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Crystal Maze, The
by baby-cakes
The Crystal Maze was a brilliant game show that appeared on our screens in February 1990. Fronted by the eccentric Richard O'Brien there was one series every year for five years. The game is set in "The Crystal Maze" and there are four game zones which are set throughout different periods of time. The concept of the game is for ... a team of six challengers to play games in each zone and win crystals to take through to the big end game to hopefully win a cracking prize! Each crystal equates to five seconds inside the crystal dome.
The zones: Aztec - this was always my favourite zone, set in a desert village, with the sun blazing down (as richard o'brien always says with his hat and shades on!!)
Futuristic - this zone is set on board a spaceship or space station and has a talking computer on board
Medieval - this zone is set in a castle where the host is said to live with his mum (who he always refers to as mumsy)
Industrial - this is set in an industrial chemical plant is it is said that this is where the games were all made.The industrial zone was later replaced by Ocean zone which was a sunken ship (S.S Atlantis).
Each zone is connected by a short obstacled passage, there are balance beams, ladders and tunnels to go through to get to the next one.
I always liked how the host would make up his little stories about the zones, it made it a little more fun as there was always plenty of humour in there.
The team of six people, with a captain and vice captain would face a mini challenge to get into the Crystal Maze, and this could be canoeing into Aztec zone for example. Once inside the first zone, the captain will choose a team member to play a game, they can choose from physical, mental, skill or mystery. Each game lasts between two and three minutes depending on the game and some of them can be an automatic lock in, which can be if a foul is committed or if three mistakes are made. If the contestant successfully completes the game they will release a crystal (which is a golf ball sized swarovski crystal) and win five seconds of time in the crystal dome.
If the contestant fails to make it out of the game room within the alloted time they will be locked in and the team will need to buy them out with a crystal - if they have enough!! The team will usually play three or four games per zone, depending on the length of the games.
After all four zones have been played, and the crystals have been won, the team move onto the Crystal Dome which is a giant geometric acrylic glass "crystal" and face the final challenge. The object of the final game is to collect gold tokens in the dome - easier than it sounds as there are giant fans activated which blow all the tokens up in the air!! Along with the gold tokens there are silver tokens, and any silver ones collected are deducted from the gold total. The team need to collect 100 gold tokens in order to win the big prize which is usually a day out of their choice e.g driving a ferrari, pamper day etc. If they fail to collect enough tokens they receive the commemorative crystal with the engraving "I cracked the Crystal Maze" - most teams received this as it seemed to be quite rare that they actually won the big prize!
Richard O'Brien is fantastic in this game show, in my opinion he really makes it worth watching with his little quips, humour and his bizarre harmonica playing! He was known for his saying at the end game where he would shout "Would you start the fans please!!" and i think whenever i think about the show that immediately comes to mind!
I think the show turned for the worse when O'Brien left and the show was taken over by Ed Tudor-Pole, i couldn't take to him at all, found him very strange and not funny at all and i soon stopped watching as it didn't make for as good viewing anymore. It was only a year after that that the programme didn't have the contract renewed and so The Crystal Maze was to be no more! However, the series's are repeated on Challenge TV and even my little girl enjoys watching them, and she seems to like O'Brien and giggles at him quite often, usually followed by her calling him"silly man".
I really loved the show in its early years, it was easy and fun watching and i used to enjoy trying to work out the games as the contestants were playing. It was a really brilliantly thought out show and there wasn't anything like it at the time.
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Bargain Hunt
by Trampmaster90
Bargain Hunt is an antiques show where 2 teams compete to find items for a bargain and hopefully sell for profit at auction.
The two teams, red and blue, each consist of two people whether they be friends, or relatives. Each is given £300 and a so called "expert" to go around an antiques fare in search for a bargain. ... Each team must get 3 items to sell at auction and any left over cash is given to the expert in order for him or her to get a bonus buy using their sole judgement. The items are then presented to the auctioneer where he gives his own independent evaluation of the items before the auction commences.
