Kirsty and Phil; your time has come (Location Location Location)

Member Name: jalfredprufrock

Product:	Location Location Location
Date:	17/06/09 (93 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Schedenfreude (look it up)

Disadvantages: You may still want to kick them

Location, Location, Location (or just 'Location' as it shall henceforth be referred to in order to stave off RSI) is a perfect example of a show that has finally found its' raison d'etre (or 'raisin deter' as my spell check is trying to insist!).

When it was just pure, unadulterated property porn it was something I'd stick cocktail sticks in my eyes to avoid watching. Why? Well...where to begin?

Firstly, there's something just excruciatingly self-satisfied about the 'wholesome' toothy twosome of Kirsty and Phil. The way they could hardly stop themselves from gurning wildly into the camera and the squirming sense of self satisfaction they exuded, induced by the knowledge of just how clever they were. "Look", they seemed to be saying, "You're all plebs and couldn't possibly know anything about something as complicated as finding somewhere to live. We're incredibly posh and have made oodles of money from speculating with the old trust fund, so why don't you let us show you how it's done?"
Then there were the ghastly people who they chose to drag around Bristol or Newcastle or whichever town they chose to Blitzkrieg with their smugness that particular week. Nobody ever wanted to buy the houses they saw of course...in fact I can't recall a single transaction take place on the odd occasion I watched. No, the real reason they were there was to; a) get their faces on the telly, a primary objective of any vacuous wannabe yuppie, and b) tell the world that they had two gazillion pounds to spend on a loft conversion in Walthamstow.
But mostly I think I hated this programme because it helped to ramp up the property market, which in turn artificially inflated the economy and fed the avarice and stupidity of the banks and their poor, misguided deluded customers who rushed headlong over the cliffs into the pit of debt in search of the dream. The dream that Kirsty and Phil promised could be theirs as they beckoned them in and led them by the hand around a succession of tacky terraces and sickly semis.

Ah yes...the 'credit crunch'. Or 'downturn' or 'recession' or whatever you want to call it. Don't look so clever now Phil and Kirsty do you?

But here is where we come to the reason why it's now fun to tune in. You see, the world's going to Hell in a handcart but the producers just can't stop churning this stuff out because they don't know what else to do. So now we can see the sweat on their brows as they try desperately...oh so desperately to persuade some poor sap that this might actually be a good time to chain himself to a five hundred year mortgage for a two-up two-down. And sometimes I swear you can actually see a flicker of fear through the painted on grins as if they're both aware that at any time they're about to be rumbled for the charlatans they are. They rode the bandwagon when the living was high, and now that it's out of control and hurtling downhill fast, they just can't get off because they don't know anything else. The sense of schadenfreude is just delicious.

And now Kirsty has dumped Phil to tell us all how to beat the credit crunch she actually helped to create by teaching us to knit our own jam, or whittle an oven.

So yes, now is the time to watch this god-awful show, in order to wallow in how stupid the gruesome twosome look still peddling a message that left town a long time ago.

Enjoy.

Summary: Don't forget to say a silent prayer for all those impoverished estate agents out there