Most Horrible (Most Haunted)

Member Name: little_pandora

Product:	Most Haunted
Date:	07/03/05 (797 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Funny if you've got the brains to see through it

Disadvantages: Derek Acorah, Contrived/not at all scary/badly written etc etc etc, My mum makes me watch it

When I was 7 years old, my little obssession with all things paranormal began to form. For a child, I was surprisingly morbid, reading anything I could find related to ghosties, vampires, monsters and ghouls. I even wrote an uproariously funny short story titled 'And the Strange Thing was that Joan was Still Alive...' Uh huh, I was a straaaaange kiddie. Thankfully, this phase of mine passed, and I'm quite sure I could be described as a thoroughly rounded individual in my new adulthood. HOWEVER. How could I resist, even against the bonds of my rationality and level-headedness, when I saw Living TV's 'Most Haunted' advertised. Some small scrap of that long lost hobby ignited when I saw the brief TV spots of Yvette Fielding screaming so hard I thought her vocal chords were going to snap. And so, when it began it's Tuesday night showings, I settled down to give it a try, and oh dear lord, am I glad I did, had I not I would have missed out on ranting about how bad this program really is!

'Most Haunted' was initially a half-hour program, which seemed adequate enough at the time, I'm sure. The twenty odd minutes or so of 'night vigils' were both scary and amusing enough to keep the audiences' interest alive. However, after a couple of series like so, when the show popularity had increased (for some reason) and secured a solid fanbase, the producers decided an hour long show might be better. I tend to disagree, as the extra half-hour bores with a lengthier introduction/conclusion segment of the show. 40 mins is devoted to the investigation itself, and then we are treated to the only decent thing about this show, i.e. a nicely balanced 'review' by a rather cynical parapsychologist, which helps add some credibility.

Presenter Yvette Fielding (of Blue Peter fame...well, semi-fame at least) is a rather hilarious choice as the face of a 'serious documentational program', in my humble opinion. The biggest scaredy-cat to ever grave our television screens, she jumps at merest indication of anything paranormal and frequently causes mayhem by screaming and running about like an ape on speed (scuse my dreadful imagery!). This, luckily, is not to the show's detriment. If anything, it makes you laugh, though this isn't exactly their aim, so I guess the producers would view this as a disadvantage.

Probably just as funny is 'phsycic medium' Derek Acorah, resident actor extraordinaire (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, yeah right). I'm sorry if I'm offending any firm believers out there, but this man is, in my opinion, the biggest SHAM. His atrocious acting and recently more and more frequent 'possessions' completely take away from the desired tone of this show. It is his presence that, I feel, makes many people switch the channel in snorting derision. He is the most negative aspect of this program, and I feel it would gain far more credibility with a less extravagant (or lying idiot) medium. May I suggest Colin Fry? Ha ha.

The rest of this show manages to remain entirely unenjoyable. When the program finally reaches the 'lone vigil' section, otherwise known as the 'send away the easily scared crew members to the scariest parts of the house so they can scream a lot, thus creating better TV' section, there is little improvement. Over the years there have been SOME scary events (take poor Stuart standing frozen in fear as a steel barrell rolls into the room by itself,. then rolls right on out again!), but also some very funny ones. A rather unforgettable episode saw Yvette Fielding jumping three feet into the air because the fridge HUMMED...I mean, geezo! This section maintains the interest of the more vacuous viewers out there by playing on a sense of anticipation, e.g. frequently the last words of Yvette's voice-over before a commercial break go something along the lines of 'If only we knew that very soon we would experience the most frightening event of Most Haunted so far....' DUM DUM DUUUUUM! I can assure you, they say this EVERY week, so don't be fooled.

Then there's the new habit of 'table-tipping'. This is the paranormal practice of placing your hands on a wobbly table, someone moving it without telling the others, and everyone getting all excited because they think they're communicating with the dead. Uh huh. If I was communicating with the other side every time my table leg was a bit short on one side, I'd be a bit of a wreck by now. What a load of rubbish this is! ANYONE could be moving that table, even unconsciously, especially since they always seem to choose the most rickety table on offer. Ridiculous, basically.

'Most Haunted' is a prime example of...well, trash, to be honest. Contrived, funny when it shouldn't be, too long and always pompously over-written, it's a program I would urge any self-respecting adult to switch off. Since I lack self respect (no really), I'll continue to watch it myself, if not just to laugh at Derek's weekly acting attempt. You may well call me a hypocrite for watching a show I've criticised to such a great extent, but all I can say to that is, if it wasn't for people like me who put ourselves through the horror (and hilarity) of watching this tripe, you wouldn't be reading this review to save you the bother! Think about it....Also, my mum makes me :-s

If you're a bit gullible, maybe this is right up your street. If you're a cynic, it's right up you're street because it only helps to prove your point. But if you want to watch a serious investigation into the paranormal, you're using the wrong map, because you belong on the other side of the street.

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