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    Your dooyooMiles Miles

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      06.02.2002 20:36
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      All together now, Dough, I'll make, a lot of dough, Ray of light shone out my ass, Me, all me, and me and me, Far, is still too close to be, So, I got into the band, La, I've got it on a plate, Tea, I'd rather have champagne, That will cost a lot of dough…oh…oh…oh… (with apologies to Julie Andrews) That's the sorry state of Popstars that many would have us believe. Popstars (or should I say Hear Say) are described only too often as a manufactured band, lacking talent, brought together to make ITV rich. No room for fat Claire, no room for Darius to spread his wings…but no room also, for the sack-fulls of "hopefuls" who could not sing a note. I didn't warm to the programme when it was first aired on TV which lead us through the process of putting a band together, warts and all. We were shown the good, the bad and the ugly over a period of weeks. Nasty Nick (of Big Brother fame) found himself out-nastied by Nasty Nigel (is there something about people whose names begin with "N"?) as thousands of hopefuls had their dreams dashed with a "sorry, we are going to have to let you go". My own lack of enthusiasm aside I do think that this programme had a lot going for it. + Good for people about to audition…… So you think that you are the next Madonna or David Gray? So you want to be Top of the Pops? What are you really letting yourself in for? Brush aside the sensational stories and the characters and what you are left with in Popstars is a pretty accurate fly-on-the-wall documentary about auditions. Let's face it, if you want to be a popstar you are not going to get very far if you do not go through the auditioning process. What we were shown here was spot on. You will be made to stand and sing in front of strangers, you will have to do as you are told (and not, like Darius , just do your own thing) and you will have to be prepared for disappointment. The one thing that surprised me was the lack back-stabbing and bitchiness. I have yet to attend an audition or be involved in "entertainment" that has not had an element of backstabbing. From the cry of the mother of three-year-old Petrina who declares that "Petrina is just such an advanced dancer for her age. My Pet is simply the best!" to the scream of the highly strung veteran performer denied their favourite dressing room "I can't possible go on stage, the aura is all wrong!" there will always be hard feeling and one-upmanship associated with performing at all levels. Before setting your sights on a performance career, you could do worse than watch a few of the early episodes of this programme. Sobering thoughts. + Manufactured, or just created? One of the biggest criticisms levelled at the programme though was the fact that it produced a "manufactured band". Well, forgive me for breathing but aren't the majority of bands manufactured? You're at school and a bunch of mates invite you to be in their band. Why are they asking you…. Chances are it has more to do with what you can offer than the fact that they are your mates. Whether what you offer is great drumming or vocal skills or something much more sinister such as a large house with an empty garage to rehearse in they will be manufacturing a band. Selecting people for what they have to offer. I suggest that it is the rare band that just happens. The Spice Girls were put together following newspaper ads, bands such as the Rolling Stones or even the Beatles evolved as new ideas came with new members replacing old. Of course they will be manufactured. Why is a manufactured band a bad thing anyway? All of the Popstars can sing (in their own way), they dance, and they don't look too bad. Put them together and their talent real ly does shine through. How many bands, let alone newly formed ones, could come together with the professionalism that was shown by Hear Say just prior to the Brits. Again, their video, shot in a day at an army base in Essex showed how well this group of young people had gelled. It should serve as an inspiration, not a condemnation of all that is pop. + Cover stories Yet another criticism that is levelled is that they are doing so many covers. This, I fear, is a product of commercialism, ITV wanting to keep them up in the ratings for as long as possible. They couldn't write and produce and album in a week so they had to borrow some material. But again, what is really wrong with this. If they were classical performers they would not be slated for playing Mozart again, and just how many performers have jumped on the Nigel Kennedy/Vanessa Mae bandwagon and done classical-gone-pop? Yes, these performers may be slated for "ruining" the classics, but not for their choice of music. Why then, should a close harmony version of "Bridge over Troubled Water" come in for so much stick? It showed that the group could harmonise and bring a piece of music up to date and within reach of the target audience. + Give these guys a break…. They worked hard, they have shone through to the top of the pile (whether we agree with the judges or not) and they have been given a chance that most of us could only dream of (as have many of the "unlucky" ones too). Let's give them a break and give them a chance. Manufactured or not, there is still a lot of talent between the 5 original members, talent that most of us can only dream of. BUT HANG ON….. Popstars and Hear’Say have hit the headlines again. Kym Marsh has left the band. I’m sure that the reasons for her leaving will remain shrouded in mystery. Was it a clash with Myleene? Was it disgust at the thought of promotion in Oman? Who knows and who cares? It has done the group and ITV a huge favour though. Now all of a sudden the search for a new star was on again. Rather than drag us through the whole process again the group decided to audition last Sunday and announced the new group member yesterday. 48 hours is not a long time to get a new face on board and it is with little surprise that we learn that the new face of Hear’Say is a chap already known to the band, with impeccable music industry connections, engaged to an ex-member of Steps and with a top 20 hit already under his belt with a track called “Falling” performed by his old band Boom! This to me is more worthy of complaint than the original composition of the band. I guess that all will be revealed when ITV screen selections from the auditioning process this coming Saturday. Was he for real or was it a foregone conclusion? You decide. The band will undoubtedly capitalise on this new publicity and if done well can only go from strength to strength. At least one thing is for sure. Popstars will not be a programme that ITV can foist upon us as a repeat. Like Big Brother, it just won’t be the same knowing the outcome. Having said that, I thought that about Survivor but that is being re-aired at the moment! We will undoubtedly get clips over and over again as a new wave of publicity hits the band but I do feel that a rerun is unlikely. Popstars II – I doubt that too. Market saturation will be reached very early for this kind of show and the music they produce. So what next? We have done the Pop group, the soap stars almost done the pop idol….why not go for something more public spirited? Maybe the Star Teacher or driving instructor. Something that would put back into society so much more than a pop group can ever do. In conclusion (to the tune of My Favorite Things – Sound of Music) Don’t diss the music and don’t diss the reasons, Think for yourself and forget mass opinion, Reason it out and then make up your mind, Really, are Hear’say just one of a kind? When the bug bites When the camera rolls When you watch TV Remember that once they were all just like you And one day your time will come. (again apologies to Ms Andrews and everyone else!)

