Permatanned Chat (Katie and Peter: Unleashed)

Member Name: Zmugzy

Product:	Katie and Peter: Unleashed
Date:	08/11/07 (412 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Erm... let me think...

Disadvantages: Too much orange

'Katie and Peter: Unleashed' is promoted by ITV as the debut chat show of 'Britain's favourite couple ' in which they will be interviewing a "glittering array of celebrity guests". Viewers are invited to switch on each week to "find out who the showbiz duo will be grilling in the confines of their very own studio". Apparently the first show captured 1.08m viewers (5.71% share), making it ITV's most-watched show that week.

Both Katie and Pete, or 'Dosh and Pecs' as they're affectionately known, look well presented and in the best of health. Last week they were both well turned out in matching shocking pink outfits. Pete appears as his usual chirpy perma-tanned self and Katie (in a lighter perma-tan) seems to have lost weight, apart that is in the vicinity of her chest behind which the rest of her seems to be shrinking into some female version of Gollum. But to be fair, in an earlier behind the scenes excerpt about the show she did mention how she intends to have her boobs reduced and later have the old implants put on E-bay (who wouldn't love to get their hands on them?) - although only a percentage of the money raised will go to charity.

They perform in front of a small audience, probably the maximum they can handle. The last programme bore witness to Pete and Kate discussing that subject of great national importance: the reunification of the Spice Girls. On the same show the 'vivacious comedy actress' Cleo Rocos made an appearance, still trying to revitalise her career after her disastrous Celebrity Big Brother debacle. We we're entertained by a quite funny excerpt from one of her appearances on the Kenny Everett Show. This was the funniest part of the show. There was also an appearance by Craig David (Craig who?) who dropped by to promote his new single and sit on a vibrating chair. That lad's not the same without his kestrel.

Apart from studio guests there is the weekly tongue in cheek competition in which Katie and Peter go head-to-head in their 'cheeky weekly challenge'. In the last episode they had a go at life painting with the help of two lean and scantily clad models. Pete won that one, but it was a sad site to watch. There was an even sadder tattoo competition where one male entrant had an eye tattooed on each of his buttocks. There were also some amateurish pre-recorded candid-camera style moments of Pete interviewing perplexed members of the public out on the street.

Pete and Katie's presentation in the studio isn't polished as you might expect. I suppose it doesn't have to be and to be fair they are beginners. Pete is the more opinionated of the two and seems to be able to offer a more in depth analysis albeit a little fragmented and disjointed. He appears to have the higher intellect, although that is hardly an achievement. With a little more training who knows... he might get a job on as a TV presenter in Australia (sorry ozzies). Katie makes appropriate comments and asks questions on the show, no doubt prompted to do so through an ear piece, but she is certainly out of her depth here as a TV presenter. Katie has a tendency to butt in with lewd remarks whilst Pete is doing his in depth analysis. Whilst talking about the Spice Girls, Kate referred to the one Pete sh**ged, and kept asking if he' sh**ged any others. She then called him a dirt bag. Come on Katie love... Pete can't be a dirt bag if he's with you.

Apparently Katie also keeps having a go at some of her contemporary female B and C list celebrities. In particular Victoria Beckham: Below are a few memorable quotes from previous shows:

On Victoria Beckham she says: "Her skin has always been bad. If she looks rough, she shouldn't go out like it. She craves attention. What is she without David? Name me five things she's done apart from The Spice Girls and a pair of jeans and a perfume?" What else is there for a B list lifestyle? To be fair, in the show Katie did say afterwards that she admired all of the Spice girls for what they've achieved.

Katie thinks Madonna is "very fit", but "a bit too muscular in some pictures". That's a fair comment I would say, Madonna does have muscles, it can't be denied, especially in the upper arms and jaw area.

She even has a dig at Dannii Minogue (who wouldn't?): "Her Botox makes her look frozen". Well I happen to agree with Katie here; Kylie's sibling does have a tendency to over-stare with a frozen look of horror on the X factor panel, as if she's just seen Simon Cowell pull his pants down. In fact it's remarkably similar frozen look that Arlene Phillips has on 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

Such remarks have led to accusations of bitchiness on the part of our Katie. I for one am appalled that anyone could ever slag off our Katie in such a way. Surely she's doing it all in jest. It's just that her little jibes are said with such a straight face and 'frozen look' that it's understandable if some viewers might think that she's being serious. However, what I found utterly fascinating was the look on Pete's face when she made those lewd remarks towards him. He did at time's appear slightly irritated. One assumes though that it is all just an act, a bit of telly banter for the viewers and TV audience.

Unless you're tuning in to this show from an anthropological point of view (as I do) then this is certainly enthralling television for the intellectually challenged. This is not just 'trash TV', this is trashy 'trash TV' with a perma-tan glow.



Katie and Peter: Unleashed - ITV2, Friday, 9pm.

If you miss one of their shows, dedicated viewers can watch the catch up at:
http://www.itv.com/Entertainment/chatandtalent/Ka tiePeterUnleashed/default.html

Summary: Raunchy B-list celebrity chat show for the intellectually challenged