My carpet was soiled, dirty, trodded in, spilt on, written on, splashed, trashed and most of all, white. Now I know, a rookie mistake to purchase a white carpet, especially in a high traffic area such as my front room/hallway. Yet despite believing that all had been lost, and resigning to the fact that the date I had with 'Shirley from down the road' would end in her taking one look at my carpet and running for the hills, I found the greatest saviour of my sins since the big J.C. This messiah had one name - Rug Do...TWO NAMES...RUG. DOCTOR!

I was scepticle as to how benefitial the beast would be - for it was a beast, taking two fully grown boys to pull it home - as I had used other products such as Vanish to no avail. This felt different though, this was a proper cleaning machine, a god of cleanse. After pouring in the ungoldy amount of water, and putting in the 'secret formula', I turned it on. It rumbled with the beauty of a Ferrari, and purred like a little biddy kitty-kitty-kat - and it werent too bad on the eyes neither! Then it started its work, and wow, did it get to work. Within one sweep across the room, most of the dirt had gone - the carpet could be seen again, I was amazed and couldnt stop giggling.

Pass after pass, move and move, the red behemoth destroyed that dirt and restored my living room to its former glory, beautiful once again.

And so the time came for the romantic meal, I lit the candles, took the pot roast out of the oven, and put Neil Sedaka on the stereophone. I called 'Shirley from down the road' up and told her I had a new love. Looked across to my beautiful Rug Doctor, and knew that this one, would last...