It'll do for bungalows (Woolworths Cyclonic Vacuum)

Member Name: rolletrog

Product:	Woolworths Cyclonic Vacuum
Date:	21/07/08 (189 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Not many

Disadvantages: Quite a few

~~*~~*~~ Woolworths Cyclonic Vacuum ~~*~~*~~

It appears I'm turning into my mother. Firstly, I uttered the statement that I wasn't angry with my brother for being a muppet, more that I was disappointed with him. Secondly, it's a Saturday night and I've stayed in and cooked my very own dinner (and it wasn't cereal). Thirdly, I'm reviewing a ruddy hoover*.

I'll split this into categories that every mother across the land will find indispensably informative. First on the list is

~~*~~ How attractive is it? ~~*~~

Well, it's not going to win any awards at the Suckit awards (that's the infamous hoover prizes bestowed primarily by the hoover channel) but at the same time, it's not outwardly offensive on the eye. It's mostly a shiny black colour apart from the orange 'cyclonic' bit which is quite pretty.

~~*~~ How easy is it to manoeuvre up stairs? ~~*~~

Although it's very lightweight (especially compared to a hefty Dyson) and has a wonderful carry-handle on the top that enables you to go up and down the stairs with ease, the problem is there is no way on earth you can hoover the ruddy things - there are no tools. Actually it's not the lack of tools that are the problem since who knows what the vast selection you get with some appliances are for anyway? The predicament is that there's no hose attachment at all - all there is is the hoover. Now call me stupid, many people do, but just cos it says "without integrated tools" didn't occur to me that it meant "you'll only be able to hoover large pieces of carpet and your stairs, corners, sofa will remain covered in your ridiculous dog's fur".


~~*~~ Will I get Housewife's Elbow from overusage? ~~*~~

Probably not - as it's lightweight and floats effortlessly across your carpet. However, your ears may suffer a bashing from the noise it emits - at first it scared puppy Doughnut but now she just sits there with little cottonwool balls sticking out of her oversized ears. It's easy to change the hoover from upright to 'hoovering' position and similarly easy to turn on and off so that shouldn't injure even the most fragile person. The fact that it's bagless is most definitely its saving grace and it holds an ample 1.5 litres which means unless you're a dirty cow like moi, you're not emptying too often. It's very easy to empty - just unclip the dirt holder section, take to bin and press button to release the bottom of it. NB: make sure you remember you're not at your mums where you usually press the button to undo the top only to find that the dust has emptied all over the stairs which you've no way of cleaning resulting in much obscenities being shouted and the dog mishearing you and obediently sitting for 20 minutes in the hope of a biscuit.

~~*~~ How efficient is it for Labrador hair? ~~*~~

It's not really. Let's face it, had I been a discerning purchaser I wouldn't have wandered into Woolies looking for all my household needs after buying my first house, thus falling into the trap of 'a hoover's a hoover, it's obviously a bargain'. It probably picks up around 70% of dirt/dust/hair/chewed dog toys and the rest is mysteriously sucked up briefly and spat out behind you. There are 3 settings for different carpet piles but they don't seem to do much either way. It works but not to mother's standards however it definitely meets most student's benchmarks.

~~*~~ Am I going to have to mortgage the cat to buy one? ~~*~~

Not on your nelly. The cat is safe. It cost a mere £20 in the sale (RRP £30 when the luck of the devil is not behind you). However, for Christmas I did ask for a dustbuster so that 10 months after I'd moved into my luxury ghetto terrace I was able to clean the stairs. Obviously with it being a Woolworths make then presumably you'd have to purchase it in the aforementioned store - I've not seen any on ebay or anywhere else for that matter, plus Woolies now have their Worthit edition which appears to be the same hoover but in red.

~~*~~ Will it fit under the stairs where all hoovers appear to be kept? ~~*~~

Most probably. It's slim enough to fit in most gaps and handily, the arm bit that you push it around with (I've no idea the technical term for it) can be turned around the opposite way and pushed down so that its height is reduced dramatically. The mains cable is very long but there's no automatic winder - requires some effort to put away but is very neat when done.

~~*~~ Would you recommend spending the house-keeping on it? ~~*~~

Possibly. Does your weekly budget enable you to purchase real ketchup and real beans or do you have to pass the value version off instead so that your other half doesn't have a tantrum and sack you? Are you in charge of electronic purchases or do you have to consult him indoors who spends 5 weeks trying to find a bargain but in the end picks the most expensive because it is the most expensive? If you wear the trousers and are able to make well researched purchases on your own, then this hoover is not for you. If, however, you just want something to vaguely clean your floor for when your mother comes round whilst at the same time saving valuable pennies for beer and dog food, then Ta Da - purchase to your heart's content.

*Before any smart-ass makes the comment - I'm well aware that it's not a Hoover (the make) but being northern that's the word for a vaccum cleaner and that's the word I'm using, so there.

Thanks for reading.

Will appear elsewhere on the wonderful world web.

Summary: Its ok

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