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        06.11.2001 00:35
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        Pop Idol is a crueler more commercial spin off from the same company who bought us Popstars.It again offers the chance for wannabes to emulate Hearsay and be plucked for stardom from no where. And also sign away all their legal rites to the royalties and intellectual patents to disappear after one year in to the same anomininity where they came from. Anyone who entered this from the final 5000 would be well aware what’s coming through watching Popstars.So LWT beefed up the format by introducing more stringent tests of star ability and ways of making the TV Company money on the side. Ant and Dec who have done for children’s TV, what Anthrax has done for Cippro are entrusted to host and put the would be posers through their paces to release their dreams. The cruelness began by stringing the fast no so sexy one with a great voice through the series. He, we and just about everyone else knows that fat people don’t become famous regardless of their stunning vocal chords. The poor guy kept winning through auditions in the interest of good telly and, aghh bless from, Britain’s mums. The evil producers though were lining him up for a very big fall, and I for one wouldn’t want to be underneath him when he hit the lyno floor. A flood of tears and another young starlet’s dreams are shattered. Still the canteens open so he left with a smile. As like Channel Fours model behavior, the show is all about embarrassing and upsetting young kids in front of the nation. The C4 show which is the same format but with young wannna be girls were particularly cruel in rejecting the poor kids. They were herded into the room and told blatantly they had failed and would not make the final three. To a vein female teenager that could only mean your pig ugly and will probably traumatize the little 15-year-olds. The judges actually did it with dismissive ease and vitriol, which I think is to far in the pursui t of 6pm evening TV. The ITV show at the same time also has a nasty judge in Simon.Simon works for top record company RCA and is equally cutting to the younger contestants. I’m sure the producers of Popidol paid him to be an asshole, sporting a bouffant hairpiece of Uri Gellar proportions, he’s the type of guy who blew himself to the top of his bitchy trade. He was being deliberately cutting even though the kid up on stage was nervous and doing rather well. But the show would need a new edge to freshen up its simple format. Last nights show was the final ten seeking the illustrious contract to be a solo star. The lucky ten all had to perform in front of the judges whilst Ant and Dec and the other contestants looked on through a big TV screen next door. The four adjudicators included Pete Waterman of Kylie and Jason fame is clearly not a good judge of talent, but was here to poach the talent available. The final few were a mix of boy band clones and startled girl’s rabbits in the headlights. There was a stunning lack of black talent, even though %40 of British artists are non white. There was one white girl with extensions that wanted to be anything but a homey and belted out a good one. The only black contestant was Errol Edwards, the classic gang-star type with attitude and the voice of an angel. Simons eyes sparkled as he did his thing,”now that guy looks like a popstar up their”beamed the RCA hommo. He looked more like a drug dealer to the nation though. Paula Jade the youngest at 16,sounded like that kareoki pub that only certain sink estate girls go to on a Saturday night. Talk about dogs barking!. She was clearly stitched up by the production staff still trying to make good telly by giving her a tune with lots of high notes. You could see in the green room as she blabbed away her dreams that the song was way beyond her minimal ability. She had only got this far on chest size alone by the looks. The lads had boy band voices and boy band stances as they pleaded with the teen girlies with their puppy dog eyes to pick up the phone. The phone vote was introduced last night so the punters at home could make the choice of who will be the winner. Clearly the demographics of the vote would be mostly young harmonic girls and there fore the cutest guys, regardless of his voice would be progressing to the final show next week. And a nice little earner for the production company. It kind of makes the whole concept of the show if the public are going to vote, and not the talent spotters. Still the irony is there, and these talentless kids are ignored over looks and sexability anyhow. The advantage of going on last was clear to Haifa, the sexy tight jeans wearing Sheryl Crowesque babe. She kept shuffling behind Ant and Decs sofa to get in camera shot as the puppy dog presenters wiped away the tears of the eight previous contestants. But like Waterman said after wowing them with her slot, the camera loves you. She did look fantastic with her corkscrew wild hair, and tight jeans. So tight that she may have a dose of DVT (Deep vein thrombosis.) They announced the winner at 9-50pm just before the kiddies were in bed and I was on my third pint at the Fitchett and fukkitt. I’m sure LWT made a few quid and five stars are nearly born. The reason I watched the show is I have to watch something whilst munching on my Saturday take away. The alternatives don’t bare thinking about on the other side. Why anyone would want to see a load of Darren and Kelly’s running around with Ian Wright. If you also need something to pass the time between getting ready to eat and booze then this is the one for you. No brainier TV that lets you laugh at people with way more talent. Classic proletariat television that’s sadly watchable considering its cruelty and banal nature.

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          25.10.2001 20:30
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          • "It takes up a button on my controller
          • My fingers and thumb aren't getting a full lap of the TV controller anymore"

          What is the problem with television producers nowadays? I am sorry but I am sick and tired of seeing complete and utter rubbish shown on the television. What I am referring to is this "increase" in so called "reality" television. It all started a long time ago in a faraway place where a very intelligent man called George Orwell (not his real name but an alias) wrote a book called "1984". This book or novel if you will focused on the danger that our lives will no longer become private in the future due to the fact that there was a large screen nicknamed "Big Brother" that would tell everyone in the city what the news is by them merely looking through their window of their apartment. Now although they could look at "Big Brother", "Big Brother" could look in at them. And so the concept arose of this idea that privacy no longer exists. We all saw Big Brother, yes initially it was all very interesting watching ten (eleven? I lost count) deranged and soul-less individuals expose themselves to the nation in their own individual attention seeking and pathetic manner. Who can forget when "Marjorie the Chicken was replaced without the housemates knowing!?", I can. Or when the housemates were crying under their sheets at three o'clock in the morning! I can. Or the coup-de-grace when the so called "Nasty Nick" who received death threats from very misguided people who read "The Sun", evicted himself?! I CAN! "Why Mr Glover, Why?", they seem to inquire. I'll tell you why! Because its a complete and utter stream of garbage constantly week in and week out !(Okay so garbage doesn’t flow in streams but I can't go around swearing like a bad man) Constantly I see newspapers, namely tabloids, harping on about these "Popstars" and "Pop Idols". All these oh-so-emotionally-damaged people who complain about how they were unfa irly judged and how harshly they were treated. Sorry to interject for those of you who don't have a complete clue of what I'm trying to discuss here but the aforementioned "Popstars" and "Pop Idol" are game shows of a sort in which around the magical country of England auditions are or rather "were" held for hapless individuals to come along and see whether or not they do have the vocal quality of a flock of geese being caught in the cog wheels of some large machine. They intend to seek out the one person, "the" person the music industry needs to spice it up. In the majority however, their voices resemble the former. Unfortunately although the idea itself seems initially an interesting idea, the way in which it is executed is absolutely dire. To each person they come on in front of four judges to sing a short verse and chorus and in turn are judged ridiculously by the four most incompetent people in the universe. As I said four people, f-o-u-r, although the intellect between them would not make up half a person. These people are Peter Waterman (part of the ghastly Stock Aitken and Waterman trio who need no introduction but to be burnt at the stake quickly), Doctor Fox who is a terrible radio DJ who belongs somewhere in the borderline of Time between the depressing eighties and the misguided nineties, a woman called Nikki Something-or-other who worked on the previous show of Popstars and and awful black haired man whose name I can't recall but he must have taken his contract with a bit too much gusto and serves the purpose of being a right b&$"*!d (careful there's children around) to all the contestants. I have watched the show "Pop Idol" about twice and I have just been dumbfounded by the stupidity not only of the contestants but of the judges as well. Now no offence to anyone who appeared on the show and lost miserably but I just don't care, the whole conce pt of the show does NOT revolve around the music, it revolves around the concept of becoming famous within the space of a single month. What ever happened to the good old blood, sweat and tears in the music industry? We all know the stories of Micheal Jackson and Madonna, the former having abusive parents forcing him to become famous and of course with Madonna who was continuously in financial trouble all the time in her early years until she hit the big time. All the great artists have had some sob story or another, be it the traditional abusive-and-insane-parents-want-famous-child syndrome or the typical tearaway child combined with the guaranteed delusions of grandeur. Not some bum off the street looking for his or her window to what may be their entire lifespan of the so-called fifteen minutes of fame. I'm not saying "don't have the odd delusion of grandeur", but if you're no good at any of the required talents of a musician or "artist" as they like to call themselves (what's so artistic about stretching your vocal chords? Heck we should all be "artists" at this rate), don't try and think you're a musician. This sort of thing literally poisons what used to be a proud industry of varied talent and interesting people. Now each week all we see is some dumb teenage blond(e?) from Middle-America singing about... well not really about anything but she'll look nice and that's what they say is important. Beware the rose-tinted glasses of Fame. Anyway back to my point, I heard a statement from the editor of "Heat Magazine" (a weekly magazine about celebrities and so forth) that the single by the Popstars winners "Hear'say" could've been, "a track of them farting continuously for two and a half minutes wouldn't matter, they still would have got to number one (in the charts)". Though from hearing their song "Pure and Simple" by H ear'say (they have abused apostrophes in general) which is really a song about nothing in particular, I'm not sure which is the better idea for a tune, them singing through their rear end or out their facial orifice. Besides that I’m getting side-tracked here. The whole concept has annoyed me immensely. I consider this whole idea to be downright nasty. Of course in real life when people apply for performances in plays or musicals in the theatres, not everyone is going to win, and of course there will be some of those people who become emotional. That’s all very well and true, these things happen in real life. But the fact of the matter is, that this whole concept was orchestrated from the start. The whole program has been based around the fact that, guaranteed every week you will see some aesthetically displeasing, misdirected fool who has all the choral ability of a koala bear on bad acid. This is not how television should be turning out, the whole fact that it is aggravatingly constructed in this manner annoys me even further. Yeah, yeah, yeah it’s all human drama and all very moving but its voyeuristic and at extremes perverse. I recently came to this conclusion when I watched two episodes of the program “Pop Idol”. Even the name of it infuriates me especially the “Idol” part of the title. Have we all become idolaters?(See the film Dogma by Kevin Smith) Do we really need this sort of thing in our lives? I do not believe so. It has all just become another cheap and tacky cash in for greedy producers who think that they are “so good at telly”.(See also the excellent comedienne Armando Ianucci) Have we become so lost and misguided that we need to somehow prove ourselves in front of a camera that exposes us to millions of voyeuristic fools? And in turn potentially damage ourselves emotionally? Sorry to sound not unlike that of a televangelist from America, but this really has come to concern me. I can only hope that whoever wins this pathetic and degrading competition, goes onto lead a somewhat normal life and does not subside into drink and drugs and so forth due to being propelled into the higher echelons of fame so quickly. Anyway its your own choice in the matter, I chose not to watch from this point on.

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            23.10.2001 18:57
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            Some kind of Pop Stars/Pop Idol type programme but featuring 8-14yr olds. S Club 7/CBBC have been holding auditions this weekend for kids to make up a support group for their concert at Wembley in Feb 2002. My daughters’ friend saw this advertised on CBBC and asked if my daughter would like to go with her to the audition. Up for everything as Xanthe is she said she would like to go. After two weeks practicing (see other op!!?) and roping in another girl we were off to audition. Auditions began at 10am Sunday morning at the Lowry Theatre in Manchester. We arrived at around 8.45 to find a queue of about three hundred wannabes already excitedly waiting for their chance to shine. By the time 10am arrived the queue had swelled to about 3000 young stars in the making. All of them practicing their songs and dances, doing their make up and spying on the opposition. Just before 10am the cameras came out to film the queues of waiting kids. Everyone wanted to get his or her face on the camera. This was another chance for the kids to show how good they were. Little groups of kids all over the place were bursting out with S Club renditions in the hope of getting on film. Some of these kids that we heard while we were stood queuing had absolutely fantastic voices. I wouldn’t have wanted to try and choose 50 or so kids to send through to the London Final Auditions. Nicki Chapman (of pop stars/pop idol fame) then came out to have a look at the waiting crowd. I have to say she is a lot better looking in real life and it is definitely true that the cameras put on an extra 5lbs. She is actually quite thin and doesn’t look anything like the little barrel that she appears to be on TV. She was lovely and stopped to speak to loads of people. She wasn’t judging the first round of auditions but she was judging after the first few thousand were whittled down to a couple of hundred. Tw o of the CBBC presenters were also there doing the rounds with the cameras. Xanthe asked one of them for an autograph but was politely refused, if he signed one for her he would have to sign one for everybody. At 10am the queue started moving and the first 200 kids were let into the building. No one quite knew what the procedure was or how long it would take so we all stood there waiting nervously. At this point parents were given a contract to sign. I must admit if I thought Xanthe had any chance whatever I don’t know whether I would have signed it. The first line of the contract read as follows: - I assign to the BBC the complete copyright and all other rights in my contributions for use in all media now known or which may be developed in future. Is that signing your life away or what? Anyway as I was pretty sure she had absolutely no chance of getting through I signed like every other parent. Can you imagine turning up and queuing for something like this with your excited child, getting to the door and then refusing to sign the contract? Life just wouldn’t be worth living. As we walked through the door all the kids were given a number and contracts were collected. The kids were called in to audition in groups of 100. They had been given a choice of 7 S club songs to sing. All the kids singing the same song all sang together while someone walked round listening to them. The best ones in the groups were called out to sing on their own. The best of those were asked to come back at 3pm for final auditions to go through to the London finals in November. Needless to say Xanthe did not get through the first part of the auditions although her friend Jamie did get called out to sing on her own. Jamie did not get through to the 3pm auditions. There were some fantastic singers who also did not get through the first part of the auditions. It seemed to be more luck than anything else. < br> Parents were not allowed in to watch the auditions. We had to sit in a separate area of the Theatre and wait for them to come back. This had to be the worst part of the day. Kids were coming back to their parents and absolutely sobbing their hearts out because they hadn’t been picked. This is not an easy thing to watch. I am very lucky with Xanthes' attitude. She came out of the audition absolutely buzzing that her friend had been picked to sing solo. She wasn’t in the slightest bit bothered that she hadn’t got through. All in all the auditions took about half an hour from entering the Lowry Theatre to them knowing if they were coming back at 3pm. When we left the theatre it had started to rain and people were still queuing for miles to get their chance to audition. I am sure they would have been stood waiting for hours and I am so glad that we got there when we did. So when it gets screened on the TV make sure you look out for us. My daughter and her friends sang for the cameras while they were queuing. I am the parent slowly sinking into the background and trying to hide behind the kids. Xanthe totally enjoyed her day meeting people she had seen on the telly, she was chuffed to bits with her signed S Club 7 poster that she was given for taking part. She can’t wait for it to be screened now just so she can see if she has got her face on the telly.

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              01.05.2001 06:56
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              Society is so very quick to judge these days. Gone are the days when everyone got a chance to prove themselves, the Popstar group were judged before they even knew they had been picked! I feel strongly on this subject, particluarly on this area of the TV show Popstars. I was not the most avid fan of the programme and could readily accept it if i missed it or didnt see it for a while, but I strongly feel that this programme was a great opportunity for these young singers to actually prove to the people in the Pop industry that they COULD sing. There is no doubt that these young talents can sing - there is endless video footage showing this. But all the important people in the Music industry who may have wanted to get involved with the group will have seen the programme and will know that they can sing and are not just another teenie pop no-hoper, can't really sing a note, gonna last 5 minutes band. Also the general public got to see that they could sing and also that it is hard work becoming a pop star. I was at school with a few people who seriously thought they were going to be pop stars. I talked to them a lot at the time and deduced that it was really just an excuse to put off really thinking about what they wanted to do. Also, they thought it was going to be easy and glamourous, where as the pop stars programme showed that this wasn't even half of it. Saying all this, I can definately still say that I can understand how Kelly from the Stereophonics and Damon from Blur/Gorrilaz feel when they say they cannot see why these people should get an easier ticket into the pop business when they struggled for years trying to get popular. But should we really put a time limit on how long a talented person needs to wait and struggle on the brink of being famous before it actually happens, just to justify the unfortunate wait the other popstars have had. Surely if you want it enough and you are talented enough to get through t hen you would take every chance you get given to become famous. I really do feel that this programme did make genuinely talented people famous and showed the country just how ruthless and pinicitively selective the music inductry can be.