So that's the rules. The show itself is presented by Tim Wonnacott who does do a pretty good job in making the show interesting. He's quite a wacky character. Unfortunately Tim does make the show a little repetitive in places by using the same old phrases and expressions each and every episode. These being "leftover lolly" which is the leftover cash given to the expert for the bonus buy, "wiped its face" where an item sold is sold at the price it was bought for and thus makes no profit or loss, amongst others. I find myself getting irritated at the fact that he simply cannot vary it at all and resorts to using the same old sayings.
Apart from that, you find that the teams rarely make a profit, by paying far too much for sometimes rubbish items which has been advised by as I said before these so called "experts." Some are better than others but they are generally pretty wrong most of the time. Even when a team does make a profit its rarely more than around 30 or 40 pounds. But it's more for fun than anything else, and some of the items can be interesting.
Good old Tim will always take us to some country home during the interlude in which he blabbers on about some Duke or Lady's old garments or crackpipe or whatever happens to be in there at the time. It's not always dull but just never really seems to vary. You may get a castle if you're lucky. Also like many other reality programs, some scenes can be pretty cringe inducing, what with the narrator constantly cracking puns on every item that goes to auction in what it will collect. Ie if it's a boat will it "sail through the auction" or if its say an old walking cane "lets hope it will climb to the top of the auction." Ok sometimes its amusing, but please not every damn item.
All in all, an entertaining show regardless of its flaws and a good lunchtime light-hearted program.
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Celebrity Juice
by bishopview
I have to admit, there is something about the character Keith Lemon which makes me howl with laughter. I just find his whole persona hysterically funny. So when I heard that this topical, comedy gameshow called Celebrity Juice was on tv I just had to watch it. I was not disappointed. This show is currently in it's third series and it's ... humour and ability to make me cry with laughter is relentless.
Lee Francis is such a clever artist. He has the ability to create characters which will certainly make an impression on you. His first lot of characters involved Avid marion and Bo selecta. Now I hated these characters with a passion and found them stupid rather than funny. But his newer character Keith Lemon is a scream. He has bleached blonde hair and is so cheesy but his strong regional accent coupled with his witty one liners makes him a very funny character.
The show has two team captains, in the shape of the beautiful Holly wiloughby and Fern Cotton. Who Lemon refers to as Holly willobooby and Dot Cotton. Every week they have celebrity panelists who make up the rest of the team. A regular on Fern's team is Rufus Hound who I quite like as I think he is very sharp witted.
The celebrity guests usually comprise of a pop star or tv soapstar. Lemon is relentless in his teasing of them. I have found when watching this show that the celebrities really get into the whole fun of the show and are not afraid to make fools of themselves.
Basically, the show comprises of a series of rounds. These are very diverse. One of the rounds is called Jed would or Jed wouldn't. Where Lemon shows a picture of a celebrity and asks the panel if they think that Jed would or wouldn't do Jiggy with them. Now for those who haven't seen the show I am sure you will think what a vile load of nonsense. But when you watch this within the context of the show it is really very humerous.
The other rounds comprise of a lineup of people coming onto the stage and the celerity guests having to recognise which one was once in a pop group or some obscure show. Again this may sound lame, but when this is coupled with quick fire banter, it really makes for laugh out loud television. I love the way that Lemon will say things about celebrities which will make you gasp, I don't know how he gets away with half of it but he does!! I also love his sayings such as bang tidy which again makes me smile.
This half hour show, is nothing more than a chance for celebs to meet up and have half an hour of sheer fun and nonsense. The quiz element of the show is just a guise for these celebs to take the mick and have a ball. I think it is the sheer fun factor that makes this show compulsive viewing for me. I know when I turn on this show, I am in for a really good laugh.
I appreciate that this level of humour is quite crude in parts and coupled with quite offensive language could indeed offend some viewers. Infact If it were anyone but Keith Lemon I dont think I would find this show exceptionally appealing. But Lemon is so cheeky that with him running the show it just seems to work so well.
One of the funniest things I have ever seen on national television is when Keith Lemon is chasing Vern troyer (mini me in the Ausin Powers films) around the set like a giant dinosaur. I was actually in a ball on the floor laughing my head off.
So, In my opinion this has got to me one of the funniest shows on television. It's banter between the guests and Lemon is first class and the chemistry between the two team captains helps to make this show seem true and not staged. I love this comedy quiz with a passion and I would recommend you give it a try as it is very funny indeed.
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