How Low Can You Go? (The Priory)

Member Name: stoffy

Product:	The Priory
Date:	21/08/01 (43 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: not on at the moment!

Disadvantages: badly presented, lame features, not at all funny

A new low in TV was set a few years ago when 'The Priory' was first aired. Initially set to be the vehicle of Zoe 'only famous because my Dad is' Ball and an unknown comedian, Jamie 'look how far I've got on so little' Theakston was drafted in at the last minute amid rumours of 'differences' between Ball and the comic. Maybe they should have put the idea to bed there and then.

The idea of the programme was to basically to be a 'Live and Kicking' for the older (rather than mature) viewer. Going out at 6pm on a weekday, I think the idea was for the finest purveyors of pop culture to be interviewed live, combed over in features and embarrassed by members of the studio audience.

Sitting on their sofas like some kind of Richard and Judy wannabes, Ball and Theakston displayed all the professionalism of an autistic hamster when it came to reading their lines. If they looked into the right camera, you half expected a round of applause from the production crew.

The standard of guests was variable, but included 'stars' like Jordan and flavour of the month on Hollyoaks. Most of the guests were asked about 2 questions, before the obligatory 'before they were famous' clip, as well as being given ample time to plug their latest book/film/record/boobjob* (*delete as applicable).

The features were also pretty lame. The 'Jamie Will Make The Neccessary Arrangements' segment (it's a bit like a 'Jim'll Fix It' spoof, so it's bound to be a winner, right?!) was a perfect illustration of how the silence of the audience can tell a thousand words...

There was also a competition where members of the studio audience selected at 'random' (i.e. having the camera on them immediately after their name is drawn) can choose one of 5 buttons, 'connected' to an outdoor crane, with 5 TV's on bungee ropes attached. If the chosen TV doesn't
smash, you win it. This is on a par with the phone in feature, where we have to guess which celebrity a former workmate is talking about. Trash TV at its very worst...

Another 'fun' feature was the section with Paul Danan, who 'compered' the game of an ordinary person at home, also selected at 'random' (who is always in watching 'The Priory' rather than turning off the TV set and doing something less boring instead), running out of their house to perform some culinary challenge (i.e. eating 3 lemons or hamburgers) in 60 seconds. Yes, it's even more boring than it sounds.

Shambolic is probably too kind a word for such a terrible concept. I'm not sure whether their 'winning' combination on 'Live & Kicking' actually existed, or whether children just watched it beacuse Open University was on the other side. Either way, hopefully 'The Priory' won't come back for another series on Channel 4, and will be left to rot in an early morning slot on E4.

Summary: