Question: What do the following have in common?

An astonishing amount of Mexicans from supermarket bag packers to Citibank execs

The Director of Finance and Head of Estates at a large Manchester hospital

The model in a Pedro Meyer photograph currently on display in Quito's Centro Cultural Metropolitano

Pretty much every teenage boy at some point or another

The left wrist of a globe-trotting, review writing cheerleader called Zoë


Answer: they're never without their Casio F-81W.


Yes, I know it's a boy's watch, and yes I tend to tick the 'female' box on forms (though I was quite tempted by the 'Unknown' one that cropped up on a recent job application) but hear me out, because for the last 20+ years I have never gone more than 12 hours without this watch on my wrist. That means I've worn it while surfing in Australia, zip lining in Costa Rica, swimming with dolphins in the Bahamas and climbing the world's highest equatorial volcano. I even wore it to a recent gay wedding at a super swish Manchester hotel. The official photos seem to suggest it doesn't go that well with the strapless gown I had on, but given the guest list, I'm sure someone would have pointed it out to me if that were the case.

I love my Casio because it has an ALARM. No need to worry about carrying a travel alarm clock or ensuring your mobile's charged when you have this baby with you. You can set it for any time within the next 24 hours, and if you want a regular wake up call, you can just let it finish beeping (it goes on for about 15 seconds) and then leave it, and it will ring out again the same time tomorrow. The beep is distinct and loud enough to wake me up, but without being too much of a disturbance to people sleeping nearby.

I love my Casio because it is WATER PROOF. I like to know the time...always. So I keep it on while swimming, and I'm happy. Actually, I tend to put it ON for swimming when I'm on holiday - I take it off and lay it next to me on the lounger so I don't get a tan line, but then slip it back on for a dip in the water. It's waterproof to 50m. This used to confuse me. Did that mean if I swam two lengths of the pool without a break it would stop working? Humour me, I was 7 when I first got one of these. And it was at least, y'know, 4 or 5 years ago that I figured out the truth. Waterproof is better than splashproof, which some models offer. To be honest, splashproof would barely last a day in Manchester anyway, but I like the promise that it will hold up in bathroom showers as well as rainy ones.

I love my Casio because it EMITS LIGHT. Remember I like to know the time...always. That means day and night. At home in my bed I'm fine as I have an LED clock radio, but when I'm away not everyone is as hospitable. So, if I'm sleeping on a beach or in a hotel, or even on a plane, I can keep my watch on and press the light button to light up the time momentarily, so I know whether it's getting up time or not. It works in cinemas too - always helpful during long boring films about hobbits and/or Hogwarts.

I love my Casio because it has a STOP WATCH. You'd be surprised the things I've timed with it: the 11 minutes the pasta needs to cook for; 30 seconds to see how many sit ups we can do in that time. It is accurate to the millisecond and simple, and you can stop and restart the counter, or stop and re-set it with the touch of a button.

I love my Casio because it is not OSTENTATIOUS. It is quite discrete - thin black plastic strap, medium-sized face. It looks cheap (and, to be fair, it is - about £7.99 in the UK) which means that as valuable as it is to me, no one would want to cut off my arm to steal it. Which is, y'know, a useful feature to have given my penchant for moving to quasi-dubious countries (next stop, Sierra Leone!) where the chopping off of arms is probably not totally out of the question.

I love my Casio because it tells me the MONTH, DAY and DATE. You'd be surprised how often people at work want to know what day it is. We work off Groupwise, so idiotic poor man's version of Outlook, but even so it takes only a second or two to click onto the calendar but, when you want an answer twice as fast, you ask Zoë and her oracle of truth that sits on her wrist. The day and date and shown on the watch face at all times, and you can get to the month if you really can't remember by clicking onto the adjust screen and surfing through to find it. You never really need to, though, because it knows. It just knows. Today it may be saying SA 31 but by the time I wake up it will be reassuring me that it's SU 1 and time to take the next probably-going-to-drive-me-insane dose of Mefloquine.

I love my Casio because it is EASY TO USE. It has to be really seeing as it's designed for men (boom boom) but seriously, the booklet that comes with it is pretty obsolete as it takes barely 10 minutes to figure out. There are 3 buttons, which pressed in certain combinations take you to the various features. Changing from AM / PM to 24 hour display takes one press, starting the stop watch takes 2 of one, and 1 of another. The light comes on with just one press, and the alarm can be switched off in two little pings. The display is clear and neat, with the hour and minute larger than the seconds, but the latter still easily readable, and the most winning feature of all is that it is silent. I can't stand ticking clocks or watches. If I wanted to surround myself with that kind of noise I'd become a bomb disposal expert. Come to think of it, silencing ticking devices would probably give me supreme job satisfaction, but I digress.


So there you have it. My Casio's features:

Alarm
Water proof
Emits Light
Stop watch
Ostentatious (not)
Month/Day/Date
Easy to use

I love my Casio because it is A-W-E-S-O-M-E

Buy it from Argos (it's been a catalogue staple for a few decades now) or from a seller in Chapultepec park in Mexico city. It's your choice.

I don't care if it makes me an 'ape-descended life form so amazingly primitive that I still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea'. I think these are fab, and wouldn't be without mine.