Bouncy Assault Course (Total Wipeout)

Member Name: doncasteryb

Product:	Total Wipeout
Date:	16/08/09 (99 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: 60 minutes of escapism

Disadvantages: Get the Hamster involved!lol

Presented by Richard Hammond, this makes for the kind of Saturday night viewing that has you cringing and cheering people on all the same. As i'm sure is the same for alot of you out there, I'm accustomed to seeing Hammond playing an active part in a role - Top Gear and Brainiac to name 2. His hair seems to have taken a life of its own, especially in yesterday's show - it was semi slicked back, giving the impression of a weasel trying to balance on his head - not a good look! Amanda Byram plays more of an active role by being out there in the thick of it with the contestants. Her credentials include being a model and a host on The Big Breakfast back in 2001.

Now, about the actual show. This British game show began airing on 3rd January 2009 and has been increasing in popularity ever since. 20 contestants battle it out through some of the toughest, and sometimes, just obstacles to make them look ridiculous, to win the end result of £10,000!

The qualifying round involves the contestants shouting out some form of slogan(i.e "I'm Daddy Cool and I'm here to Rule"), in an effort to get the crowd behind them. It starts off with a water slide, after which there are various obstacles involving a combination of balance, endurance, stamina, and I don't know what, for those big balls - it has been accomplished a handful of times. Alex from episode 6 and Alice from episode 2 have managed to bounce their way along these swelling red orbs. The technique used, is not as you'd imagine - bounce from one to another, it involved a combination of balance and perseverance - by landing on one and regaining balance, then moving onto the next. The first time this was accomplished, by Alice, Hammond is seen to crack open some champagne - until of course she falls off of the next obstacle! It's hilarious to watch people rebounding off the balls, but at the same time cringe worthy as they crash into the balls with various parts of their anatomy. The Sucker Punch with the purpose built narrow ledge typically ends with contestants landing in the sludge. Humoungous boxing gloves attached to a piston come out through custom made holes in a wall, which the contestant has to make their way to the other side - they are wearing safety clothing to protect them from the impact, so it's Ok to laugh when they get belted in the abdominal! The 12 who manage to make their way through these obstacles make their way to the next round! They thought that was tough, they ain't seen nothing yet!

The Sweeper consists of a fairly simple idea - the remaining 12 contestants standing on circular spongy pillars arranged in a circle, that are 13ft above a pool. The klaxon sounds, and a rotating beam with a long red foamy part (wouldn't want to damage the contestants). As the beam spins around the contestants simply have to jump above it and land on their platform - sounds easy, doesn't it? In order to make it even more of a challenge each rotation of the beam results in the beam being raised and revolving quicker, meaning contestants have to jump higher to clear the beam. Once there are 6 contestants remaining, it's simply a case of continuing for, as Hammond puts it, "for fun".

Just thinking about the previous assault course, has made me feel knackered! This is not where it ends, the remaining 6 contestants must spurge their final remains of energy and complete the Dizzy Dummies in order to compete for the finale. They are strapped to a rotating drum and spun around rapidly for 45 seconds - similar to a washing machine spin cycle, then released to make their way through various obstacles. Just the idea of being spun so fast makes me nauseous just thinking about it! The obstacles are arranged around a pool so if the contestants happen to fall in, they must begin making their way through the obstacles again.
If you've made it through the ordeal, the final battle for the remaining 3 contestants, is the Wipeout Zone. It starts with a 50ft water slide which contestants tackle whilst in an inflatable ring - making it look quite leisurely! Until, that is, they land with a thud into the water, followed by a short swim to the next obstacle. A greasy slope which sounds like a battle against the elements in itself, coupled with barrels being rolled down makes for a proper challenge. The contestants must jump over these barrels and make it to the top of the slope to the relative safety of a ledge. Monkey bars, requiring good upper body strength are next and with the added waterfall, make for a tough ordeal. Almost at the end now - the remaining hurdles consist of a rotating platform, then a rolling beam and a couple of mini-trampolines, where contestants will find the buzzer, signalling that their torture is finally over. Each contestant takes it in turn, against the clock and are not aware of how well/badly they have performed until it is declared by Byram.

Throughout, Hammond commentates, sometimes to hilarious effect, but somehow, knowing that he doesn't have to take part, makes me think there should be an edition where he's made to try out the giant red balls and see where he lands!lol!

As you'd expect from an assault course, there have been injuries - of which, the celebrity ones have hit the news. Joe Swash (formerly from Eastenders) sustained an arm injury and Cleo Rocos was inflicted with a knee injury. Unless they haven't watched the show and didn;t want to increase their publicity ratings, why go on, then complain - WUSSES! Ratings battles have with Total Wipeout been mesmerising 4.19 million, which has recently blasted ITV out of the water with their Mr & Mrs achieving 3.14 million (digital spy.co.uk Monday July 6th 2009).

Unfortunately this can't be watched on BBCiplayer, for some bizarre reason, similar to Crimewatch which has to be watched there and then.

If that has whet your appetite and you reckon you could win the loot, you can apply to take part on the show at http://www.bbc.co.uk/showsandtours/beonashow/total _wipeout.shtml. The only requirements are that you must be 18+ (in age, not necessarily size), a resident of the UK and be willing to travel to Buenos Aires for the purpose of filming - sounds like an ordeal!lol Applications must be posted back (an age old method of communication) after downloading it in Word format.

Summary: Not quite an army assaul course, but looks tough all the same! Defo one to watch!