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                01.05.2001 00:44
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                Excuse me, I thought the idea of Popstars and the thus-resulting Hear'Say would be a new kind of band, destroying all the cliches of modern music. How we were fooled. What have Hear'Say got that no other band has got? Please let me know as I have yet to find it. There are the compulsary five members who have become 'bestest friends' in a few months in the usual format: the cute blonde, the exotic brunette, the boring-looking one with the skeleton in the closet, a token ethnic member and the mother's favourite boy-next-door type. Then there is the traditional misspelling of the name. Think of 5ive, think of B*witched, ok...stop thinking. And there are those phony American accents they adopt but only when they sing. As soon as they start talking you hear the broadest Lancashire and East London accents there ever existed. It appears they can only sing when they knit their eyebrows together and shrug their shoulders and are pre-programmed to fall into a mechanical 'dance' routine every time someone so much as mentions 'pure and simple'. What beats all that is that smug attitude borrowed from the Spice Girls and the like that they'll be around forever, always be bestest friends and love their fans. Hear'Say? I've heard enough already, thanks.

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                  30.04.2001 07:29
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                  I don't like Popstars. I don't like the very idea of it. I don't like maunfactured pop. I don't like bands that don't play their own instruments. I sound like a typical sixteen year old boy, don't I? In my opinion, this show did nothing but solidify my personal belief that the music industry has turned into a joke - a business from which disposable pop groups are released upon the world en masse. It reaffirmed my belief that the pop industry is so shallow that looks are more important than actual talent. The girl who was easily the best singer of the whole lot was eliminated just because she overweight. None of the producers cared that she could sing. All they cared about was her weight. And the five who actually became popstars (and may God have mercy on their souls) had to undergo complete remakes to make them "look more like a group." They look nothing more like a unit than they had at the start of the show. The group's first single Pure and Simple is exactly that. It is nothing but generic pop crap that has flooded our radios and tv stations (thank God for VH1's 'No HearSay' policy), and I don't think I'd be stretching too far if I said I could pull a better piece of work out of my rectum. It also underwent the Stargate remix scheme - God, what song hasn't these days? The basic fact of the matter is that, like many of the boy bands/girl groups of yesteryear and today, HearSay are disposable. Does anyone really think we'll even remember them come Christmas? Without the PopStars tv show, no-one would give a rat's ass about this group. Frankly I don't, never did, and most likely never will. And I hope to keep it that way.

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                    15.04.2001 19:12
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                    I started to watch this exciting (yawn, yawn) programme of over inflated egos, thousands of auditions, people wanting to make it big in the delightful world of singing, when it first started in January. I`m talking about the latest thing to show on our televisions, the unfamous popstars. The adverts for this were mildly annoying to start with but gradually increasing to very irritating. ARRRRGGGHHH SCREAM!!!! Pick me Nigel, no pick me, how`s about my two year old daughter or the next door neighbours cat. They needed to decrease the number of people auditioning for inclusion in this yet another straight of the conveyour belt, so called band from around 10,000 show offs to just 5 (hang on isn't that another manufactured band). I know this is a hard task, but it seems to me they have gone for S-club 7 lookalikes, could a possible name for this new group be S-club 5. From the final 10 they have managed to get two bands, who are now almost guaranteed to get a no:1 record from the publicty alone. Does the world really need another teeny bop band? The final band name is hearsay and yes as predicted they had a no:1 record

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                      13.04.2001 23:43
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                      Today we are going to talk about Hear ‘ Say. Hear ’ Say is a mixed band made up of Kim,Danny, Suzanne, Noel and Myleene.Here’s how they got where they are today. Well , it all started out when the 1000’s of people decided to try to get in to the now legendary POPSTARS t.v. show!!! Week after week viewers would sit infront of thier television sets waiting to finally see who would make it to the ‘FINAL 5 ‘ . I mean every time someone said it I felt like going , ‘ DUN DUN DUUU ‘!!!! Well, as the weeks DID go on there DID get to be an awful lot less contests . During the ‘ GOODBYE ‘ process we came across Darius ( well I think he turned out to be the star of the show! ) who unluckily did not make it but NO-ONE on this entire planet can say that he did not try. Darius has still appeared on about 7 programmes and so no way can he say that he didn’t get stardom after all!!! Well back to the point. When it got to the ‘ FINAL 5 DUN DUN DUUUU ‘the oh so mean NASTY NIGEL, and the other 2 judges went around to each of the 10 finallists homes individually but even if they knew they Had made it they still did not yet know who else had. After , the band had to move into a private house in London for 6 weeks and the only way that they could speak to thier family was over the mobile phones that they had been given. I’m not sure how long after but soon after moving in they found out that Kim had 2 children . That is the story of how they got there. Hear’say have brought out 1 single and 1 album, I personally have only the album. Their best selling song so far has to be ‘ Pure and Simple ’. On the album there are 15 songs including Monday Monday and Bridge over Troubled Water. They have made it to number one in the charts and are the fastest selling band ever. But just to finish off I would like to Say : What do Hear’say say? !.!.!.

