Kate ended when she ran off with a trainee Catholic priest, who was later killed in a road accident, leaving Kate to bring up hers and Mac’s young son, Kieran.)
Mac has survived a heart attack, and despite being told he must cut down his workload, remains the pivotal partner in the practice, cutting something of a father figure to the younger partners, and at the same time portraying an old fashioned style doctor, who has known many of his patients for most of their lives, being on first name terms. A while back, Mac was tried in court for the alleged murder of a patient (echoes of Dr Shipman here) but was acquitted, much to everyone’s relief. He is prone to dark moods and outbursts of temper, which on more than one occasion has led him to contemplate drinking again, and his marriages to both women have been somewhat turbulent.

~ Julia McGuire (Diane Keen) ~

Julia is the sometimes irritatingly efficient practice manager, who by virtue of being married to Mac, has a huge amount of influence over the decisions made by the partners, and the staff, including some of the doctors, are a little scared of her. Julia found herself charged with starting the fire which led to the explosion at Riverside, following a throwaway remark she made about ‘getting some insurance money’ to compensate for the £20,000 she had lost to a conman who persuaded her to invest in a new gym complex. She had invested the money against Mac’s wishes, and the police suspected her of trying to make amends by making a false insurance claim, however she was later proved innocent and the charges were dropped.

~Dr Helen Thompson (Corinne Wicks) ~

Helen is blonde, in her mid-thirties and is the second longest serving partner. Always glamorous, she has a tendency to wear low cut tops, which are guaranteed to raise the blood pressure of her male patients. Widowed with two children, she was plagued with guilt when her husband was killed in a road accident (they have a lot of these in Doctors), while she was in bed with Dr Marc Elliott, an erstwhile partner of Riverside, who was responsible for starting the breakaway Best Practice, and snatching Helen away from her old friend Mac. The affair didn’t last long, with Marc eventually leaving the practice, since which time, Helen has had difficulty maintaining a serious relationship. Things changed when she met Jack Ford, a locum who was drafted in to provide cover for Ben (more of whom later) and after much secrecy about their relationship, Helen agreed to marry Jack. Tragedy was to follow, however, when Jack found out that his embittered and depressive ex-wife had started the Riverside blaze, in which he and Helen had almost died, and on confronting her, fell down the stairs to his death. Despite attempting to carry on working, Helen has had a breakdown and is currently in therapy.

~Dr Ben Kwarme (Ariyon Bakare) ~

Ben is single, having come close to being engaged to another former partner, Jude, and was left high and dry when Jude abruptly returned to her native Scotland (really, she went to work in The Bill). He has since had a few brief affairs, notably one with Chloe, then a practice nurse, who was much younger than Ben. She accidentally caused a fire (yes, another one) in Ben’s flat, by leaving a candle unattended, and Ben was in a critical condition afterwards, with everyone unsure whether he would make it. On his recovery he ditched Chloe after learning that she had spiked a fellow nurse’s drink with Ecstasy, putting her in a coma.
Ben was recently reunited with the son he had fathered as a teenager, and who had been given up for adoption, and after a tempestuous start, father and son agreed to put the past to one side. Nathan, the son, came to work at the practice as a receptionist, and was also caught in the explosion, although subsequently recovered from a prolonged coma. He has now moved back to his adoptive parents’ home in Newquay. Ben, meanwhile, embarked on a purely sexual relationship with Faith, the practice nurse and during one of their bedroom sessions, a burglar attempted to break in to Ben’s flat, resulting in Ben giving chase and beating up the burglar, for which he is now on trial for grievous bodily harm. It emerges that Ben has been violent before, again involving Faith, on this occasion putting Mac and Julia’s son Liam into a coma, after finding out that Liam had raped Faith. With his past record, both Ben’s freedom and reputation lie in the balance.

