Alan, Tommy, and that Other Pair . . . (Ground Force)

Member Name: Aspen

Product:	Ground Force
Date:	26/05/01 (405 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Great entertainment, good ideas, increases awareness of gardening and the garden.

Disadvantages: Makes it all look too easy (and too cheap!!)

. . . . Charlie and Will – what did you think I meant?

And already you’re wondering if this is going to be a sensible, useful review, or if Aspen’s going to take the piddle out of Ground Farce. The answer, hopefully, is a bit of both. But we can’t do Ground Farce in completely serious mode.

Oops! Already, I’ve set the wrong tone, and offended GF fans the planet oe’r!

Don’t jump to the wrong conclusion, though. I watch GF avidly. Which is quite something. ‘Cos I’m not a telly person. In fact, if it’s on at all, it is usually as moving wallpaper or white noise. Although the geriatric JR does rather like Animal Hospital. She picks up attention-seeking tips, like how to choke on your Pedigree Chum with Kangaroo Cuts and added Wallaby, thereby gaining your lord and master’s undivided attention for a few puke-ridden moments. Sorry if you’ve just eaten.

But apart from the mandatory weather forecast, GF is the one thing I try not to miss. Because I love it and hate it.

I suppose I should act responsibly, and give you the low-down on the prog, although if you are reading this, you will probably know all about it already, and the last thing I want to do is bore you - knowingly. Boring you unintentionally is OK, ‘cos it’s not on my conscience.

The legendary Alan Titchmarsh, who became legendary after the untimely deaths of Percy Thrower and Geoff Hamilton, gathered three unknowns (yes, three!), and rose like a Phoenix from the ashes of a proper gardeners’ crematorium to household-name status, by doing the impossible to the impossible in an impossibly short time.

The concept of the programme is to get rid of the (sad, neglected, overgrown, uninspired) garden’s owner for two days on some pretext, and in the meantime, lovely Alan et al will carry out a complete transformation, courtesy of the TV licence-payer.


This is achieved by recruiting neighbours/friends/family/TV extras/sundry debtors/camera crew to assist the GF team in accomplishing this phenomenal against-the-clock result.

The GF team are:

The ubiquitous Alan Titchmarsh, wannabe novelist and Songs of Praise presenter, and pretty knowledgeable horticulturist to boot.

Charlie Dimmock – water garden specialist, garden centre owner, (almost) topless calendar model and famous cardboard cut-out.

Tommy Walsh – builder extraordinaire, jack-of-all-trades, and of –the-lad, cheeky stereotyped Cockney chappie, and compulsive wearer of shorts (except in the one prog recorded in Aberdeenshire, where they all wore thermals).

and (thirdly) Will. He gets a credit at the end of the programme. Why so little credit in it? He can mix cement like nobody. I’d give him a job tomorrow. Let’s form a Will fanclub. The unsung hero of Ground Farce.

Oh, sod it! You know what it’s all about. Let’s move on while we’re still all awake.

This is the structured bit.


I LIKE GROUND FORCE BECAUSE:

1. The presenters, although they have sold their souls to telly, are all experts in their own field. They have made the enviable transition from knowledgeable tradesperson to media guru. Alan and Charlie are real gardeners. Tommy is a real builder. And they have the ability to impart their skills to we viewers, via some fun and frolic. So we are entertained and amused. And only afterwards, we realise we have learned something.
2. GF brings ideas, and the potential of the garden, to everyone. Despite its entertainment-ish approach, it is still a “how-to” programme, and even cynical old hands like me learn a few things now and again.
3. It offers sound horticultural advice, and good horticultural practice, although if you blink you may miss it.
4. GF has, more than any other gardening programme, popular
ised and de-mystified a subject which is both my job and my hobby. That can’t be bad.


I DON’T LIKE GROUND FORCE BECAUSE:

1. It encourages people to tackle things beyond their competence, because clever editing makes it seem so easy.
2. It undervalues gardening work, by flashing up on screen ONLY the costs of materials used. On average, in carrying out a garden makeover of the sort depicted, materials are one third of the cost and labour is two thirds. Sadly, this has come as a bit of a shock to some prospective clients of mine, and in the trade, is why GF is pretty much universally hated!
3. It tries to be instant, by using mature plants which cost an arm and a leg, when a little patience (we are working with nature after all), will do the job much more economically. And what they don’t tell you is, younger and smaller plants have a much higher survival rate than the instant specimens they love to use.


So there. I’ve tried to do the balanced thing.

Watch it and be entertained. Don’t believe all you see. If you want serious gardening information, watch Gardener’s World. Yes, I know that’s Titchmarsh too. I do rate him. He knows his onions. Better still, watch the Beechgrove Garden, although I appreciate that most of you will not have the technology to receive this essentially Scottish horticultural treat.

Whatever you do, watch only gardening programmes presented by gardeners. There are far too many wannabe TV presenters doing gardening progs these days, because it’s the in thing to do.

Avoid Monty Don like the plague.

Summary: