The Sex Factor (The X Factor)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	The X Factor
Date:	24/10/05 (1158 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Entertaining in a cringeworthy way

Disadvantages: Could cost your teenage son/daughter a packet

From Pop Idol to the X Factor, from voyeurism to...erm....more voyeurism. The X Factor is a huge, ratings winning TV show that’s sits astride the TV schedules on Saturday nights. With all the off-shoots that come with it like the results show and the behind the scenes stuff that builds the brand, the X-Factors panders to our most basic of whims – curiosity. Billed as a search for talent, of course we all know that unless you’re prepared to pester your mom and dad to buy you a drum kit early doors enabling you to blast out from the garage for numerous years until a scout stumbles upon you, then the real talent has already been signed up. All we’re left with is an overweight, warbling songster from Scotland and Steve “straight from the cruise decks” Whatsisnamenheim. Still, we did get Gareth and the other gay bloke who can sing and they do smile really well too.

I used to quite enjoy Pop Idol if for no other reason than to laugh at Pete Waterman’s increasing march towards Alzheimer’s. His frequent gaffs were always a source of merriment although Dr Fox wasn’t so far behind with a distinct inability to think spontaneously and with the quick wittidness of a hedgehog on dope. Of course, Pop Idol has now become the X-Factor where a nation wide search for undiscovered talent reaches all four corners of the Kingdom. The format isn’t that dissimilar to shows from bygone years. You could even be forgiven for remembering Hughie Green and his Opportunity Knocks, what with a Clapometer counting the votes and all (Sorry, showing my age for those that have never heard of a clapometer)

X Factor starts off with a round of mass auditions where folks queue for hours to try their act out in front of the panel consisting of Simon Cowell, Sharon Osborne and the wee, Irish chap (Louis Walsh). With a heavyweight history of manufacturing bands between them, these guys know their stuff but it’s the weirdoes that everyone looks out for. How on earth this people make it even to an audition is beyond comprehension....unless, of course they are there to play on everyone’s voyeurism and give us all a chance for a good old laff. One of my favourites was the guy who had sampled John Lennon and just stood there as his Master Blaster played back a sample of the dead Beatles voice in the form of an updated song. The panel just gazed on incredulously at the geek who, predictably, got laughed out of court. There were plenty of others to satiate the nation’s desire to have a good old chuckle. These included a trannie that won out at his/her audition and the girl who liked like a pig in a dress who was so distraught at being rejected to the point that her partner chased Simon Cowell around accusing him of everything under the sun. Needless to say, Mr smug was never in any real danger with a minder who looks like the side of a very large house.

It’s that blend of victory and tragedy that makes such compelling viewing as the ultimate groupie, Kate Thornton hugs and celebrates, kisses and commiserates with the various attendees having being passed or dismissed by the panel. There is the added twist of the 3 categories now i.e. under 25s, over 25s and groups with Simon, Sharon and Louis supposedly chosen by the producers to mentor one of the categories. Simon Cowell was apparently distraught at being given the groups giving a rather tame tongue-lashing to the producer when told about his choice but telling the other 2 that he was cool with the decision.

Having whittled the thousands of wannabies down to a reasonable figure, the show moves to a knockout scenario. Firstly, a boot camp kind of compressed mentoring takes place and then a show format takes over as each act gets a couple of minutes to impress the audience and take the criticism of the panel. With a normal looking line up this year it looks like the chances of finding a decent recording artist has gone up with no singing dirigibles in sight and even I think the standard is better. I can’t help thinking that Simon Cowell has mellowed over the years with only one really critical comment made on last Saturday’s show. Otherwise, it looked like Sharon Osbourne’s virtual squeezing of young Shayne’s gonads was gonna set the trend for weeks to come as it’s hard to see past the young crooner winning.

The real stars of the show are the judges. Set up in competition against each other, it’s their chemistry that makes the show work. The star search is almost secondary as the smug Simon Cowell with the face you wanna punch crosses swords with the completely unstable, bionic rock chick, Sharon and the diminutive leprechaun, Louis. Each have their own endearing features although these are heavily outweighed by an arrogance and over confidence that results in Sharon’s 12 meals a day coming in between her latest bouts of cosmetic surgery.

The money for the show comes from all the folks that ring or text their votes in to ensure that their favourite is not one of the final 2 who have to sing again in front of the judges during the results show at 9pm-ish. One has to go and this usually results in some kind of controversy as tears flood the stage when the losing act gets booted out. For those of us with teenage children then it's time to watch the phones carefully as the texts and calls quickly add up with those hell bent on ringing/texting continuously to keep their favourite in.

As for the “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here” run in then the odds are against the singing bin man, Andy whose looking fragile just now and how on Earth is Chico still in there? Maria looked a fox dressed in her hankerchief, singing a Micheal Jackson rendition and if she keeps dressing like that she must have a chance of making the final 3 or at least getting a call from Playboy. Nope...it’s a surefire win for Shayne although he reminds me of Adam Sandler more than anyone else.

Who knows? Who cares? Millions do because it’s addictive, entertaining car-crash TV!

Thanks for reading

Marandina

The 2nd series of X Factor is on ITV on Saturday nights at 6.15pm.

Summary: Overview of the TV show