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                        08.04.2001 01:10
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                        Popstars was such a horrible, disghusting festering pile of cucumbers made out of frozen whale urin and smothered in Dolphin fat that I've ever seen! 'How much rubbish is there, in this room' said Darius. 'I will be even more twats than the people who pass the auditions. I will get a triple excrement award for my album, I will take-over the world in an extreme fasict regime and blow off everyone's heads with machetes.' Pk, I'm reading between the lines, but you get the f'in' point. The Yanks created this penal banana and called it 'Making THe Band' or somewthing equally bland. It was about some young loners probably on more smack than I am, who tried to sink lower than everyone else in an attempt to become poopstars. And no-one, on either side of the Atlantic can think of any good names. O Town and Hear'Say. RUBBISH!!!!!!! ABSOLUTE MASTURBATION CLASS WITH YOUR PRIMAIRY SCHOOL HEAD TEACHER AND A GHERKIN UP YOUR ASS!! Which really summs up the program. IT'S boring THe people are pathetic and unintersting. 'Ow! I've hurt my nose.' says someone stupid. Darius was a smug, goblin. Some of them think it's cool to do hymns for the audition. And the hymn wasn't any good anyway! The judges were more blind than a bat. And had more balls than brain cells. We never got anything decent, just boring whining. What was the point. Just because we're zombies to a fasict regime. Nothing was interesting, the music was terrible, the concept was freaky and disturbing, the tension was between auditions was liking praying to God you wouldn't wet yourself in bed. I ask you, should the government really be letting this happen. Oh. I forgot, they're on their side, aren't they. C---s.

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                          05.04.2001 23:25
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                          Dooyooers, This real life soap opera follows the triumphs and tears of a group of young people chosen to be the latest pop sensations. Selected from thousands of hopefuls who auditioned across the country, the new group will attempt to storm the charts with their first single, due out early this year. The TV cameras are there to record pop history in the making - from the first audition to the day the single is released, Popstars documents the entire incredible process. Popstars is not unique to the UK. The Australian version, which was produced by Screentime for Seven Network, saw the birth of an all-girl group Bardot - whose debut single entered the National Singles Chart at Number One and went on to surpass platinum status. The show whipped up the kind of frenzy normally reserved for the Spice Girls and knocked worldwide hit series "Friends" straight off the No.1 ratings spot. I personially am waiting for the Aussie version of it. The band Bardot were made in Aussie land, as for Horse ay, well, what a name! Hear'Say have hit the charts at number 1, and they have sold nearly 1million copies of Pure & Simple in just 3 weeks. Will they stay at number one this week, or will Emma Bunton with her new single knock off the chart giants? Lets wait and see!

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                            01.04.2001 01:03
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                            When the popstars series first started, I was doubtful. I thought it would be a run of the mill docu-soap! But I admit it I was wrong! I am now almost there number one fan! Noel, Suzanne, Myleene, Kym and Danny were chosen from masses of people. There were literally thousands of young hopefuls. The three judges dwindles it down to just ten and then five, the five being the now famous 'hear'say'. I thought Claire was excellent, and she tried so hard to perform the dance routines mostly with success. I was disappointed when the judges removed her from the running because she was too fat! And Nasty Nigel telling Kym she had put on too much weight, was well out of order! Yes, people want nice things to look at, but they also want good voices to hear. I think ruling people out because they have extra fat on them is wrong - it encourages eating disorders. Anyway, back to popstars. The series was a massive hit, and just about every body in the country watched it I think. Many people argued they should of worked their way to the top, but they were struggling singers too who just happened to get a lucky break! The series concluded with a climax. A live episode, waiting to see if the group had got to number one with their debut single. As the charts ticked down, the tension mounted. Number two was..........Westlife with the comic relief record! Hear say had made number one! They had sold over 500,000 discs in just a week! It was the fastest selling debut single of all time. they have now released an album which will also be number one no doubt! (And a video) Their music is extrememly listenable, and singable! They appeal to all ages, especially as through the series we feel we know them! Watchability - 10 out of 10 Singability - 9 out of 10 Overall ability 10 outof 10 here endith my report on Popstars/hearsay