~Dr ‘George’ Woodson (Stirling Gallagher) and husband Ronnie Woodson (Sean Gleeson) ~

George, a scatty, but likeable figure, was at medical school with Helen, and is married to Ronnie, a solicitor specialising in family law, and who is an old flame of Helen’s. Often, Ronnie’s clients are patients of George’s and they often break all the confidentiality rules by discussing their cases, both with each other and the other doctors. Theirs is a sometimes turbulent, sometimes lovey-dovey marriage, which has recently been tested by George deliberately stopping taking the pill and becoming pregnant, despite Ronnie’s insistence that he isn’t ready to become a father. Ronnie is currently representing Ben.

~Dr Greg Robinson (Ben Jones) ~

Greg, the youngest doctor is the ‘only gay in the practice’, and is possibly the most sensitive and sincere character in the show. Introduced briefly as a locum, he was brought back into the practice full time and has recently been made a full partner. Greg bridges the gap between the doctors and staff, and is often to be seen organising a night out in the local wine bar, named the Lether. He frequently provides a shoulder to cry on when the female characters are having relationship problems, however, he regrets doing so in the case of DI Roth, with whom he has been working closely in his second role as police surgeon, when she makes a pass at him after a drunken evening out. Greg has to decide whether to bring a case of attempted sexual assault! (Not yet, Greg, Ronnie’s too busy with Ben’s case at the moment.)

~ Nurse Faith Walker (Eva Fontaine) ~

Faith has to be the most resilient member of the Mill. As well as being raped by Liam, she was later married to Gerry, with whom she was besotted, but who turned out to be a waster, frittering away all their cash whilst refusing to get a job, and eventually losing them their house. Gerry got involved with a bad bunch who forced him into using his connection with Faith to break into Riverside to steal drugs. The break-in went wrong, resulting in a hostage situation, during which Gerry was shot, and Faith found herself suspected by the police of being an accomplice. Now, she is in the invidious position of having to give evidence against Ben, who claims to have been protecting her when he assaulted the burglar. Despite all this, she manages to treat her patients’ warts and in-growing toenails with a smile on her face.

~Sarah Finch (Andrea Green) ~

Sarah is a newcomer to the practice, a brash, mini-skirted blonde in her late teens, who talked her way into the receptionist job at the surgery, and who can even turn her hand to car mechanics if necessary. She does, incidentally, have a Midlands accent, and she invariably rubs both doctors and patients up the wrong way with her outspoken, but often well meaning comments and advice.

Well, that just about sums up Doctors, an everyday story about simple folk going about their daily business. It has to be the most unique doctors’ practice in the country; not only do the doctors make home visits, they will rush round to a patient’s house at a mere telephone call, despite being in the middle of surgery, or eating a meal in a restaurant. They’ll even accompany a patient to hospital and wait while the person is admitted, before returning later with flowers, and giving the relatives a lift home afterwards! They mediate in marital disputes, and referee arguments between parents and difficult teenagers, while thinking nothing of solving a few cases for the police from time to time.

Visiting the surgery is probably the most dangerous thing a patient can do, as they run the risk of being murdered or beaten up by the doctor, or worse, being held hostage or blown up, and it’s probably much safer to let your ear infection clear up by itself.

The main actors do their job well and their characterisations are effortlessly believable, however, some of the lesser parts are sometimes badly or overacted. On other occasions, a famous face from the past will make an appearance, whether it's a distinguished performer or a has-been in need of a bit of work. There is also a marked inconsistency in the quality of the scripts from day to day, and I read recently that Doctors is thought of as a training ground for new writers, which explains this somewhat.

So, why do I watch it then, me, a person who is cynical about the kind of people who watch reality TV? This is most certainly un-reality TV, and I really don’t know the answer, except possibly, as I said at the beginning, I’ve sometimes nothing better to do. If nothing else, it gives me something to laugh at, and forms the basis of my last half an hour of peace, before setting out to fetch the children from school and the madness that follows. Must go now, Ben’s trial is reaching a crucial stage!