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Blasphemy at the Friary
Bars & Entertainment
Member Name: poisonfish
Bars & Entertainment
Date: 07/04/01, updated on 07/04/01 (61 review reads)
Advantages: Er, it's on the way to the sugarhouse
Disadvantages: IT LOOKS LIKE A SCHOOL CANTEEN
If God looked down he would smite the those who defied his will and brought the curse of ThemePubs(TM) into his Sacred Place.
When students made their bi-weekly pilgramage to the Sugarhouse they often stopped off at the Friary and Firkin, a holy place where monks and nuns could spend half and hour drinking until the Sugarhouse opened at 10pm. All religions were welcome; there was a large, if busy bar for those who were thristy of throat. There were also slot machines for those who were heavy of pocket. And of course there was a false idol, devoted to those who were big of forehead, the largest religion in the world, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
And God looked down and he was happy, for his worshippers had kept pews for thirsty monks to talk and drink, and what could have been a place of sin was kept holy by the way in which this pub looked like a church. But it was a popular place of worship and things were soon to change.
The devil himself, known as keystones did close the Friary and Firkin and with the stench of brimstone burned the pews which so easily accomodated many students. The Oak tables were evilly drawn into hades and burned with the smell of a thousand student cocktails. And a New Way, like the politics of the country, changed the Friary and Firkin into a stale and derivitive unholy place- forever!
Now pilgrims flocking to the new "Firkin" are fooled by the outside appearance of a church, and enter the public house to be confronted by a most vile sight. The church interior has gone and replaced by the most evil of themed pubs, the new interior resembles a school canteen. With the holy attraction of the sugarhouse, people still come to the friary for the pre-dance drinks, but now hunch over Ikea-esque pine tables and chairs, 4 persons per table, unlike the mass of students that could crowd onto the large wooden tables of yore. The ancient holy game of pool now costs £1 and drives innocent students
to the new terrible slot machines, which are the devils own. "Full Moon Fever" and "The Addams Family" are false idols, merely holes which have condemned many a worthy quid to the underworld.
Of course, the mighty religious strength of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire has survived this evil untouched.
And what are we to do about this brothers? I shall continue to frequent the place. But grudgingly, for I have the curse that is the Yellow Card.