You smell of wee and your mother dresses you funny- you're fired!! (The Apprentice UK)

Member Name: sparkymarky1973

Product:	The Apprentice UK
Date:	28/05/09 (28 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Nail-biting scenes every week in the board-room!!

Disadvantages: Some of the candidates can get very very annoying- yes, Ben we mean YOU!!

For newcomers to this long-running reality series, now on it's fifth season (and honestly where HAVE you been?), let me first begin by filling you in on all you might have missed. Each year, Sir Alan Sugar starts an annual search for an apprentice to join him in the running of one of his many business empires. His people whittle potential contestants down from thousands to a final twelve who have proven themselves to be the most photogenic, annoying or manipulative of all whom applied and so begins a twelve-week process in which each of the candidates fight for their right to make it through to the final week and be crowned this year's apprentice. Each week, the candidates are split into two teams and given a series of business-inspired tasks that include selling bizarre items to the public, going on shopping channels and selling products they themselves have chosen as marketable or setting up such services as sandwich makers and suppliers or car-washers from pretty much the bare basics. Each week, the team who make the least money are the losers and from that team, a self-appointed team-leader has to choose two of his associates to accompany him into the board-room where one of them will get fired. Sir Alan Sugar, aided by his two henchmen- Nick of the amusing facial expressions and Margaret of the comedy raised eyebrows- grills each of the potential condemned about their role in the failure of this weeks task in what is the most exciting part of the show and true colours become clear as each of the three candidtates vainly attempts to stitch up each other. Often it is not who is most at fault who goes but who fights their corner the weakest. Tactics and guile are essential allies if you want to walk out of the board-room unscathed and the gift of the gab is certainly something you want to have packed long before your visit to the boss. The ability to talk the hind legs off a donkey and the skill to think fast and on your feet has seen many doomed candidates escape by the skin of their teeth but sometimes those who talk the loudest are also those who leave the quickest so a fine balance between the two is also required!

This year, despite some critics maintaining that the format has become a bit tired, has seen some very tense scenes that make for compulsive viewing. The sacking of Ben " I had a scholarship to Sandhurst" " Did you go?" "no" was not just long awaited but one of the all-time best ever board-room confrontations ever. Other memorable moments include candidate Phillip creating the persona of Pants Man to advertise a breakfast cereal in one of the funniest episodes this series to Mona asking a pre-op transexual whether she was a man or a girl in perhaps the most cringe-worthy and embarrassing of all situations the candiates have found themselves in. With only two weeks left to go, my money is on Kate; blond beauty, very attractive and seemingly a very bright and tactical business woman; or James, everyman or bloke of the people who tells things as they are and intersperses his moments of intelligence with inane humour and often very bad jokes. Like plenty of candiates who have come before him, he suffers from terminal foot-in-mouth syndrome but this has provided comedy gold in more than one episode over the last ten weeks! Who can forget some of his great faux-pas that have left viewers rolling in the aisles and his colleagues cringing in embarrassment. ("Some mornings I wake up and can taste success in my spit!") If he can get through the interview process held by some of Sir Alan's toughest minds and hardest interviewers then anything is possible. As the last bloke remaining, he has as good a chance as any of the fellow candidates; Yasmina, a very dark horse who has done very well so far; Deborah, whose fiery temper and attitude have lead her into confrontation with Nick in the board-room which, as you can imagine, did not sit well with Sir Alan; and Lorraine, who has been compared to the Greek Cassandra and has been a royal pain in the butt to all of the team-leaders she has worked under. That is not to say that she doesn't make great TV but every series so far has had to have that one candidate you love to hate and this year she has been so appointed! Forget what the critics say- this show is still as fresh as it was on year one and a thousand times better viewing than rival show, The Restaurant featuring celebrity chef, Raymond Blanc.

Now you all know that reality TV is not really to my taste but this, for me, is unmissable Television along with the companion show, You're Fired shown immediately afterwards on BBC2 and hosted by Adrian Childs. This show features the losing candidate being interviewed by a panel of celebrity fans and can be just as much fun to watch as The Apprentice! The Apprentice is shown every wednesday on BBC1 at 9 P.M sharp. Make sure you are there as Sir Alan's car will be there in 30 minutes...... oh and pack an overnight bag!!

Summary: The last two weeks are rapidly approaching.....