Slaying St George (Dragon's Den)

Member Name: 1st2thebar

Product:	Dragon's Den
Date:	27/05/09 (136 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Sadistic viewing with quality content

Disadvantages: Can't smell the money

TV - Dragons Den
Reality TV Show - BBC TWO - 9- 10 pm Monday nights
BBC TWO repeats it at 7:00 pm on the following Tuesday

URL link - http://www.bbc.co.uk/dragonsden/

Current Dragons:
Duncan Bannatyne, James Caan, Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Theo Paphitis

Titled: Slaying St George
---------++++++++++++----------
St George certainly wouldn't understand this TV concept in fact he would of thought we had gone completely mad. For a start he wouldn't be able to get up the stairs with his horse and the only weapon required is the word as the sword. A killer sales pitch that would mesmerize the dragons into handing over their business know-how and wads of cash; one of the hidden agendas in this program is the steep see through stairs and squash-ball hitting sound effects that greet the entrepreneurs if you can call them that. Armed with all their business stats and product presentations the St Georges enter the arena where the dragons are motionless awaiting a chance at bewildering the cash-strapped business inept candidates of the realities of the real world of business.

It is easy slaying these candidates who obviously either require a new speech-box or require a much needed work-out as the stairs take there toll as beads of perspiration slip down their sorry cheeks, as a voyeur I feel it's okay to pour scorn on these individuals who obviously are unaware of most business ethics or practices. Most of them almost gingerly waddle there way through a much rehearsed pitch to the dragons and the customary sigh a big relief when the 2 minute sales pitch is finished and they then invite the dragons to ask questions. A huge gulp greet these dragons and without even doing anything St George, potentially the next Reggae Source man is dismissive, their words are not swords in-fact the basic English language is an up hill struggle to these candidates. Do I feel sorry for them? No I pour scorn at their inadequacies; no I'm no dragon, I just like pouring scorn over them; it's entertaining.

The format of the show is relatively easy to follow, yet these candidates are nearly always not prepared. - Candidate walks up stairs, greets the dragons, does the sales pitch, asks for funding, answers questions, either gets funding or not, walks downstairs, greets Evan Davis the crossed eye dinosaur who presents the show and that's it. - For the modern day St George the format just is too tough to deal with. Many fail to realize where they should go after their failings our candidates get disorientated and usually forget where to go, or they forget their sales pitch or they forget to realize they had to remember figures, sometimes the products are faulty. It is like they forgot they had to go on the show and so bought any old prototype model, which was the only non working one in their garage at home. Lots of St Georges ask for a helping hand ask for an allowed second or third person to help to communicate difficult questions that just baffle them. 'Oh, I'm not a numbers man, I'll ask my accountant who just so happens to be sitting downstairs'. I'm sure St George didn't ask the dragon to keep still so he could stick a javelin in it, but it appears our modern day St George is not able to resolve problems as and when they appear, especially in word format. Words that appear in sentences deem a truly difficult task to grasp when in the surroundings of the bailiff hit barn confronting the motionless 5 dragons who just simply ask questions.

The show has seen a variety of self made millionaires during the last six series, which are looking to invest in good ideas and businesses. A small percentage of the deals actually are in just for the people themselves. The mincing of words and lack of actual body movement when doing a pitch makes at times uncomfortable watching, but it is captivating viewing nevertheless. This reality TV format is not actually about the candidates but what they're doing as a livelihood regardless how weird it is. Other similar formats are always about the candidates but with Dragons Den the emphasis is about investment capital and equality, and getting the deal, they originally went it for.

- In the Dragon's Corner

The forever young and smug Peter Jones has a bean-pole frame that towers over many. He tends to throw his money at entertainment based businesses, or pipe dreams that usually never happens, but has an amazing escape clause so he usually gets a piece of the pie somewhere along the way. He is in software and telecommunications mainly, with other noses in business pie troughs.

The ex-ice cream salesman Doug Bannatyne; who is renown in having a 'fork tongue' due to licking too many ices; has now many health centres named after him. He was obviously one of the winners in the hottest Summers on record in 1976. He now has relished his time in front of camera and has made a number of documentaries relating to business ethics.

Theo Paphitis, is a likeable rogue retail magnet who transformed fortunes of Ryman stationers has many fingers in pies namely Peter Jones duo partnership business deals; he is always going on about his 'hard-earned cash and his childrens' inheritance' - or Mrs 'P' wardrobe.

James Caan is in finance, he owns firms and he dabbles with shares on his yacht, when not in the den. He is the new dragon on the block with a good head for reality checks and he can smell money from any fisherman port. His eloquent nature is a breath of fresh-air next to the crass Scottish bullish Bannatyne.

Deborah Meaden, is the only female dragon and she doesn't endure any bulbous tongue twisting animal excretions in the den. Her mouth is her weapon and she uses it in the hospitality industry where she has made her millions. Most of her wealth has been selling her family inheritance, company named 'WestStar Entertainment' - She never actually invests in anyone, so it is hard to know whether she is just there as a sour-faced hamster which just caters for the BBC's equal opportunity agenda.


In business, like in current trends the talking point, or fad, is with green issues. Highlighting the mega inventions that sweep the West at the moment, we are inundated with variations from the old inventions; all trying to save energy. Dragons Den seems to embrace the opportunity of ever greener opportunities. This also is so apparent when going in the Den these past two series, as more St Georges are throwing in their green card inventions and so in return except the dragons to step on for the ride however, ridiculous the green issue, or product. - It gives an added bow these days in trying to get funding, as you are not just letting down the candidate, your letting down the globe. Not fair in some cases as all the dragons are not green orientated, well especially Doug who still probably runs his over excessive CO2 guzzler ice-cream van just for nostalgia sake; otherwise he is chauffeured driven everywhere all around the UK taking care of his Health Centres.

The rules specify clearly that you have to get the exact money asked for from the Dragons or it's a no deal. This helps the dragons no end when dealing with percentage shares or ownership of the company; in return the candidates have to weigh up expertise of the dragons via input and business sector. Toying with the equity is a different task as many budding entrepreneurs are not use to haggling market shares around and they are scared witless of losing the original funding clause. This is where the dragon's expertise comes in as they start counting the wads of cash that comes with company ownership. Usually, the brave or quivering St George looks bewildered when confronted with Dinosaur Evan Davis who is the BBC political correspondent when asked about equity; all of the winning candidates tend to lose more equity than they originally thought they would.

- Look-out for the next series when I St George will pitch my energy saving 'hamster and wheel' prototype, it will light up the room with enthusiast dragons' glee. I just got to remember the hamster feed of prozac.

Thank you for reading,

Copyright - 05-2009 - 1st2thebar

Summary: Dragons Den - BBC TWO - Slaying St George