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                              31.03.2001 18:48
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                              I absolutely loved popstars, forget whether you like the band or not, the show was excellent. So exciting to get such insight into the making of a band, to see how they deal with all the dream fulfilling things that they went through. It's so much nicer to have some insight into what the people in the band are like. Watching them at auditions when they were just another face in the crowd, watching each stage and they get more excited. Although they didn't show too much of the final band as to not let on which were picked. I think one thing that they missed out on is a special showing all the final bands auditions and other footage of the final 5 before they became famous. Maybe they'll do it in the future. I personally don't see anything wrong with 5 talented people coming together, getting to know each other, singing songs, and writing now. If they can write then does it really matter whether they came together naturally or from auditions on a TV show? If you like their music, voices and they are talented, that's all that matters. Myleene has a musical background, and all 5 are genuine good singers, who enjoy singing, and this is what they wanted to do.

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                              24.03.2001 23:56
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                              I watch this show once with doubts in my mind and found that it was strangely addictive. I found it quite interesting to see how people reacted to the panel and how the panel made its decisions, and how the winners reacted to the press. Its one of those programs that people find themselves having to watch the next episode of. They sit down and don’t do anything else until it’s over!!! It started of with a large number of talented people who wanted to be in a band. These people where slowly dismissed by the panel until they were just ten people left in the group. Then out of these ten people the panel chose five of them to be made into the new biggest thing. I found that it was quite interesting to see members of the panel go and personally tell the losing five they haven’t made it as they did it in person and it was interesting to see how the contestants reacted to the answer and how the judges broke the news and how they felt about giving the news to the contestants. After that the five were taken to a house where no one was told where it was so the press and other TV channels wouldn’t know about them, and they got to know each other a little better. They were each given a mobile phone so they could keep in touch with their family and friends. While living in this house they designed some songs and dance routines and decided on a name for the band, which is here say. Then after that they started gradually travelling round the country in two groups to all the different radio stations so they could be interviewed on air and people would get to here about them. Also because they were in two groups they had a competition between the groups to see who could collect the most station memorabilia. In the end both groups were given a huge amount and it was considered a draw. Once they became better known the press had a field day with them. All sorts of things were being printed about the band members supposed pre vious lives with people claming to have had an affair with some band members and also things like telling one of the female band members to get her extensions out However this band member (whose name I forget) claimed that she didn’t have any extensions in and got her hair cut short so as to get the press off her back. And they even had a go at the band manager. All the newspapers seemed to be making fun of his mop hairstyle. In the program he says that he was very angry and ye he did the same thing; he got his hair cut sort to get the press off his back. The managers of the band were quite worried during the end of the show as they were not sure if the people who watched the show would convert into people who by the music. However the music has worked and the people have defiantly bought it, as it is quite high up in the charts currently. However I personally think it was unfair that they became a band because they had loads of publicity through television, but then again S club 7 had several TV series on BBC 1 . I’m not to enthusiastic about their music myself but I enjoyed watching the program as I found it very interesting to see all the talented people at the start, then the people who were the judges on the panel and how they worked and chose there people and how they dealt with telling people that they hadn’t made it; and finally how the band was created and dealt with the press. This is great and eye opening as a TV show but as a band I don’t think they would have got to far without all of this publicity.

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                                20.03.2001 08:19
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                                Popstars was a real eye-opening documentary set in the world of the music business and the search for a new band who would be groomed to be the 'next big thing'. Thousands of people took part in the auditions showing that there is an enormous amount of talent out there, but in the end only 5 people got through to be in the band. The interviewing/auditioning process was simply fascinating, especially since I disagreed completely with some of the 'panel's' decisions and was competely mystified by the reasons they gave as well. I was however, totally amazed by the media reaction to this program and that of other people as well. It was like some kind of frenzy, whereby everyone had to get home to watch it or wouldn't come out until it had gone off. I was at a party one night and half the people shuffled upstairs to watch the program in one of its late night showings...amazing! I'm not sure who turned out to be the biggest stars of the show though - the rather dull band members or the auditioning panel. The media seems to have had a field day with both though throwing up pointless stories on past lives etc. ever since the program hit the screens. Now I remember why I stopped buying tabloids. As an experiment, the documentary etc. is superb, showing just how far the media can be manipulated in order to brainwash the public into thinking they like something. Were it not for the television show, the constant repetition of the song etc. this band would not have even charted. They have a complete lack of charisma, mediocre voices(bar 2), look extremely wooden on stage and are quite simply far too ordinary to be anything more than a flash in the pan. Sorry guys, but I predict 2-3 hits and then obscurity - enjoy it while it lasts....

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